10 Things You're Doing That Totally Ruin Your Server's Life

10 Things You're Doing That Totally Ruin Your Server's Life

Some things to keep in mind to not make your server cry.
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If you're a server, you know all of these things toooo well. Here are 10 things all servers can't stand!

1. When your kids destroy the entire restaurant

Now, I don't hate kids or babies... but when working in the service industry they tend to create the biggest mess. Cudos to the parents who clean up after their kids, but to the ones who left an empty bag of breast milk on my table.. f ***you

2. When you're EXTRA

Me: "Hi, what can I get you started with to drink?"

Customer: "Hi, I'll have a water with extra lemon and a blue moon with 5 oranges"

SERIOUSLY? You can go to Meijer and get a whole bag of fruit but instead, you come here and irritate me AND the bartender.

3. When you don't give me a chance to speak

Me: "Hi, what can I get yo-"

Customer: "WATER."

4. When the food takes longer than expected and you take it out on me

I understand getting hangry... (trust me, I get that way more times I'd like to admit) but when you come into a restaurant that makes everything from scratch/made to order understand that it might take a minute. Also, DON'T come in if you are in a crunch for time. The world doesn't revolve around you and you will be taken care of it doesn't meet your expectations.

5. When all the high-schoolers pay with a $20 bill

I'm delighted you chose the restaurant I work at to spend your Friday night after the football game, but when you're ALL in a hurry and ALL pay with a $20 bill realize it's going to take me a minute to give all 17 of you change.

6. Vegan/GF/on a diet

I get it, you're vegan or GF. I'll always try to answer any menu questions to the best of my ability but when it comes down to "whats all in this sauce?" "how many calories are in this?" "does this topping contain gluten?" I DON'T KNOW. Please research the menu before coming out to eat, it's not my job to know absolutely everything about your food problems.

After all, I just work here so I can support my own shitty eating habits.

7. When you're on your phone

I get it, its the 21st century and cellphones are consuming our lives but when I'm trying to sit food down in front of you and your phone is in the way it's just flat out rude. Not to mention when you ignore me because you're too busy posting on Facebook that you forget your server is standing right in front of you trying to take your oder.

8. When you try to help clean up but really you're just making a bigger mess

It's the thought that counts, but it really just sucks when I'm busy and then I have to dig through stacks of plates and napkins just to find one fork. Next time, leave it to the busser.

9. Stiffing or poor tips

Hi, I make $4.05 an hour and I come to work with a good attitude and do everything in my power to give you great service. I rely on this tip. This tip feeds me, pays my bills and my rent. Consider this before coming out to eat with no money to tip. To the people who understand this and tip 20%, luv ya!

10. When you need three drinks per person

There is no need for an orange juice, water and a coffee. For the love of God, just pick one!

Cover Image Credit: Millennium Films

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15 Things That Need To Be Invented Now

The next round of needed life hacks.
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For Millennials, life is constantly being made easier. Compared to our parents' generation, almost everything about the way we run our day-to-day lives has been modified for speed, simplicity, and convenience. You want a cup of coffee? Here, have an instant cup of hot coffee at the push of a button! Missing your friend across the country? Call them with your smartphone, see them instantly! You can Google virtually any question, there is an app for every want and need; each step of the way Millennials are working to make things easier. I have a few ideas to contribute:

1. Extending USB cord: There must be USB plug that can stretch. The way a dogs leash will release more cord as it is pulled on, there needs to be a cord that can stretch as I roll over in bed without pulling the plug out of the wall. The struggle of being attached to a wall is too great.

2. Closet Organizer App: Some mornings you wake up and wonder how it was ever possible that you once found a decent looking outfit in your closet. Other days the prospect of having to dress yourself is just too much. There needs to be an app that can record what is in a closet and make an outfit, for any event, at the ready, similar to what Cher Horowitz has in Clueless.

3. Hangover Curing Drink: Stronger than Gatorade, better for you than pumping your stomach with Advil and water, and putting an end to the old "flu" excuse at work. A foolproof drink that can give everyone what they need to get up, pick their dignity off the floor, and soldier on. You all may thank me later.

4. Rent-A-Boyfriend: Have you ever had one of those weeks where you just need someone to bring you chocolate cake in bed and tell you you're beautiful? Maybe you really can't figure out how to build all the new Ikea furniture for your apartment and you are incapable of rounding up a guy friend to do it. Either way, the ability to rent a boyfriend on a needed basis would be quite handy. Think of all the stuff they could do for you, then you get to return them when you're done! It's like a dream.

5. Parking Tracker: What is it about parking garages that suddenly make everyone's memory go blank? Whatever the reason for the world's inability to keep track of their cars once stationary, it needs to be resolved. Too many minutes are lost aimlessly wandering the garage carrying heavy shopping bags. Please, someone invent a tracking app for your car, so that you can remember exactly where you parked and follow the map directly to it.

6. Forever-Hot Coffee Mug: I'm not sure what type of wizardry would be required to create a coffee mug that can abolish the awful lukewarm state that coffee turns into after such a short period of time, but someone needs to discover it. Long nights of studying and hours-long brunches of switching between the mimosa and the sweet nectar of the Gods will be forever changed by never again fearing cool coffee.

7. Teleportation Pad: The year is 2015; I was promised a flying car. In lieu of the flying car -- I am willing to accept teleportation pads. Think about travel becoming as easy as "stand here and click that button." Imagine not having to bother putting on a bra to go from your apartment to your friend's apartment for wine night! This could be revolutionary.

8. Sassy Siri: Every girl could use someone to help them come up with the perfect come back in a pinch, and who better than Siri! With her constantly involved in your conversations, it would be easy to just ask Siri for a little sass-assistance the next time your best frenemy mocks your highlights.

9. Compliment Earrings: If you have never seen Aquamarine, go rent it now. For those who recall, the star fish earrings were "notorious suck ups" to the girls who wore them. Imagine going through a tough day, when unexpectedly you are given a compliment! Talk about a great mid-day pick up.

10. Food Printer: My stalking of Pinterest food pages has progressed from a mild addiction to a full blown problem; I always find I want the things I see in the pictures immediately. I want to be able to hit print on one of the pictures and have those lemon-blueberry iced cupcakes in my kitchen right then.

11. Necklace De-Tangler: Ladies across the country lose thousands of necklaces to tangled knots. Chains break, two beautiful separates become one big mess, and before you know it your jewelry box is empty! There must be a machine where one could drop their knotted necklaces and have them come out the other side in perfect condition.

12. Hot Slippers: On a cold Monday morning when walking around the kitchen, debating which is worse, waking up or being awake, it would be nice to be comfortable. Nice pajamas are all well and good, but a fuzzy pair of slippers that can become warm? That is the dream. There is no morning too grey or hangover too intense that would not be cured with these slippers.

13. Calorie Rewind: There needs to be a way to take back that entire pepperoni pizza you ate last night. Whether you were not in the proper state of mind to be making that decision, or even if it was emotional turmoil over exams; it shouldn't count. Perhaps the next big thing in weightloss is a pill that allows you to take back a meal. A way to go back in time and undo that embarrassing trip to the doughnut shop down the road in favor of a more healthy alternative? Not a bad idea.

14. Sleepy-Time Studying: How awesome would it be if you could fall asleep with headphones in and wake up knowing an entire textbook? Humans spend an average of 26 years sleeping-- there should be a way to put that time to good use. A way to absorb the information while you sleep should be the next big invention. It would be the perfect cure to the all nighter!

15. Decision Making App: Desperately struggling to pick where to go for dinner? Unable to decide whether to go out or stay in? Unsure of whether it's a day for heels or for flats? These are the everyday questions faced by thousands of Millennials. We need to find a cure for the indecisiveness. An app that takes the guess work out of meaningless day to day questions such as, "Do I want a grande or a vent?" (Or I suppose you could just flip a coin...)

Bonus 16. Articles That Write Themselves: I wish I had a magic box I could give an idea to and it would instantly put print out the article I am trying to write.

Cover Image Credit: giphy.com

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15 Unconventional Ways To Make $1 Million As A Millennial

7. Get a sugar daddy.

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Stressed about money? Tired of being told it's just coz you're a lazy millennial? Have no fear! Follow any one of these fifteen tips to be rolling in millions in no time.

1. Pick the right major. 

https://www.facebook.com/PaperWritingsService/photos/basw.AbrynO5NnulcQo

If it's a field people want to go into, it's probably the wrong one. Don't you dare work with kids or old people or charities. Only science and math for you.

2. Invest early.

https://www.facebook.com/730533897137372/photos/bc.Abpl4ia

It's all about starting early. The difference between investing at 25 and at 30 is a million dollars. If you don't have the money to invest now--you'll be poor forever. But if you start when you're born you can be a millionaire by the time you graduate. Nothing to it.

3. Don't go into debt. 

https://www.facebook.com/juicymemeboys/photos/basw.Abq3ZHjuErhO93k205v

It doesn't matter that in the '70s a minimum wage summer job could pay for university and today Visa and McDonald's estimate that to afford to live on your own, all it takes is two full-time jobs and a willingness to not budget anything for health insurance, fuel or maintenance for your car, or groceries. NBD. All this whining about college tuition on top of living expenses? Everyone knows millennials are lazy. Just get a fourth job already for tuition. God gave everyone the same 24 hours.


4. Stop buying Starbucks. 

https://www.google.com/search?as_st=y&hl=en&tbs=sur%3Af&tbm=isc

The only obstacle between you and your six-figure-income is your $5 daily coffee habit. See, if you drink no Starbucks and commit to morning misery for the next sixty years, you can retire with a million dollars.

5. Get a side hustle. 

https://www.google.com/search?as_st=y&hl=en&tbs=sur%3Af&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=sPD

Work a side job for an extra 20 hrs/ week. Just think. If you work an extra 20 hours a week at $15/hr, ignore taxes, and only put 10hrs of your extra income towards all the bills your 40hr/week job doesn't cover, that leaves you $150 extra income a week. That's $7,800 a year. Make sure you don't get sick or buy a house or have your car break down and in 128 years you'll be a millionaire.

6. Just ask for it. 

https://www.facebook.com/thekennedyexperienceconsulting/photos/b

Like this guy.

7. Get a sugar daddy. 

https://www.facebook.com/773348686200763/photos/basw.AbqEBP_1W

This is easier than you'd think. I personally know several sugar babies, and according to the premiere site for sugar arrangements, there are handsome sugar daddies out there just aching to drip you in jewelry and pay you $2,800/month for tuition, compromising of morals encouraged but not required.

8. Marry rich!

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS701US701&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=

Harder than finding a sugar daddy, but (presumably) more legal than some of the following options.

9. Commit check fraud. 

https://www.facebook.com/CatchMeIfYouCanMovie/photos/bc.AboEDr-pQw1uWuup

it worked out for Frank. Till he went to jail.

10. Be an Uber driver in NYC. 

https://www.google.com/search?as_st=y&hl=en&tbs=sur%3Af&tbm=isch&sa=

All it takes is making sure you have $0.00 in expenses and in 10yrs you'll be a millionaire.

11. Rob banks. 

https://www.google.com/search?as_st=y&hl=en&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=ffX9W9G7N

Robin Hood had it easy. But thanks to all the films and TV series that showcase crime, we can all be experts at heists.

12. Have your child review toys on YouTube. 

https://www.google.com/search?as_st=y&hl=en&tbs=sur%3Af&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=

This kid made 11 million when he was 7. No kid? No problem. Find a baby daddy, have a cute kid, and put the kiddie's nose to the grindstone. Bam. 11million in under 8 years.

13. Sell your organs on the black market. 

https://www.facebook.com/1297809563661335/photos/bc.AbpCq3Xhu4rCmuMFy7XQ41SS36Xq5dRSbpVH8

Did you know that theoretically your body is worth up to $45 million? You have to sell every drop of it, but living in the lap of luxury till your body goes into renal failure is worth it. It's not a dumb way to die if you get buried in a gold casket, amiright?


14. Win the lottery. 

Your odds could be as close as 1 in 13,983,816. According to the National Weather Service, you're 20,000 times more likely to be hit by lightning than win the Mega Millions—if you bought a ticket each week, you could win once every 269,000 years. But someone's gotta win it. Might as well be you.

15. Overthrow the government and re-haul our failing economic system.

Good luck.

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