Your first time living with a roommate isn’t always the easiest situation to adapt to, especially if the very idea of sharing your personal space with another person is a foreign idea to you. Not only can it be a bit nerve-racking to move into such a small space with a complete stranger, you also have to take into consideration that the likelihood everyone abides by the same living habits is anything but high. Every room situation is different, but I have compiled a list of ten universal terms that could prove to be helpful to be when living with another person.
1. The Naked Fire Drill
When one roommate strips off their clothes in the bedroom and needs to relocate into the shower, they may call a “naked fire drill,” in which the other roommate must look away long enough for them to make a mad dash to the bathroom while in the nude.
2. The Dirty Dozen
There are at least twelve of your roommate’s plates in the sink, and lord knows that you aren’t going to be the one to clean them. Time to bust out the passive aggressive sticky notes!
3. The Parental Dupe
You’ve known your parents have been planning to visit for well over a month now, but decided to let your dorm room become increasingly dirty. With the help of your roommate, you can at least make your ol’ folks think you aren’t a total slob by stuffing any dirty clothes and sweeping your Kit Kat wrappers under the rug.
4. The Toilet Treaty
This is an agreement that no one roommate has to clean the bathroom twice in a row. It may not seem like a tedious task, but after one thorough scrub of the toilet, you’ll understand just how much you would pay to have a professional cleaning crew come through your dorm every week.
5. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Sometimes, the first few weeks of living with a complete stranger can be pretty uncomfortable. For instance, you may wonder exactly what it is they keep locked away in the safe under their bed, or why they spend three hours in the bathroom in the middle of the night. Well, my friend, it’s easy: If you don’t ask, they don’t tell.
6. Tribal Council
If your roommate has had guests over for too long, you are at liberty to call an emergency tribal council meeting with your roommate to vote the guests off the island (or, in your case, ask them to take the party elsewhere so you can start your last minute studying for that Oceanography class.)
7. Quarantine
8. The Nude Prelude
Face it, if when you’re home alone, it’s nice to be able to wander around in your underwear, sometimes even less. But when you have a roommate, it can be a bit of a gamble. A simple text warning them of potential nudity is always nice, that way nobody walks in on anyone else eating pizza rolls and watching Netflix while indecent.
9. Sh*t Talk Session
If you get along with your roommate, then it’s important set aside some time every week that you can both roast anyone and everyone that has been getting on your nerves. Boom, instant bonding.
10. The Food Feud
It’s never enjoyable when you have to spend your own money on groceries, only to have your roommate raiding the pantry and eating your food. There’s no better way for tension to rise than for your stash of Double Stuf Oreos to slowly dwindle away before you’ve gotten to have any.
