No matter how you got that junk in the trunk--squats, pizza, maybe a little bit of both--it comes with real-life daily struggles. No doubt, flaunt it!, because hey, all the songs are written about our butts, right? No matter how un-clever some of those lyrics may be.
"She got a big booty, so I call her big booty."
Thanks, 2 Chainz, for really putting thought into that one.
Here are 10 struggles that come with having a big booty: (but trust me, there's plenty more)
1. You'll never find jeans that fit perfectly--bless up for leggings
We've all experience the jeans that you think fit perfectly...until you realize you could probably fit a pillow in the waist. And don't even think about sitting down because...crack kills, kiddos.
2. You've never felt more awkward passing men in anything that grips your butt
We all know what your staring at...please make it a little less creepy.
3. Your bubble butt makes appropriate-length dresses an extra five inches shorter
It's that feeling when you're just about to go out and you think you're looking fly, only to turn around in the mirror and realize your butt is playing peek-a-boo. Then you HAVE to do the "bend-over check" and finally come to the conclusion you should throw on some spandex underneath--just to be safe.
4. Having to squeeze between tables or anything that could easily be knocked over puts you in panic mode
Walking by a table with a chair poking out, you say a little prayer not to knock over it over and completely embarrass yourself. Eh, you win some, you lose some.
5. The vulgar comments people have made about your booty seriously make you want to start dressing for the arctic
When you're wearing something that's pretty conservative, but some creep still knows how to make you want to throw on an ankle-length skirt and a turtleneck...
6. Makes doing simple things such as stretching, bending down to get something, or swaying your hips look sexual
The gym is always the worst place for this. When you're just trying to get through leg day or a nice stretch, but you feel like you're flashing the place for no reason. Sorry boys, this isn't a show.
7. Sharing a seat is never an option
Seriously, this is the worst situation to be in. Especially when you have to jam into the back of the car with 4 people, even though your butt could take up a seat-and-a-half on its own.
8. You could use your butt as a table
9. People think it's okay to just touch your butt
Um, excuse me sir...this isn't a "please touch" museum, and you should be on your way before I cause a scene.
10. You're always the friend getting her butt slapped whenever a song about having a booty comes on
Well, it's a good thing for having extra padding back there...and some killer dance moves to shake it!
Keep on shaking what ya mama gave ya!!!
xoxo Cait
