Okay, so our families are a bit crazy. And when I say a bit crazy... I mean a lot crazy. Growing up in an Italian family has probably earned you some of your most entertaining, aggravating, and humorous moments in life. Let's just say life can be like a reality show sometimes. There's a whole lot of yelling, a whole lot of eating, but most importantly, a whole lot of love.
1. You eat (A TON).
Okay, let's face it - a snack is a feast in an Italian family. A perfect example of how much we eat is the fact that when my mom was in the hospital pregnant with me, my grandpa came and set up a whole feast of muscles, pastas, and bread, in the hospital room, YES while my mom was casually having a baby. We can't go anywhere without something to eat, and when we do eat we eat to the fullest capacity that our stomachs can hold.
2. Is it really a family get together without at least a little yelling?
Even if we are not mad at each other, we are still yelling. It could be, "HEY CAN YOU PASS ME THE PARMESAN," or "HEY THROW ME A MEATBALL." We just tend to talk a bit louder than others. I'm pretty sure my family may have gotten noise complaints just for talking loudly. Italian families always know how to turn the littlest thing into a full-blown argument/World War III. I remember one time hearing my grandparents have a 20-minute argument on if Jonah was swallowed by a shark or a fish.
3. Eating Papa John's or Domino's is like blasphemy in your family.
Is this just a piece of cardboard with plastic on it? Pizza chains are not considered real pizza. When you hear someone say "I'm gonna order Papa John's," or "Domino's is the best," a piece of your heart just cracks a little. We Italians know what a real good Italian slice of pizza tastes like. The fresh mozzarella, with a hint of fresh basil and crust baked to perfection is what makes a perfect bite of pizza for a true Italian.
4. You eat pasta on Thanksgiving.
5. Italian techno music is a must have at big family get togethers.
That Tarentalla was rocking! Italian families know how to have a good time. When it comes to throwing a good party with some famiglia, you're bound to having the time of your life. Whatever party it is whether a birthday, a baby shower, a reunion there is bound to be some remixed good ol' classic Italian tunes and a lot of dancing.
6. It's not sauce - it's gravy!
You did not just call that sauce... did you? That red substance underneath your pizza and on top of your spaghetti may not look like that brown broth-y stuff we like to put on mashed potatoes called "gravy," but that's what we call it! I know in my grandpa's kitchen, sauce is like a curse word. My cousin even has a sweatshirt that says "Its not sauce, its gravy!"
7. We have to explain to people that Jersey Shore is not a proper depiction of how every Italian family is.
Just because a guy wears a wife beater, a gold skinny chain necklace, and has slicked back black hair, doesn't make him Italian. Okay, sometimes it does - but not every Italian family is like the very interesting one portrayed in the hit TV show Jersey Shore. Of course there are some families out there just like those people, but don't go around calling people from Italian Jersey families "Snooki."
8. You have a Ralph, Anthony, Joe, or Pat in your family.
Heck, my family even has a Ralph Junior! It's as if our ancestors thought that if they didn't name their baby boy one of these names, the child would be cursed. Then each of these names will some how evolve into names ending in "y" or "ie." (Ralphie, Tony, Joey, and Pattie.)
9.Your Grandpa wears a flatcap and suspenders.
10. There is a whole lot of love in your family.
Even though sometimes we make each other want to pull our hair out of our tiny little Italian foreheads (also known as "twoheads"), at the end of the day, Italian families have a sense of honesty which ultimately leads to love. Italian families are some of the closest families and really know how to show each other love - even if that love means driving down to the bakery to pick up the other a cannoli.
