1.We will not be returning to your regularly scheduled programming.
You know that groove you had gotten into, where you know, on some level or other, what to expect in a typical week? Throw that away. You now have one week in which to finish a boatload of studying, papers, lab work, projects, and exams with little to no regiment.
2. The number of beards on campus has increased drastically.
Times are busy. People have enough to worry about. So one of the first things to go is grooming. Enjoy watching the scruff set in on a bunch of men who do not look good with beards. At all.
3. There is no regular coffee in the dining hall.
You want some coffee with your bacon and eggs? Well, that’s too darn bad because your caffeine-starved peers got there first. There’s always decaf, but who on earth drinks decaf when there are exams to study for? Your options are: overspend on Starbucks, get a tub of that instant crap, plug your nose and chug the gas station swill, hope to God there’s a Dunkin’ Donuts, or go without coffee. And let’s be real; going without coffee just ain’t gonna happen.
4. People are in the library on a Friday and getting drunk on a Monday.
Since schedules have fallen away, everyone’s overstressed, and the university is on the brink of anarchy, why does this even surprise you? The end times are here, so pull out the stopper.
5. Pajama bottoms are suddenly a minor fashion trend.
Dressing to impress just isn’t a thing. Unless you have a presentation, you want to cling whatever strands of comfort you can find.
6. When that lucky few finishes early, they’re met with tearful hugs goodbye and a hint of silent loathing.
Don’t get me wrong, you’re happy for your friends. They’ve earned this break. They need their rest. But dammit, why can’t you be them? You need your rest, too!
7. For some odd reason, it’s easier to get a good night’s sleep.
Since nothing’s keeping you up late and nothing’s getting you up in the morning, you can work on your own terms. Your only set-in-stone appointments are your exams, which usually don’t start too early and don’t end too late.
8. All you want to do is sleep.
Yeah, this is true all the time. But now it’s really true. Why do you need to move? Why do you need to work? The semester’s gone on too long. You’ve earned your rest, but you have a couple days to push through.
9. The Holiday cheer is annoying, but it’s your only ray of hope.
You will actually fight the next person who plays “All I Want For Christmas is You.” But the trees, the hymns, the lights, and the prophecy of Zechariah all herald your coming catatonia.
10. You can count the number of days before break on one hand.
Every day you can take a finger down. You’re almost there! You’ve got this!