While you see snapchat stories of your friends living it up in the city at the clubs and bars, your snap story is of your dog on its leash next to a tree. That's the suburbs for ya. The familiarity might be a little nauseating at times, but we can all agree that it's the people (and often poking fun at them) that makes being home in the suburbs so much fun. You know you're in the suburbs if you can relate to at least a few of these. Live it up while you still can, before you're forced to live surrounded by young people on a thriving college campus again in the fall.
1) Women wear workout clothes even when they aren't planning on working out
2) There are children everywhere
This is really just a product of the fact that you've been surrounded by 18-24 year olds for the past 8 months, and also that inevitably as you get older everyone gets younger.
3) The main sport is walking the dog
Speed walking, leash in hand, in their workout clothes while gossiping about the neighbors. It's a sport that deserves its praise.
4) The second main sport is golf
"Gonna go hit some balls" is a common phrase, not to be followed by "That's what she said".
5) You run in to everyone you don't want to see, everywhere.
Similar to those unfortunate encounters in the Diag, but these are with your parents' friends at the grocery store and you're forced to remind them where you go to school and tell them how much you like it so far.
6) You wake up to the sound of lawn mowers and dogs barking
The classic melody of a suburban street. I don't know if this is just because it's summer, but I don't think I've seen a lawn mower on a college campus ever.
7) The text you most frequently send to your friends is "Let's go get food"
Okay so maybe this one is the same when you're at school, but the difference is this is just about the only option you have in the suburbs.
8) This means you become a regular face at a lot of food joints
Which is a little embarrassing when you've gained the freshman 15 or sophomore 40 and then people know they can always find you at the local ice cream store. My advice, from personal experience, would be always take it to go.9) You're unfortunately up-to-date on the latest town news, including what people from high school are up to today.
John dropped out of school, Suzy's parents got divorced and the Smith family moved to Africa to study elephant poop.
10) You spend a lot of time in basements
That may sound weird, but there are no bars or clubs or even real parties, just a lot of gatherings in basements. Not that I'm complaining because who doesn't love a good basement hang out.
As much as it's familiar and annoying, it does feel like home. Enjoy your calm summer in the suburbs while it's still socially acceptable to live at home!
