10 Signs That You’re A Master Procrastinator

10 Signs That You’re A Master Procrastinator

Everyone slacks off every now and then, but do you put the "pro" in procrastination?
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As a person who completes tasks at completely the last minute (like this article that you’re reading right now…), I find myself often working under intense pressure to meet deadlines with very little time to do so. I’m sure that I’m not the only person on planet Earth to procrastinate at certain points in time, however, if somehow you’re unsure if you are indeed a “pro” at procrastinating, here are ten signs that you are one.

1. You have an unnatural obsession with staring at clocks.

Clockwork Orange anyone? JK, not everyone stares at clocks like that… I hope. Anywho, as a procrastinator, you notice that you’re constantly checking what time it is to measure out how much time you have left to procrastinate further before your next deadline. Or, perhaps you’re looking to see how screwed you are in completing your next deadline. It’s possible to do both of these at the same time, so watch the clock at your own peril.

2. That next Black Mirror episode seems very appealing.

Ah, Netflix. And Hulu. And Amazon Prime Video. And HBO GO, and about a bazillion other video streaming services. They’re always there to help us procrastinators not stay on top of things. You can always count on binge-watching your favorite TV shows to distract you from studying for that dreaded midterm… or that next speech you have to write and present… or that email you have to write to a colleague...or… wait, hold up! Did Netflix just add a new comedy special featuring Ricky Gervais? Alright, I’m sold!

3. You look for any excuse to hang out with friends, family, even your dog.

Friends: “Hey, wanna go to the mall and get lunch?”

You: “Sure!”

Mom: “Can you go to the store and get some milk?”

You: “Sure mom!”

Dog: *curls up on your lap, falls asleep*

You, thinking: “Damn, now I can’t get up to get my laptop so I can start my homework! I’ll just wait here then.”

4. Food: A Procrastinator’s BFF.

Sometimes, you just gotta dedicate a half hour to eating every three hours. Oh wait, not everyone does that? No, just me? Okay fam.

5. Sleeping… Duh!

Why bother stressing out about stuff when you can just sleep and feel well rested after a five-hour nap? Naps are glorious! So take one! Or two…

6. Lists? Pssh, ain’t nobody got time for that!

As a slightly responsible human being, you know (or should know) that making “To Do” lists is a great way to remember everything you gotta do. And yet, for master procrastinators, To Do lists are simply decoration for your vision board since you’re distracted by literally anything else in the universe.

7. The Internet is your oasis.

Need I remind you that we live in a golden age of technology? You can be distracted by the infinite amount of content offered online. Social media, the news, the latest Panic! At the Disco music video and tour dates; I mean literally anything can distract you! Enough said.

8. You suddenly take up new hobbies when you know you shouldn’t.

Always wanted to learn how to knit? Take up knitting while you’re supposed to pay your phone bill (last month). Feel as if your messy room is a reflection of your crappy, unorganized life? Guess what, you’re the next Monica Geller! Wanna go to Toys R US before they go out of business for good and buy random toy puzzles to occupy your Friday night? Do it! (Fun Fact: I did that last Friday and don’t regret it one bit.)

9. You keep telling yourself “I’m really gonna get on top of my shit this time”... Like really? Nice Try :P

You tell everyone - your friends, classmates, professors, bosses, pets, neighbors, hell even baristas - that you’re finally gonna start to get organized and get your life back on track by swearing off procrastination forever. You say that, but does that happen? Yeah nah, once you’re a master procrastinator, you’re one for life honey.

10. JK, You’re Finally Getting Shit Done… Right?

Of course, I could be wrong entirely here, and perhaps you actually are getting your crap together. Perhaps you’ve managed to avoid succumbing to being a professional procrastinator and are indeed quite the opposite. Perhaps you’re great at time management and have your life in order. In that case, if you actually do, please tell me your ways! I’m a twenty-year-old sophomore college student who still feels like a fifteen-year-old high schooler for Pete’s sake! Tell me your ways, seriously!


Until the day happens where procrastination is a thing of the past, I’ll happily assume that you are a fellow procrastinator looking for validation by simply clicking to read this article. We all procrastinate, it’s just human nature, so rejoice procrastinators of the world! Now that I got that out of my system, I’m gonna try to get on top of my shit and do some homework… or do some more binge-watching, whichever comes first.
Cover Image Credit: StockSnap

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A Letter to the High School Senior Ready to Graduate

You are nearing the end.
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Dear Senior,

Congrats! You are nearing the end; you have finally made it through the four years you never thought would end. You made it through the dress codes, the late night cramming, the endless extra-curriculars and so much more that made your high school experience unique.

You persevered through the classes where you learned material you knew you would never use again, as well as the early morning classes you never wanted to wake up for. You made it through the drama you thought for sure ruined your life as well as the heartbreak that made you not want to walk the halls again.

These moments are almost gone and in the past, and I am certain you are so excited to leave the place where everyone knows who you are. As the days become numbered, you look forward to independence and a college where you can start all over.

I know you are excited for the future, but please remember what you are leaving behind.

You have passed your last Friday night football game. The next time you return to that stadium, you will be watching from the stands in a different atmosphere. You are coming up on your last dance. You will never shop for a dress that makes you feel beautiful or ask the girl of your dreams to dance with you again.

You won’t be in the student section cheering on your team with your best friends again. You won’t dress up for homecoming again. You won’t be a part of a team with your best friends. All these moments that went by so fast, so quick you didn’t even take time to realize it was your last, are gone.

Soon you will walk out of your high school hallway for the last time as a student. You will empty your locker that you shared with your best friend, who is probably going to some school hours away from you. You will finish your final test with the teacher you hated but they took the time to know your name. You will return your books, your computer, and say goodbye.

Then you will open the doors, so excited to leave the place you called hell on multiple occasions. Perhaps in this moment you will realize that this school will never be the same.

You are now an alumni, and you will never be the same walking in those hallways the way you were for four whole years. You are no longer a student, upperclassman, teammate or friend. Everything changes the moment you walk through those doors.

Soon you will walk across the stage, accept your diploma and say you did it. At that moment, look around. There are so many people you will never see again. The person you did countless projects with is going across the country and might never come back.

The person who lapped you in the mile is now going into the military, and you have no idea when you will see them again. The friends you spent endless Saturday nights with are leaving too. The people you grew up with, the ones who knew your birthday and favorite subject, won’t surround you.

Perhaps you find comfort in leaving familiarity, but remember that these moments are your last. Appreciate them, because when fall comes, everything will change.

You will leave your parents, your pets, your siblings. You are packing 18 years of your life into boxes as you try to gauge how much clothing you’ll need to bring because you have no idea when you’ll be home next.

You are leaving homemade meals and short drives to places you love. You are leaving everything you have ever known. Your parents will go back home, and you will be stuck alone at a place you now have to live at for the next few years of your life.

Professors won’t remember your name after the first semester. You will cry because you changed your major for the third time in four weeks. You have to choose classes that determine your future. Your parents won’t be there for you when you are sick. Your friends won’t be there when you have no one to eat with. You won’t have time to free read or think beyond the realms of school. You will constantly be buried in homework and anxiety. You have to rebuild yourself, by yourself.

So, senior, when you are so ready to go, please take a moment to realize what you are leaving behind. You will not get these moments back. The last dance, test, lunch, game, tailgate – appreciate them. College is amazing and filled with memories, but do not rush these last few weeks; you will never get them back.

The future will come soon enough. As you prepare for “firsts,” you are also approaching your “lasts” – embrace them please.

Sincerely,

College Student

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6 Struggles Of Being A Young, Dumb, Broke College Student

College is so expensive.

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College is seriously so expensive. I'm just out here trying to get an education, but it sure costs a pretty penny for a degree that doesn't even bring in any money until we use it to get a master's degree.

1. Having to opt out of dining out because food is just too darn expensive.

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2. I’m someone who doesn’t drink coffee, and my question is -- who made energy drinks so freaking expensive?? #sponsormeyerba

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3. Clothes...I firmly believe that most people have a great sense of fashion, but they don’t have the money for it.

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4. Whether you’re in the dorms or apartments, the rent is no joke.

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5. Buying textbooks is a complete nightmare.

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6. Signing up for loans is not fun at all, and you’re actually gonna have to pay that off for the rest of your life.

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Sometimes, college is so expensive that I feel like we all need GoFundMe pages. Literally, who made college so damn expensive?? Let's #makeeamericagreatagain by providing people with low-cost education and get them the education that they need!

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