"Have you seen 'He's Just Not That Into You?'"
This is usually my follow-up question when girls hit me with the why-isn't-he-texting-back or I-don't-know-what-he-wants whine fest. I saw the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" for the first time last summer, and despite its 6.4 rating on IMDb and suffocating celebrity cast, it came with such a clear and relatable message: any relationship worth having is worth fighting for.
Well, okay, that one was kind of implied. The real message was "if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a sh*t, he genuinely doesn't give a sh*t," but what I said was a little more poetic.
Ladies, we deserve so much better than these mind games and paranoia. Here are some red flags that maybe he's just not that into you:
1. He never calls/texts first
If you're waiting around, anxiously justifying his flakiness by telling yourself that he's playing hard to get, he's probably calling or texting someone else first instead of you.
2. He doesn't like "labels"
Literally, what does this even mean? If he is enjoying the physical perks of having you around but doesn't make an effort to spend time with you or to become something "more," he probably just wants to keep his options open in case a juicier steak comes along. You're not a piece of meat, period.
3. He only contacts you after midnight
He is also known as a f*ckboy. Run.
4. You always initiate plans
If he doesn't ask you to hang out with him, then he genuinely doesn't want you to hang out with him.
5. His replies aren't sufficient
If you're writing him love letters and essays worth of feelings over text, and he's responding with an "aww" or "lol," then give up the game now and move on. At least he's being polite by responding, in any case.
6. He doesn't introduce you to his friends
Or he hasn't told them about you because he's either embarrassed or honestly doesn't see you as having a big enough role in his life. (Exception: he doesn't have friends, in which case, run.)
7. He's inconsistent
If one week he can't stop talking to you, and the next it seems he's distracted with other things, then he probably isn't taking his pursuit of you seriously.
8. He doesn't keep his promises
From the biggest commitments to remembering to call when he said he was, a man is only as good as his ability to keep his word
9. He insists on referring to you as a "friend"
Parallel to Number 6, if he insists that you are his "friend" and doesn't hint at anything more, whether he's introducing you to his friends or he's talking about you when you're not around, it's likely that's exactly what he expects you to be.
10. He doesn't invite you to events
If you have to find out about his weekend endeavors through his Snapchat story or Instagram, then chances are it didn't even cross his mind to invite you. Someone who really wants to spend time with you will make it clear, and will at least have the decency to let you hear about it through them personally.
If you read this thinking you would be in the clear and that your man-friend doesn't show any of these signs, I'm afraid that the biggest red flag is:
If you even have to wonder if he's into you, he probably isn't.
Love hurts, sweetheart.
