English Majors are often the punchline to a lame joke, and while we may not be guaranteed a six-figure career, we can honestly say we followed our passions. Why else would we willingly choose to bury ourselves in student loans just to read and write about old dead guys? If you've ever had to explain your love of diagramming sentences, or convince a family member that there is validation in your plan of study, then hopefully you can relate to the following:
1. You dread every time someone asks your major because they will always assume you want to be a teacher.
2. You almost wish you did want to be an English teacher, so that you didn’t have to explain why you want to be a writer.
Or as they see it: a starving artist.
3. You’ve mastered this face whenever you hear jokes about working in a coffee shop or marrying rich.
4. You find ulterior meanings in almost everything.
5. Reading for fun is a thing of the past.
Sure, Beowulf and Heart of Darkness are great, but sometimes you miss mindless reading.
6. Which is why you treat your book collection like a work of art.
Even though you have shelves of books you haven't touched, you just can't seem to resist stopping in Barnes and Noble every once in a while.
7. When you do get a chance to read something other than homework, you find yourself diagramming sentences in your head.
8. You try and hide your excitement when a friend asks you to edit a paper.
9. You’ve presented a paper to your professor as if it was your newborn child.
Whether you spent the semester perfecting it, or managed to compile a questionable masterpiece overnight, it is sure to contain your blood, sweat, and tears.
10. You are terrified that after all the papers you’ve written, and all the knowledge you’ve acquired, you might actually become a barista.
Being an English Major can sometimes feel like you are slowly making your way to the edge of a plank. After all the reading, writing, and analyzing, you find yourself one step away from a vast, blank future. Most likely, you don't quite know what you want to do once the graduation cap comes off. And we may not be prepared to jump right into a definite career, but with our knowledge and skills, the possibilities are endless!
