I hear voices, yet I’m still considered sane

I’ve never cut myself, yet I still trace the vein

I am haunted, yet I still believe in God

Suicide is just to get the crowd to applaud

A silent reaction I can only see

This is lethargically taking over me

I believe in God because I am haunted

I pray to find a voice that says something besides unwanted

Is there a God when the voice inside my head said no?

Yet that figure at the end of my bed said so?

If I pray long enough will the voice go away?

Will I feel all alone if it doesnt stay?

Why didn’t it go away?

Will I ever be ok?

There is no god.

Move on.

I suffer yet I am still considered jubilant

My life has become one big disillusionment

I can’t retain body heat, yet I’m still a warm person

Each pill from the bottle will only make it worsen

I have an eating disorder yet you wouldn’t know because I’m overweight

I remember everything I never ate

Here's a trophy for all the big girls with an E.D

Because we died and nobody could ever see

I hear voices, yet they don’t sound like my own

They sing war songs of all boys I had ever blown

I hear my voice, yet I don’t seem to recognize it

Remember to swallow, and never to spit

I grew up in this body, yet I am unable to breath

With my legs straddled high and my mouth covered shut, I only have room to grieve

Can’t identify the skin I am in, but am told it will always be mine

How could I have ignored every sign

How fast can you put together a puzzle before someone starts to notice

I thought he looked at me so beautiful like a lotus

But my petals were plucked

Because I believed in the social construct

That I could get better if someone made me that way

The voices need a surrogate, so I think you can stay

Because even if you hurt me and totally blow this

Someone will always notice

I cut those words out of a magazine when I was five

Just as the words began to swarm to my head like a hive

Glued them into a journal and I’ve been waiting ever since

For someone to save me, someone like a prince

I feel like a cat on the “hang in there” poster

The same one on the office wall where they diagnosed her

Forever a poster child

Never reconciled

Forever a metaphor

Like the open window, closed door

Just find the next step

But find I’m forever kept

Always an example

For someone to sample

A case file for a counselor to pull out one day

“We could have saved this one, but she always looked ok”

Should have saved this one

A child who took a pair of scissors and the voices said run

But the voices are in my head

And the figure is only at the end of my bed

So I’ll continue to hang in there

And look back at that entry and compare

Which voice sounds closest to mine

But don’t worry I’ll be patient, for one day I’ll be fine