10 Reasons PIzza Is BAE

10 Reasons PIzza Is BAE

Why pizza is the greatest food of all time.
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10 Reasons Pizza Is The Best Food

If you know me at all, you will know that pizza is absolutely, without a doubt my favorite food in this known universe. Sure, I like french fries and burgers and grilled cheese as much as the next person, but nothing can surpass my love for pizza. If you still need convincing that pizza is superior to all other foods, look no further. If anyone can convince you that pizza is the greatest, I can.

1. It's Customizable

You can literally put anything on top of a pizza. ANYTHING. Pineapple. Anchovies. Bell peppers. Sausage. You’re only limited by your imagination and your tastebuds (and maybe what your chosen pizza distributor has in stock). You can have thick crust or thin crust. You can have a deep dish or a normal dish. Options on top of options.

2. Comes in many shapes and sizes

Pizza comes in so many forms. There are pizza pockets, calzones, pizza bagels, etc. You don’t like one form, try another. People are always inventing new ways to enjoy pizza, and they’re always wonderful and delicious.

3. Can be at your door in under forty-five minutes

You know those days when you don’t want to get out of bed for anything, let alone to get food for yourself? With pizza, you don’t have to. From the comfort of your bed, you can order a pizza and have it delivered to your door. Sure, you’ll have to leave your bed to get your pizza from the delivery person, but you can take that box right back to your bed and get comfortable all over again.

4. Doesn’t discriminate

You don’t eat cheese? There’s a cheese-less pizza for you. Gluten-free? Got that too.

5. Good any time of day, hot or cold

You can eat pizza for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or midnight snack. Hot or cold, it’s still just as delicious. Some people even prefer cold pizza if you can believe it.

6. Goes well with everything

7. Easy to make yourself

All you need is the crust, some marinara sauce, and your choices of cheese and toppings. It literally couldn't be easier. You can make your pizza exactly how you want it without worrying about someone messing up your order or forgetting your dipping sauces.

8. Good for sharing or keeping to yourself

Whether you’re going on a date, having a sleepover with friends, or just chilling alone, pizza is always the perfect meal. I mean, it's cut into slices for a reason. It's like those share packages of candy. You have the opportunity to share, but only if you really want to.

9. Covers all the food groups

You got your dairy, your meat, your carbs, your veggies, even your fruits if you’re feeling it. I mean honestly, do you need to eat anything else?

10. Bad pizza is still good pizza

A frozen Digiorno's pizza may not be as great as a CPK pizza, but it still satisfies that pizza craving. I've had pizza from several places, including Cici’s and Little Caesar’s, and though they may not be the best of the best, they get the job done.
Cover Image Credit: AZ616578

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Sorry Not Sorry, My Parents Paid For My Coachella Trip

No haters are going to bring me down.
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This piece is intended to be a satire of an experience at Coachella.

With Coachella officially over, lives can go back to normal and we can all relive Beyonce’s performance online for years to come. Or, if you were like me and actually there, you can replay the experience in your mind for the rest of your life, holding dear to the memories of an epic weekend and a cultural experience like no other on the planet.

And I want to be clear about the Beyonce show: it really was that good.

But with any big event beloved by many, there will always be the haters on the other side. The #nochella’s, the haters of all things ‘Chella fashion. And let me just say this, the flower headbands aren’t cultural appropriation, they’re simply items of clothing used to express the stylistic tendency of a fashion-forward event.

Because yes, the music, and sure, the art, but so much of what Coachella is, really, is about the fashion and what you and your friends are wearing. It's supposed to be fun, not political! Anyway, back to the main point of this.

One of the biggest things people love to hate on about Coachella is the fact that many of the attendees have their tickets bought for them by their parents.

Sorry? It’s not my fault that my parents have enough money to buy their daughter and her friends the gift of going to one of the most amazing melting pots of all things weird and beautiful. It’s not my fault about your life, and it’s none of your business about mine.

All my life, I’ve dealt with people commenting on me, mostly liking, but there are always a few that seem upset about the way I live my life.

One time, I was riding my dolphin out in Turks and Cacaos, (“riding” is the act of holding onto their fin as they swim and you sort of glide next to them. It’s a beautiful, transformative experience between human and animal and I really think, when I looked in my dolphin’s eye, that we made a connection that will last forever) and someone I knew threw shade my way for getting to do it.

Don’t make me be the bad guy.

I felt shame for years after my 16th birthday, where my parents got me an Escalade. People at school made fun of me (especially after I drove into a ditch...oops!) and said I didn’t deserve the things I got in life.

I can think of a lot of people who probably don't deserve the things in life that they get, but you don't hear me hating on them (that's why we vote, people). Well, I’m sick of being made to feel guilty about the luxuries I’m given, because they’ve made me who I am, and I love me.

I’m a good person.

I’m not going to let the Coachella haters bring me down anymore. Did my parents buy my ticket and VIP housing? Yes. Am I sorry about that? Absolutely not.

Sorry, not sorry!

Cover Image Credit: Kaitlin Harasta

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10 Reasons That My Staple Is Bread And Cheese

Nothin' else is necessary.
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This goes out to all those who have scoffed at my eating habits.

You'll never understand me fully. But you'll come close if you read this article.

Cheese and bread. Bread and cheese.

What could go wrong?

.. not sure, but a lot can go RIGHT!

Here are 10 beautiful reasons to love the simple simplicity of cheese and bread. No need to get fancy to get filled:

1. Grilled Cheese

2. A just cheese taco

3. A cheese Quesadilla

4. Cheese bread

5. A cheese bagel

6. A cheese stick and a roll

7. Garlic Bread with cheese on top

8. A cheesy pancake

9. Sauceless pizza

10. A cheese calzone

And to increase the insanity,

here is a poem in honor of this dynamic duo:

I love cheese:

To ooze and squeeze

To greet and eat

To chomp and beat

In my hungry mouth

Until it goes south

Stanza 2

I love bread

Better than lead

Cause it's edible,

Cause it's fed

Me for many a year.

Cheers.

I hope this made you laugh. What a banner article.

Cover Image Credit: Susan Powe

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