1. The “Auburn Family" is weak.
Auburn fans greet each other with “War Eagle!" no matter where they are. If you are representing the “AU" anywhere on your body, anywhere in the world, you're guaranteed to receive one or two battle cries. Who would want that?
2. The football season is so boring.
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Why would anyone ever want to call themselves a fan of a school that has multiple National Championship titles, a stadium that holds over 87,000 people, or one of the best rivalries of all time? Spending September Saturdays on the plains while tailgating all day and screaming “Bodda Getta" sounds anything but enjoyable.
3. The weather is the worst.
Walking to an 8 a.m. class in sunny, 60 degree weather with no chance of rain? Ugh, no thanks. Okay, the humidity can be a little extreme sometimes, but 100% humidity in Auburn is better than 0% humidity in Tuscaloosa.
4. Tradition is not unique in the slightest.
Don't even get me started about the eagle circling around Jordan-Hare stadium before a football game or the celebratory rolling of Toomer's corner after each victory. How about all that while drinking the infamous Toomer's lemonade? Gross.
5. Aubie… if that's even his real name.
You're telling me that a mascot who is involved in daily student life and has won the Capital One Mascot Challenge multiple years in a row is representing this place? It's a good thing he's cute.
6. College Town atmospheres have nothing to offer.
Auburn isn't necessarily a large town and it is pretty easy to find your way around after a week or two. Not to mention the safe atmosphere, historic downtown, and downright beautiful campus. Also, running into multiple people you know in one night is almost a given, and when it does happen it makes you feel super popular. Anyone else find that irritating?
7. Academics are basically down the drain.
140 majors offered? Weak. In a recent study done on the 16 hardest colleges in the country to receive an “A" grade in, Auburn is ranked number 5. The average student scored between the 25th and 75th percentile on the SAT and a 24/30 composite score on the ACT. What an easy school!
8. Greek Life is pretty much nonexistent.
28 IFC fraternities plus 17 NPC sororities equal over 30% of Auburn's student body that is involved in Greek Life. A day that goes without a social, philanthropy event or fraternity party (yes- even on school nights) is a rare one. But socializing is so last year… right?
9. Location-wise you may as well be off the grid.
An hour and a half away from Atlanta, two hours away from Birmingham, and five hours away from cool places like Nashville, New Orleans, and Savannah make for quick and easy drives. But last time I heard, no one enjoys road trips.
10. It won't let you leave.
With all the advantages of a large state school, it is hard to leave. Football Saturdays, a great atmosphere, friendly people, and an impressive social scene tend to draw people into the plains. It's easy to get caught up in everything. Doesn't that make Auburn the absolute worst?
