Hey there, reader. I'm a little strapped for cash right now. Could I real quick borrow 20 bucks? You know I'll pay you back eventually. Your wallet still not loosening from your pocket and/or purse? Fine. Here's a list of pretty good reasons to give me $20.
1. I definitely spotted you that one time.
Remember? At the vending machine? You were all like, "Man, who charges $20 for a soda?," and I was all like, "No sweat. I'll pay for you." What a time.
2. I asked first.
I asked for money before you did, therefore I earned it. Don't argue with the logic.
3. You (probably) missed my birthday/half-Christmas.
It was my birthday Saturday. Did you know that? It was also half-Christmas. Did you know that? And you didn't send me a card for either. Pay me back and get in the holiday spirit with a crisp $20 bill.
4. Speaking of the $20 bill, you don't want to be caught dead with one.
With Harriet Tubman replacing Andrew Jackson on the 20, do you really want to be caught carrying around last year's model? I don't think so.
5. You might be my parent.
If you're one of two people reading this article who raised me from birth, you've already poured thousands into my development and well-being (not to mention education), so what's another 20 on top of that? Also, once again, Saturday was my birthday.
6. Look at this like an investment.
You paying me $20 now will only help you in the long run. It's all about the long-term investments, and with my broad understanding of the economy, I'm sure this will work out in your favor.
7. I probably have a good credit score.
I don't really know how to check my credit score, or what a credit score actually is, but mine is most likely pretty good.
8. I'm a college student.
Being a college student is like attaching a giant vacuum to your bank account that keeps sucking away until you're helping your own kids pay for college. Then it keeps sucking.
9. I'm an English major.
Did someone say, "You'll never find a job in your field?" Yes. Plenty of people. Please stop.
10. Deep down, we both know you want to give me your money.
I think we both know that you'll feel better and I'll feel better if you're liberated from that 20 that's weighing you down. I'd be happy to take it off of your hands.
