You had the sole attention of your parents until, you blinked, and suddenly you are an older brother or sister and your life has changed forever.
Being an older sibling has both advantages and downfalls. This is something I learned when I was only a year old, and I became a big sister. When she was born I was so happy to hold her and be able to share my toys, but as we got older the dynamic began to change. I wasn’t just sharing my baby doll with my sister but I was also sharing the love of my parents. When my younger brother was born, I was in kindergarten. I was happy to become an older sister yet again, and I was starting to learn the responsibility of being the oldest and the role I play in the family. I have come across just about every perk and pitfall of obtaining this lifestyle. Below I have listed just a few that every eldest child has probably came across at least once in their life.
1. Parents typically set very high expectations for the eldest child.
Being the first-born means that you set the foundation for your younger siblings. If the oldest child receives a 4.0 in school there is a chance their younger brother or sister will want to do the same.
2. You have heard “set a good example for your little brother and/or sister” too many times to count.
Therefore, you must always have your little brother or sister in the back of your head before making any kind of decision in your life, because you never know the effect you are making on them, right? You hate to hear this throughout your life, but you know that they follow in your footsteps and you unconsciously hold the key to their future.
3. A variety of parenting styles and discipline methods were first used on you to be tested out.
My dad wrote me a letter when I graduated high school. In this letter he said (and I quote) “Unfortunately, with you being the oldest child, we probably make a few more mistakes as first time parents and learn lessons and make better choices with your sister and brother. Sorry about that one, Abby.” I giggled when I read this line but it couldn’t be more true.
Younger siblings are left off the hook for staying up too late or not doing their chores. However, you spent countless hours in timeout or without a TV. Giving a child consequences for bad behavior was very prominent in your childhood but your parents now feel that giving your little sister a punishment wont teach her a lesson of any kind.
4. You were cleaning your room, doing the dishes, and picking up dog poop by the age of 8.
The oldest child seems to be a lot more independent then the middle or youngest child for this reason. Your younger brother can’t take out the trash or put away his clothes because “He’s only 15 and he doesn’t know any better.” This line has been getting old for years.
5. You probably didn’t get your first cell phone until you were a teenager.
Your friends received their first phone in the sixth grade, but your parents feel you won't be ready for the responsibility of having a phone until you are exactly 13 years old. You were the last of your class to finally have your own phone, a pink razor to be exact, but you had to wait until high school to get texting privileges. However, your little brother receives his first phone (with texting) by the age of 10 because “times are changing” or “we need to know where he is at all times.”
6. Being the eldest sibling and having a Type A personality goes hand in hand.
You were given the responsibility of being the oldest child when you were just a little kid. Your parents told you that being an older brother and/or sister means that you always have to watch out for your younger sibling and teach them right from wrong. This made you feel useful because you were playing an important role in the family. As you grew older the inner type A personality was brought out with schedules, organization, and an uncontrollable amount of worrying.
7. You have used the excuse “I was born first” or “mom loved me first” to get shot gun countless of times.
Being the oldest child gives you priority over everything, or so we think.
8. You are expected to drive your siblings all over town the minute you get your license and for many years to come.
You are in the middle of taking a nap, and you receive a phone call that goes somewhat like this “I need you to take your brother to basketball practice, I can’t get home from work in time and he doesn’t have any other way of transportation.” You were in the middle of your personal day, and you have to be in the car for the next hour. However, getting $20 to drive your younger siblings around is a bonus.
9. You have spent much of your childhood and teenage years doing unpaid babysitting.
Your parents think why should I pay for a babysitter when I have you. That’s why they had more then one child in the first place right?
10. You are expected to be a role model for your younger siblings at all times.
You have always tried to set a good example for your younger siblings throughout your life, but the minute you make a bad decision your parents tell you that you need to think about the choices that you make because your younger siblings look up to you. Although this statement gets under skin, you know your parents are right. You made a bad choice that you hope your little brother and/or sister never makes and you think twice the next time.
Sometimes we forget, but as the oldest child we hold a significant role in the family. When your younger sister or brother goes off to high school, you feel like they should still be that little kid that doesn't stop pestering you. You stop and think, “Where has the time gone?” Although being the eldest child can be difficult at times, you will always feel the need to protect your younger siblings, teach them right from wrong, and give them advice on anything that might be troubling them, and you wouldn’t trade that for the world.
