I have been married for almost two years. I adore my marriage and my husband. But there are some myths I still find myself believing certain things about how marriage should be. Even if you are married or one day plan to be; there are certain myths to get over.
1. You're going to like your spouse every day
LIES. You just have to choose to love your spouse everyday. It's ignorant to think you will like someone everyday of your life. But the beautiful thing about love is you choose to love your partner day in and day out.
2. You're not going to want to walk away
Maybe not in the few months but once the newylwed bliss leaves you will get into a bad fight and want to walk away. the reality is, you should have the mindset of not walking away but we are humans and make mistakes. Choosing to stay and fight for your marriage is different than wanting to walk away. I have wanted to walk away many times; its a choice not to.
3. My in laws and I are going to be best friends all the time
Now I love my in laws but the truth is we don't see eye to eye on some things. They're my friends but it's crazy to think they can always be my best friends. It's awkward if I need to complain about my husband to call up his mom and explain why he is wrong.
4. We are going to go on vacation, buy a house, etc..
Life happens quick in general and even quicker when your expectations aren't clear. Money problems hit hard in a marriage when a car needs fixed, an animal is sick, and one person is laid off. Let go of the expectations of high hopes for unrealistic goals in a short period. Save for multiple rainy days vs a vacation to the Bahamas.
5. We survived a year the hardest parts are behind us
You will hear throughout the wedding process that if you make it one year you can make it a thousand. If this was true why are the divorce rates so high? Because marriage is a constant battle between the hard stuff and the good stuff. Surviving a year is an accomplishment but marriage doesn't stop there.
6. My spouse doesn't see my perspective, they aren't on my side
Being married usually makes you on the same team. It your marriage vs the world pretty much. Just because your spouse doesn't agree with you or understand where you are coming from doesn't mean they are against you.Get over that child like thinking and focus on how you can communicate better about your feelings.
7. Sex = Love
As awesome as sex can be right after you get married it won't always be great. You can hit a low point and start second guessing that your spouse doesn't love you. If this happens it's time for a discussion as awkward and embarrassing it may be. Talk about sex
8. Everyone is going to respect my choice
Some people don't believe in marriage or monogamy. Some people think it's a barbaric idea and it may be. Learn to not get butt hurt every time someone asks you why you got married. It's asinine to think everyone will agree with you.
9. I can't go out and have fun with my friends
You can go out. I have dates with my closest friends but the difference now that I am married is I don't get to go home to another man or go home with someone else. You can go have fun. You don't have to be a hermit.
10. My spouse just is doing everything wrong
Even though that's untrue and very unlikely that they are doing everything wrong. If you believe they are then focus on what they do right. And go from there.
