Warning: This post is filled with sarcasm and love.
My family has had our orange tabby, Garfield -- I know, my brother and I were creative kids -- since I was in sixth grade. He turned 10 last April and I've come to the realization that he's like my family's own fuzzy, orange Yoda. He has taught us a lot over the last decade. Here are just some of those life lessons:
10. Sometimes you just need to bro out.
Even cats like to play COD.
9. Plastic bags are terrifying.
Not only are they harmful to the environment, but they also make a terrifying sound when crinkled in just the right way.
8. You can take a nap anywhere if you put your mind to it.
In the sink, in a sock drawer, on the window sill; you name it, Garfield can (and will) sleep there.
7. Food is love, food is life.
It is completely normal and should be anticipated that my cat will get hangry if one of his menservants (aka anyone in my family) does not feed him in the time allotment he expects.
6. Resting bitch face is a problem that plagues all species, genders, and walks of life.
I wonder if Garfield's RBF is the result of his never-ending judgment of human nature? If so, it's justifiable.
5. Sometimes you just need to be alone.
I think if my cat could talk he would say something like this: "It's not that I don't love you. I just prefer loving you from 10 feet away. With no touching. Or actual interaction whatsoever."
4. Vocally expressing your happiness is perfectly acceptable.
Garfield purrs like a diesel truck when he's happy. Especially if it is three in the morning and he's taking up 3/4 of my bed.
3. Always enjoy the small things in life.
Some of Garfield's favorite things are so simple. The sound of a bird chirping outside the window. A bowl of cat kibbles. Laser lights he tries to catch to no avail. I often wish I could find happiness that simply in my day-to-day life.
2. Don't conform to social stereotypes.
Most people would think a cat's favorite toy would be a toy mouse or catnip. My cat's favorite toy is my dog's chewed up tennis ball. He plays with it more than the dog.
1. Not everybody is going to like you and that's OK.
I have a lot of friends that hate cats and instantly dislike Garfield upon first meeting him. It's understandable. He's a sarcastic little shithead with a God complex, like most cats. That's why I love him.
