So often, we let society and those around us determine entirely too much. We let them decide what is "cool," but why can't everything be cool? We are unique, so why can't everything be cool to different people for various reasons? When we let society choose these things for us, we also easily let it place judgement on those who don't follow the "cool" standards. I've never quite fit the mold of "cool" or "normal," as I was one who always stood out in the crowd in one way or another. Here, are 10 amount of lies society tells us:
1. Being beautiful is the most important thing.
Unfortunately, in our society, there is a very heavy emphasis on physical appearance. With that being said, you are beautiful just the way you are. You shouldn't be focusing on how to make yourself beautiful, because girl, you already are. If genuine and unconditional love, success, meaningful relationships, and a purposeful life is what you're "life goals" are, none of that depends on your physical attributes.
2. There is only one way to be beautiful.
We all are unique and because of that, have unique styles, tastes, and opinions. Don't believe there is only one way to be beautiful, because we each have different thoughts as to what that means. It just so happens that those we see on mass media, advertising, and fashion have one opinion. Who is to say that it is the only and correct opinion?
3. Marriage is happiness, while being single is not.
It's as though we have been conditioned to believe that we are only half a person until we find that "better half." It is more than wonderful when it works out, but I know many people who are just as content, if not happier, while single. Being in a relationship is not always hearts and flowers, it also doesn't necessarily mean you are in love or happy. Being single does not necessarily mean you are miserable and unwanted. Plenty of people choose to be single.
4. You must be married by x age or you shouldn't get married at x age.
There may be more pressure from certain cultures than others, but overall marriage always becomes an issue once you've reached a certain age and you're still single. Questions start flooding in; "do you not want to get married?" "why haven't you settled down yet, what are you waiting for?" If you aren't married by a certain age, they just kind of give up on you as if it won't happen. Everyone has a different walk in life and there are many changes in the world that have affected lifestyles and choices people make.
5. Skinny is healthy and thick is not (and vice versa).
People, very often, will disguise a plight to influence weight loss behind "I just want you to be healthy." Skinny does not always mean healthy. You can have a lot of health problems from being too thin, just as you can from being too heavy. Here's an idea: let's stop the body shaming, society. Keep your health separate from the idea that healthy is a certain size and focus on habits that make you healthier, not thinner.
6. You can only celebrate certain events and they can only be celebrated certain ways.
If you choose to marry someone, you don't have to have a huge, over-the-top wedding, you don't have to invite all of the people your family knows, you do not have to feel bad for wanting a very small gathering to exchange vows and be with the people who really matter to you. On the other side, you do not have to apologize for sending a large amount of money on a huge celebration if that's what you'd like to do. Bottom line: decide what works for you and don't apologize for it. Don't let other people make celebrations a stressful time for you because of the expectations you are not "living up to."
7. You can't handle a life by yourself.
Men are for fixing things and paying the bills and women are for taking care of the kids, right?m Don't let yourself be scared into a life you don't want, simply because you don't think you can handle it by yourself. Letting someone else give you your sense of worth is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. Don't get me wrong, your significant other should encourage you, but don't let them be your only source of worth.
8. A career is something you pursue when you don't have love.
While this can be the case for some people, it isn't always the case. Remember, the term career can very from person to person and doesn't necessarily mean a job that you're going to hate or are just in for the money. If you really find your passion that fills you up like any other kind of love could, it's more than just a job. It's not only self-fulfilling and not reliant on anyone else. It's something very much worth pursuing. While it's sometimes difficult to balance a career and your love life/family, people can and choose to do it.
9. A successful career is a must.
Please, define success for me, because last time I checked, everyone has a different definition of success. What is defined as a successful career? To me, doing a job you love is a successful career, but that might not be the same for you. Do what you love for the rest of your life, I promise you'll be successful.
10. If you disagree with someone, you are against them.
This is one of the biggest lies underlining society (and us) as a whole. From religion to sexual preference, to values, and beliefs. If you don't agree with someone it doesn't change and shouldn't change how you treat them. You don't have to put aside or compromise your beliefs or convictions in order to be compassionate.
