Halloween is just around the corner! So if you haven't picked a costume yet, you're probably freaking out right about now. Well, don't panic! I have some great suggestions for quick, easy last-minute costumes that will have your friends saying: "What?"
1. Sexy Newt
This is, unfortunately, the only sfw rendition I could find, but picture this as your Halloween costume. Great, right?!
2. A Pile of Grass Clippings
What says Halloween better than a classic clump of dead grass? And what an easy last-minute costume to make! Just find your local gardener and make him help glue some leftover clippings to your body. If the gardener does not comply, get your friend Tony to come talk to him. He knows some people. Easy as can be!
3. Our 12th President Zachary Taylor
Although Taylor is one of the least remembered presidents, you'll be keeping with the hip new trend of bringing dead politicians into pop culture. Maybe Lin Manuel Miranda will turn this one into a musical too--starring you in a white collared shirt looking vaguely uneasy into camera. (Maybe people would remember him if he just smiled a little more, am I right ladies?)
4. A Mole
It's your choice: either a mole a la Cindy Crawford, or the animal that looks like a bear who recently got french tips. Either way, your friends will absolutely love your creativity!
5. An Exact Replica of a Human Lung But 3.4 Times Bigger
You'll impress all your friends by showing off your science skills. All you have to do is apply to be a medical student, get accepted into a good program (maybe not your first, but, hey, it's still decent), study the human lung for years, copy its dimensions (times 3.4) exactly into a 3D printer, and--voila!--you have a perfect last minute costume.
6. Sea Cucumber
All you need for this costume is some tube feet, a nice hat, and a fish to live in your butt! That's almost too easy.
7. A Bean Burrito
This one's quick and easy: find a giant tortilla and wrap yourself up in it. Inside the tortilla, pour a lukewarm can of beans you found lying around in your kitchen and maybe some old lettuce in the back of the fridge. Top it all off with some chunky salsa and you've got yourself a costume my friend!
8. A Yellow Starburst
Poor, neglected yellow starburst. Always uninvited to the party. Definitely go around to everyone that night and make them feel bad about trying to ignore you. That'll help make Halloween special. And it'll make Michelle love you again. Win-win.
9. ZORGATRON 3000
Wear this easy-to-make costume if you really want to go for that fun, flirty look that tells all the boys: ZORGATRON 3000 WANTS TO TAKE OVER EARTH. DEATH AND DESTRUCTION IS NIGH. LOOK INTO ZORGATRON 3000's GLOWING RED EYES. YOU KNOW ZORGATRON HAS SEEN SOME STUFF. AND YET NONE OF IT IS AS BAD AS YOU TRYING TO PICK UP WOMEN. YOU SUCK.
and finally, your favorite and mine:
10. A Member of the Gospel Choir from The Great American Bible Challenge
Pick your favorite! There's so many to choose from! And what a variety of costume choices!
Happy Halloween everyone! Good luck finding that perfect last minute costume! :)
