Movies have the habit of focusing in on the chaos surrounding large families. "Cheaper by the Dozen" or "Yours Mine & Ours," may tie up their endings with decent resolutions, but overshadowing it is the spilt milk or split families. As the 3rd oldest in a family of 10, I can attest to the life of a larger household. Although it is not all rainbows at every moment- it certainly has its golden coin moments.
1. Many Hands Make Light Work
You get used to the stares. Upon walking into any setting: restaurants, school events, or even mass, it is written in today's culture to not be ashamed of staring. Yet, After 21 years of being gawked at- there is more to a big family than the over sized white vans. At first glance, yes, there are a few complications to having so many children. There is conflict with any type of family dynamic. Countless people have addressed the downsides. Yet, somehow my parents have found a rhythm to the madness. As my dad always said, "many hands make light work."
There are more people to provide for and more to be rewarded by. After a big portioned meal, it is understood that every family member pitches in. We learn to work as a team and to conquer the leaning tower of dirty dishes. Picture a factory assembly line. Each sibling has a specific job. Jane grabs the forks, Mary sweeps, Tommy handles the garbage, Annie loads the dishwasher, as Emily unloads the clean dishes. I do laundry while Julie and Matthew typically clear the table and run away. Knowing exactly what is expected of us has drilled responsibility into our actions. The important aspect of our nightly routine thrives due to our parents participating in clean up. They are equally active in picking up after us and do not expect us to do everything alone. Their presence is an example to how we can function as an orderly house. Having a crew to move the family forward is just a building block toward a healthy life at home. After all, many hands make light work.
Have a team mindset in terms of living with others. It is important to all pitch in when tedious house chores seem too much. Sharing a living space requires everyone to get off the bench and go to bat in every situation.
2. Sacrifice Trumps Entitlement
Living with 12 other people requires you to learn to adjust to the needs of those around you. Six sisters has taught me compromise. I spent 18 years of my life sharing a room, flip- flopping between sisters. In the process, I benefited for not only the relationships I gained, but for the sole fact that sacrifice became my best friend.
My family has moved houses five times. Adapting to a different house forces the team to find a new strategic play. A change of lifestyle requires sacrifice from all ends. My parents are driven and the hardest working people I know- in the face of financial struggle they cling to their faith. Likewise, they have sacrificed a life of entitlement for a life for their children.
They taught me to be selfless in my lifestyle, to pay attention to those I love, and to surround myself with positive people. Sacrifice trumps entitlement. I am indebted to my family for the priceless embedding of selflessness within my soul.
Learn to hit an RBI. Sometimes you have to offer up your immediate needs to see someone else slide home. Life feels more rewarding when it is offered up to those around you. Do not forget about your own personal needs, but never allow that to be what keeps yourself from giving.
3. Batting With A Baseball Team Beside Me
Friends come and go- everyone experiences a strikeout. Knowing that a family is cheering for you is powerful. No matter what the world throws at me; I can walk into my house knowing that I will be well received.
Imagine the flu. Now picture twelve people with the flu. We have spent days in one room watching movies and getting sick together. Life in the big leagues is one domino effect. We play together and we get sick as a team. Nothing gets past one person. Yes, it is horrible knowing that Julie has strep and I will most likely fall victim, but it taught me more than a thing or two about life.
Surrounding yourself with those you love creates a diamond of support and an outfield of possibilities. The extra support from a team provides an extra push to succeed. In my weakest and most vulnerable moments, instead of giving up I surge forward, knowing that I am batting with a baseball team beside me.
Keep those who love you close and allow anyone who has hurt you to stay seated in the stadium. Let life unfold as everyone around you watches and know that you never step up to the plate alone. A dugout behind you is there for support and your family will cheer no matter how many foul balls are hit. My family extends beyond the twelve I live with- yours can too. Set the lineup and choose wisely. After all; you are stuck playing the game- together.
