I am a bit of an eavesdropper by accident. To explain, I am extremely quiet in public places where I don't know anyone or if I am just with one person. My ears tend to drift from place to place and I hear some unfortunate things, which I detail on Twitter. These are just a few.

1. Bathroom situation

I was at work, using the bathroom, and minding my own business when another lady walks into a stall and (very clearly) locks the door. Keep in mind, we are the only people in the bathroom. Next thing I hear is her loudly start to brush her teeth while having a LOUD bowel movement. To make things even better, she was gagging at the same time.

2. Anxiety complainers

I, being a long-time anxiety sufferer, was thrilled to hear in passing a couple of girls complaining about anxiety like they understand it.

Girl 1: "Just smoke a cigarette if you have anxiety. There is no point in taking medication."

Girls 2: "Yeah, I agree."

No, thank you. I am going to continue to take my meds and you can enjoy your cancer sticks.

3. Mid-conversation confusion

As I was washing my hands, a lady bursts through the door while in mid-conversation with another person and says, "DAAANNNNNGGG, that's a gang." I am still confused on what led up to that conversation.

4. Target is for little kids

My boyfriend and I were shopping for card games in Target when a mom and her little boy came by. He had to have only been three or four years old. She asked, "Okay, is that all you want." He replied, "Yes Momma. I have everything I could ever want."

5. Luke Skywalker is...

Spoiler alert ahead for Star Wars: The Last Jedi. I warned you. When Luke was getting shot at and there seemed like no hope the theater was drop-dead silent. We had all accepted his fate. Then, the smoke cleared and Luke was standing there untouched. The guy behind me said, "Luke is a god."

6. Jordan's songs

My boyfriend, Jordan, constantly cracks me up with his witty jokes, but sometimes he is the funniest when he doesn't even mean to. Like the time I was waiting on him to get something from his room and he walked up the stairs softly singing "Black sheep, black sheep, have you any wool? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes I do."

7. Tonya?

I am, again, minding my own business in the bathroom, when a lady walks in. The door closes behind her, I cough and she walks in front of my bathroom stall. Then...

Lady: "Hey, is that Tonya in there?"

Me: *silent, noticing it is only her and me in the bathroom.*

Lady: "Tonya, how are you?" "Tonya?"

Then, she walked out.

8. Robin Williams

Two ladies where discussing Jumanji and one of them said, "Oh, yeah. That Williams guy is in it."

9. Grandma, its a joke

*National Geographic commercial for wildcats plays*

Me: "I am a wildcat."

Grandma: *from another room, quietly* I will tame her down. I'll take her car keys.

10. Vending machine fail

The vending machine kept spitting out wrong drinks and a girl holding a diet Dr. Pepper says, "Ugh, I lost a dollar and all it gave me was a diet Dr. Pepper. I wanted a normal one."

I am standing on the other side of the room holding three diet Mountain Dews when all I wanted was a Pepsi.