10 Hilarious Texts From My Disabled Aunt And What They Really Mean

10 Hilarious Texts From My Disabled Aunt And What They Really Mean

My aunt texts me every day. These are some of many highlights.

For those who don't know, my Aunt Wendy, the world's best and cutest person, is deaf and intellectually delayed. I've adored her since I was born, and she's lived with my parents for the past several years. Now that I'm away at a college in another state, we naturally miss each other a lot. This leads to her sending me multiple texts each and every day, and us Skyping religiously every three days.

It's also important to note that she's a terrible typer and speller and her misuse of emojis is well-known and hilarious. As a result, I have a plethora of hilarious screenshots saved on my computer of times when Wendy's texts were at their best. These are some of those screenshots and what they really mean.

1. "Shw me"

Translation: "Did you get the mail I sent?"

"Show me" (a.k.a. "Prove it, you liar. I need photographic proof")

2. "Iam spiepe gvfe"

First of all, this is some super lazy typing, even for Wendy. She put it in less than no effort on this spelling.

Rough Translation: "Annie, I am giving you something special" (spoiler alert: it was mail)

3. "Bedbug that but"

This one starts off fairly standard. She's asking for the thousandth time (that day) whether I have sent her some mail yet. The perplexing final message is one of several examples of Wendy using her voice to text feature, yelling incoherent deaf woman sounds meaning something along the lines of "I love you" and then deciding that "Bedbug that but" was close enough to her intended message to send anyways.

4. "Fish and dog pary friends baktball food"

This one arrived immediately after she left from a weekend visiting me in Minneapolis. Note: "baktball" was actually a football game. Sports are not her thing.

Translation: "I visited with you." and then when I asked her favorite things we did, a straightforward list; "Fish and dog party friends basketball food."

5. "Yes"

Wendy often texts just the word "cute" with no clear reasoning. Every time I reply with, "You are cute!"

She always responds "yes." (so humble) She doesn't always add the sad cat emoji and a "Hi baby + super lifelike baby emoji." Really stepped this one up a notch.

6. "Fold and [old fashioned video camera emoji]"

One of Wendy's favorite chores is the beloved folding of socks. She spends several hours each week distractedly folding socks on her bedroom floor while also watching a movie and checking her iPad for texts. 70% of the socks she folds end up mismatched. I caught her at one of these moments in this texting convo.

Translation: "Folding socks and watching a movie" (apparently her iPad has learned that she talks about movies now and suggests this emoji for her to use. There's no way she would've found that one on her own.)

7. "Musey"

Wendy is obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She also has no idea whatsoever how to spell his name. Last fall our family went on a vacation to Disney World with Wendy for her to meet him in person. This conversation occurred just days before we met up in Florida.

Translation: "Mickey Mouse" (but spelled so badly that autocorrect couldn't even help at all)

8. "Will tallk soon"

This series of messages came in less than 30 seconds after we hung up on one of our video chats. Wendy believes wholeheartedly that the purple devil emoji is a happy cat. It's one of her very favorites. (she has a pillow of it on her bed) The pig is a total wildcard. Not sure if I should laugh or be offended.

9. "The boob boob boob"

Again, messages sent directly after a video call. This is the all-time best example of Wendy using voice to text.

Translation: "The movie (video call) was fun with you and Nate (my boyfriend, who she consistently calls note)" Then she yells into her microphone, leaving me to ponder and laugh over "the boob boob boob" (which if you've heard Wendy say I love you or make her noises of adoration is actually pretty darn accurate).

10. "Did done [checkmark emoji]"

This one comes from a group message between my mom, Wendy, and me, one that Wend also frequently posts in. In this instance she was late to take her nightly shower, but was obsessively still texting me. After being told several times (in person) to get it done, my mom messaged her on the group. 45 minutes later, this is the sassy punk's reply.

Translated: "I did it. I'm done." (and of course the double use of the sassy checkmark emoji. No idea where she found that one.)

So, this is life with Wendy. This is the woman who drives everyone crazy with her constant and obsessive texting, but who everyone adores. I mean, how couldn't we? Her texts are so classic.

And if anyone's wondering, this is the mail I receive from Wendy each week. Covered in stickers and with notes that are basically incomprehensible to anyone but me. That is true love, friends.

Cover Image Credit: Kelly Klein

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Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

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26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

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30. Curious

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Cover Image Credit: Favim

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What It Is Really Like Having Sisters Close To Your Age

While having siblings close to your age is pretty amazing, there can be a lot of issues that can come with it.


I come from a family of 5 people and 1 dog. I have 2 sisters, Grace and Caroline. We are all pretty close in age, Caroline being the youngest and 3 years younger than me.

My sisters and I share a bond like no one else, no one can replicate it. When you have siblings close to your age you have built-in best friends, and since they are around your age you have the same interest, or at least, enough so that you can do things that other siblings cannot. Examples of this would be seeing R-Rated movies and going to the mall without too much complaining, along with being able to shop in the same stores or even share clothes. Grace and I sometimes even split the cost of a shirt we both like.

We even overlap friend groups! Which is not much of a problem for us, Grace and I are both in music programs which overlap enough for us to have the same friends, which is great for when one of us has a sleepover, the other can join in on the fun. Caroline, however, even though she is seen as the sporty one of the 3 of us, she still has a lot of friends who have similar interests as Grace or I, giving us a lot of the same friends. It's nice not to be considered the "cool older sister", I am just like the rest of them.

While we do fight a lot, we make up really quickly, because most issues we have are stupid sibling fights: who gets the T.V., what to have for dinner, what movie to see. But it is always fun because there are 3 of us, which means majority rules, something we tend to go by most of the time depending on the situation.

Having 3 teenagers in the house can be a handful for our parents though, when you have three teenage girls going through puberty at relatively the same time, it can be grueling, especially when you are all on your period at the same time.. (yes, that has happened before) (and yes, it sucks). While I am on the topic, let's say a prayer and a thank you to my dad for dealing with 5 girls (including the dog, obviously) because he does a pretty damn good job at dealing with all of us.

When we were younger, we always had a play date even when one was canceled. We all made up songs and dances and would perform them for our parents. We even had a band called The Halsey Sisters (AKA the female version of The Jonas Brothers) where we had a hit song called "We Got The Heart and Soul". It was a hell of a time. Let's just say the music video for that song is, interesting to say the least.

At the end of the day, I wouldn't switch my sisters for anything in the world, they are my rocks, and I wouldn't want it any other way, Grace, Caroline, keep doing what you're doing, because you're pretty damn awesome.

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