It was freshman year and boredom had struck hard. Out of desperation I googled, “Things To Do In Xenia,” since I’d already given up on Cedarville itself. The results were...confusing:
A sea monster. Seriously? My college years were doomed for sure. Until, with a little help from my friends, I realized the amount of potential this place actually had.
Three and a half years later I present to you, 10 Harmless Shenanigans For The Average Cedarville Student:
1. Slingshot marshmallows and pizza crusts at unsuspecting chucks-goers.
Warning: do not use apples.
2. Take a final exam as a fictional character for a class you're not in
(http://bereansatthegate.com/ron-swanson-took-my-politics-class/).
3. Order an ice-cream cone in the McDonald's or Chick-fil-A drive-thru and eat said cone from employee's hand.
4. Sit in front of Chucks and play your guitar for extra scans.
5. Put a spin on Basketball's theme nights. Ex) "80's Night."
6. "Pimp My Bike"
Upgrade a friend's ride with glitter, pompoms, and rhinestones!
7. Dress up as old British men, talk in accents, and go putt-putting at Young's.
Maybe milk a cow while you're there.
8. Kidnap your friends’ loved ones and demand ransom.
Unfortunately, I was the victim in this case and have the kind of friends who follow through with their threats. #RIPSammyTriscuit&Coney
(Don't worry, there was payback.)
9. Steal your friends' stuff and send it back to them through campus mail.
Toothbrushes, staplers, a sock - think weird.
10. Bring your pet to class.
These are but 10 things to satisfy your thirst for adventure without risking more than maybe your dignity. The possibilities are endless! All you need is a few friends and a healthy fear of being swallowed whole by endless fields of stale corn. Be safe, kids.
