Being a girl with thick hair is rough. From busted rubber bands, to product on product on product, oily hands that just beg to pat your flowing tresses every chance they get, and constantly hearing the phrase, 'ugh, I wish I had hair like yours.' And, sometimes, it makes you wonder, do people without thick hair know what a struggle it is to have thick hair? So my big haired ladies, if you want to take a moment to express your 'mhhhhms' and 'that's rights,' stay tuned, because here is a list of 10 things big haired girls experience on the daily.
1. Blocking the view
"Excuse me, but do you think you could, like, sit in the back row? I can't see around your, um, hair." Alright people, listen up. I feel for you, I really do, but a girls gotta get an education. I would love to appease you, and move to the back row, but homegirl needs to pay attention, and I need to sit in the front row to do so! I know craning your neck to see around my fro is a little uncomfortable for you, but try holding all this hair, in a bun, on top of your head for hours.
2. Having product in your hair
Let's get this straight, people. In the words of Solange, do not touch my hair. If you ask permission, I will more than likely say 'yeah, if you wanna get oil on your hands.' Which then you can proceed, or opt out on touching the curly wonderland atop my cranium. No, you cannot run your fingers through it, I will not let you pick it out, you may not braid it, and yes, there is coconut oil in it.
3. Not sharing ponytail holders
I know I have four rubber bands around my wrist. No, I can't share them because I just know I'm gonna get hella hot in about 15 seconds, and I'm going to need to put my hair up. I really wish I could share one with you, but one is for my top bun, the other is for the second, and I need the third and fourth in case the other ones break. It's a critical system, please don't make me deviate.
4. Long showers
Just so you know, if a girl with thick hair takes 45 minutes in the shower, she's not trying to spite you, or take all the hot water. This thick haired mama jama is just trying to condition, I promise. Because first, she needs to wet her hair down, which is basically a sponge due to her layers, then she has to apply shampoo, which takes about half the bottle, rinses it, and repeats about three or four times. Then she has to condition, which also takes about a cup of the product. She then combs through her knotted tresses at least two times before she rinses it all down the drain. And she hasn't even gotten to shave her legs yet. Also, she's probably singing Pocketful of Sunshine.
5. Prep time
Remember that long shower that was just explained in #4, that goes along with a daily regime that takes about an hour to four hours, depending on who you're dealing with. After her long shower, she then has to apply every oil she can find, along with some curl cream, a deep leave-in conditioner, and that's before she even picks up her beauty blender.
6. Fuzzy brush
"Hey, can I borrow your brush?" Says a relatively new friend. "Uh, yeah, if you don't mind that there's a rat's nest attached to mine," I say, as I frantically rip out as much hair as possible.
7. Hair bunnies
People shed. It's a fact. A good percentage of the hair that is on your head, will fall off. And where does it go? Rugs, pillows, knitted sweaters, the bottom of your socks, your roommates blanket, under your bed, your boyfriend's jacket, and everywhere else in between. Girls have a lot of hair, sorry not sorry.
8. Long Hair Appointments
After your hair has been cut, washed, colored, blow-dried, and styled, it's more than likely one in the afternoon. So, if I do have a Saturday hair appointment, you best believe I'm going to be early, because in order to have so semblance of a Saturday afternoon, I have to be in a chair at 9 a.m.
9. OMG Is That Your Natural Hair?
This is a question most big haired girls hear when they encounter an unfortunately forward elderly woman. And usually, our responses consist of: yes ma'am, my hair, in fact, does stand on end with little to no coaxing, it's just what it does. No ma'am I did not get a perm, I assure you this is my hair. Nope, not a wig either, sorry to disappoint. Yep, it's just how my momma made me! And, after a while, they smile and say, 'well aren't you just lucky.' And they are completely right.
10. Being outgoing
Most of the time, thick haired girls are the first thing others see. In walks a girl with an afro the size of another human, she's hard to miss. People talk about girls like this, her big personality, her bubbly attitude, and her big smile and wonder, how does she do it? Well, with hair like this, she needs a friendly disposition to match.
