Whenever people see me reading my latest bookstore come up, "The Lonely City" by Olivia Laing, they get this pitiful look on their face since they assume I must be quite lonely. Indeed, the subtitle on the cover is "Adventures in the art of being alone." But they're wrong.
When I was younger, I became panic-stricken by the idea of going out alone and thus wasted countless hours tricking friends into attending events they had no interest in and likewise tagging along to events I found incredibly boring to avoid being alone. I imagined that to outsiders my aloneness appeared as a glaring sign that nobody was willing to hang out with me. Moreover, I employed my paranoid mother's warnings of what happened to young girls who went out alone (90 percent chance of ending up murdered in a forest) as further justification of my phobia.
When I moved across the country to New York City, however, I suddenly knew nobody I could bribe into going out with me and my mother was nowhere to warn against exploring the city solo. Faced with the alternative of being self-incarcerated in my dorm room, I set off into The Big Apple. I soon discovered, contrary to my previously-held opinions, solo dates aren't just a consolation prize for all the single ladies: they're great whether you're single or in a relationship. Thus, here I share with you some of my favorite date ideas for when you're riding solo.
1. Journaling in a cafe.
This is how I got my start going out alone in the city. Cafes are safe, peaceful, and full of other people on an intimate date with their laptop. So grab a chai tea latte and poppy-seed muffin at the counter, whip out your journal, and you're good to go for hours.
2. A trip to Chinatown.
From my experience, Chinatowns tend to be the least judgemental neighborhoods in town. With all the hustle and bustle on the streets, it's easy to get lost in the crowds -- and the excellent food. A few of my favorite eats when I go are soup dumplings, dim sum, and bubble tea.
3. A walking tour of the city.
If you're spontaneous, you'll find nothing more enjoyable than simply wandering the city streets with no direction. You'll likely end up at a way cooler place than if you had planned something out. If you want to feel like you're the lead in an indie film while you're at it, just pop in your headphones and put on the soundtrack of Submarine.
4. Netflix and actually chill.
You don't even need to leave the house to have a lit solo date. If you're feeling claustrophobic, head to the cinema (you can't even talk to your friends in the theater anyway), or go DIY and log into Netflix. No movie night is complete without some microwavable popcorn, or if you want to go gourmet, melt some caramel cubes and make caramel corn.
5. Your local sunday market.
Restaurants alone can be intimidating, but nobody will notice you're dateless in the chaos of the Sunday Market. This doesn't have to be confined to Sundays either; any food market will do. If you happen to be in New York, Smorgasburg is a must!
6. Shopping spree just for me.
Yes, having your friends to offer feedback on clothing pieces is helpful, but let's be honest -- their feedback is heavily optimistic. Better to go with your own judgment on if those pants make you look fat. To pull off this date idea, simply head to a shopping district, pack your credit card, and go wild.
7. Afternoon tea in the park.
You could really do any type of picnic in the park, but I'm currently writing from London and let me tell you: there is nothing most pleasant than afternoon tea. To quickly prepare it, pick up scones, jam, and a pastry of your choice at the supermarket, make some mini sandwiches (cream cheese and cucumber or smoked salmon are my personal faves), brew a pot of your favorite tea and pour it into a thermos with a shot of milk. Oh, and don't forget a cute tea pot and blanket to sit on!
8. A night at the theatre.
For some reason, this date idea gets the most backlash. Indeed, whenever I tell my friends I went to the opera or a Broadway show alone, their tone switches to that of someone consoling someone whose dog just had to be put down. But hey, there’s nothing worse than spending your week's salary on a production your friend wanted to see. And yes, still get dressed up -- you just might meet someone else there alone!
9. Mani or massage.
If you have extra cash to blow, this is for you. Trust me -- the last thing you'll be thinking about during the massage or manicure is that you're alone.
10. A bookstore outing.
If you’re one of those people who can stay in a bookstore for hours, you'll love this. You no longer have to feel rushed to pick a book -- you can peruse the isles as long as you want without worrying about anyone else getting bored. Once you pick out a book, head to a park or café and dive in!
