It's hard to feel the power, presence and prowess that stems from Olivia Pope. She excites and motivates women everywhere to be a better version of themselves. So here are a few inspiring quotes from the poster woman for girl power, herself.
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4) “I’m never out of options.”
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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Entertainment
25 Songs To Add To Your January Playlist That'll Remind Us Of Simpler Times
Hits from the sixties until today for all your jamming purposes.
18 January
66076
Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom on Pexels
Here are 25 iconic songs from the past 50+ years.
<h2>2020-Present:</h2><h3>1. "drivers license" — Olivia Rodrigo (2021)</h3><p>If you haven't at least heard about this song I'm worried about you.</p><h3>2. "Afterglow" — Ed Sheeran (2020)</h3><h3>3. "Free Woman" — Lady Gaga (2020)</h3><h2>2010-2019:</h2><h3>4. "In My Blood" — Shawn Mendes (2018)</h3><h3>5. "Pierre" — Ryn Weaver (2015)</h3><p>Some recent TikToks have helped this song gain some very well-deserved recognition.</p><h3>6. "Somebody That I Used to Know" — Gotye (2011)</h3><h2><br>2000s:</h2><h3>7. "So What" — P!nk (2008)</h3><p>This is such a hype song that never gets old.</p><h3>8. "1985" — Bowling For Soup (2004)</h3><h3>9. "Where Is The Love?" — The Black Eyed Peas (2003)</h3><h2><br>1990s:<br></h2><p>OK, people in the 90s must have been thriving, because these are some of my favorite bops of all time.</p><h3>10. "Closing Time — Semisonic (1998)</h3><h3>11. "Long Day" — Matchbox Twenty (1996)</h3><h3>12. "Mr. Jones" — Counting Crows (1993)</h3><h2><br>1980s:</h2><p>My previous statement regarding the 90s is just as relevant when looking at some of the most iconic 80s songs.</p><h3>13. "We Didn't Start the Fire" — Billy Joel (1989)</h3><h3>14. "Stand" — R.E.M. (1988)</h3><h3>15. "Eye of the Tiger" — Survivor (1982)</h3><h3>16. "Hungry Like the Wolf" — Duran Duran (1982)</h3><h3>17. "Down Under" — Men at Work (1981)</h3><h2><br>1970s:</h2><h3>18. "September" — Earth, Wind & Fire (1978)</h3><h3>19. "Second Hand News" — Fleetwood Mac (1977)</h3><h3>20. "Hotel California" —The Eagles, (1976)</h3><h3>21. "American Girl" — Tom Petty (1976)</h3><h3>22. "Big Yellow Taxi" — Joni Mitchell (1970)</h3><p>This song just makes you feel like everything is going to be OK!</p><h2><br>1960s:</h2><h3>23. "Here Comes The Sun" — The Beatles (1969)</h3><p>The nine-year-old version of myself really rocked out to The Beatles, and I am pleased to say that I have not lost that spark in my life.</p><p><div id="div-gpt-2649929618-content-ad" class="ad"><script>
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</div></p><h3>24. "Build Me Up Buttercup" — The Foundations (1967)</h3><h3>25. "Wouldn't It Be Nice" — The Beach Boys (1966)</h3><p><br></p>
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<a href="https://www.theodysseyonline.com/odyssey-template-ipod-playlist" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwMTE1Ny9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NzE3Njg4N30.APzFHbgOfBVA68e6HcExWmIp3mH6RSknIkrKtJlIn18/img.png?width=980" id="a13cf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="c8d68aba832d2ffed7fb317330babec0" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="900" data-height="300"></a>
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Health and Wellness
I Adopted An Emotional Support Animal, And It's The Best Decision I've Ever Made For My Mental Health
Having an animal around can do more for you than just keep you company.
18 January
36192
Alexis Hoffman
Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we all know that cutting out social interaction has taken its toll.
<p><strong></strong> For me, like many others, spending so much time cooped up inside, by myself, while at school has led to feeling isolated, lonely, and even more anxious than normal. </p><p><strong>I've always had cats. At my home, we have seven cats that never fail to distract me from everything and anything.</strong></p><p><strong></strong> When coming to campus, I realized just how much I missed having them around. I also realized just how much I depended on them to help make me feel better while in lockdown. </p><p><strong>At the end of last semester, I decided it would be a good idea to get an emotional support animal.</strong> </p><p><div id="div-gpt-2649983978-content-ad" class="ad"><script>
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</div></p><p>What is an Emotional Support Animal? It's a pet that provides<a href="https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/news/everything-about-emotional-support-animals/" target="_blank"> emotional support</a> and comfort to its owner on a daily basis. Being that I have diagnosed with ADHD, and how I'd made it clear to my doctor how much I relied on my pets for emotional comfort, I started the process of searching for a kitten and filling out the paperwork. By Thanksgiving break, I found the perfect kitten, a Scottish-fold munchkin who I named Millie. I picked her up when I returned home for Christmas break. </p><p><strong>Since then, having Millie around has helped ease my anxiety and even focus more during virtual classes.</strong> </p><p>Not only is she the cutest thing I've ever seen, but having her around has also given me something to take care of that can help get my mind off the stress of being in college. She's also great company since I spend the majority of my time in my dorm staring at a computer screen. I've felt generally more positive since she's been around. </p><p><strong>My dorm doesn't feel so empty anymore.</strong> </p><p>Millie has even helped me focus on my school work. She sits on my lap while I'm doing homework, which has helped me be able to actually get things done. If I ever need a break, I just pet her a few times, and I'm able to get right back to work. She's like this little ray of sunshine. Also, she's helped me maintain a schedule. I know I have to get up to feed her and give her water every morning around the same time. I don't just sit in bed all day, knowingly procrastinating tasks that I have to complete. She keeps me company while I do those tasks a lot of the time. </p><p><strong>If you're struggling with mental health, an emotional support animal may be an option that could help your situation.</strong> </p><p>Of course, talk to your doctor first. I can say, after having her around for a little over a month now, that getting her was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Of course, the semester has just started, but I feel like Millie is going to improve my well-being. </p>
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Health and Wellness
I Asked Instagram How 2020 Was, And Maybe It Wasn't The Worst Year Ever
2020 is a year to remember but it's not as bad as we made it out to be.
18 January
23976
Photo by Ashkan Forouzani on Unsplash
It's finally 2021 and we're honestly all just happy that 2020 is over. I decided to ask my Instagram followers how they felt about 2020 and the results were a little more mixed up than expected.
<h2>1. How did COVID-19 impact your mental health?</h2><p>Out of the 16 results, the majority, nine said their mental health was not affected as much whereas seven said their mental health was affected a lot. The majority of the comments indicated some sort of helplessness and guilt that they weren't able to be anything to help in such terrible circumstances leading to so many deaths especially with many people not complying with these guidelines. Anxiety levels and loneliness also rose because of the inability to have human interactions and everyone essentially having no social life.</p><p><div id="div-gpt-2649994111-content-ad" class="ad"><script>
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</div></p><h2>2. What did quarantine teach you?</h2><p>During quarantine, I was going out of my mind finding something to do!! I know the rest of my peers have had the same issues as well. It was less about being alone but more about missing the human contact we'd taken advantage of on a daily basis. It was very scary to have to deal with things that were completely out of our control. Not only, but we all had to start navigating online school which sounded very relaxed at first but ended up being a great hassle for us all as we all lost motivation to do the work assignment and to actually learn things as we did in a classroom setting. With this, we learned to actually put effort into everything we do and not to take things for granted as well as focusing on our own wellbeing more.</p><h2>3. How has COVID-19 impacted your plans for this year?</h2><p>We all definitely had big plans for the start of the decade and with the arrival of COVID-19 these plans were halted before we had a chance to get started on them. For me personally, it impacted my decision about which college to attend as dorming would be a great issue during COVID as did some of my friends. We were also unable to celebrate major events like birthdays and especially graduation. My fellow 2020 high school graduates and I were extremely upset about losing this moment as well as the senior activities we waited 12 years for. This made saying goodbye and keeping in touch that much harder as we lacked the ability to keep a deep relationship. Additionally, one major thing we all missed out on was traveling. It's always an exciting thing to visit a new place but in 2020 that was a really big reach especially with the travel restrictions, it would be better and safer to stay home.</p><h2>4. What is the first thing you would do once COVID-19 is over?</h2><p>At this point, we forgot what it's like to have lived in a COVID-free world. Walking out the door without our masks seems absurd and like we're missing something. We all dream about what we can finally do after COVID ends. First things first, the ability to breathe fresh air without a mask is something we are all looking forward to. This way, we can actually enjoy the fresh air hopefully with a group of friends and be able to take public transportation to explore as well as being able to fly and travel outside of the same places we've been going to these last few months.</p><h2>5. What do you think about the production of the vaccine?</h2><p>The production of the COVID vaccine came extremely fast in comparison to the assumptions and time frame we all had in mind. At first glance, it seems as if the vaccine was being pushed too much, and not enough testing was done. It might be giving us false hope that it will soon be ready. It makes sense that we are all so skeptical about it, but at the same time, we're glad it came so quick which will allow us to hopefully resume normalcy soon. </p><p>The long-awaited 2021 is finally here and we're all just hoping for the best and the ability to have more in-person events such as going back on campus and social events to meet new people. </p>
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Entertainment
11 Quotes From Matthew McConaughey's New Book 'Greenlights' That Will Help You Find Your Frequency In 2021
Alright, alright, alright, it’s time to get relative.
16 January
8001
Ever since I watched "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days," I've been a major Matthew McConaughey fan. I've seen most of his movies, and I definitely got way too excited when he finally made an Instagram! So when he announced he would be releasing a memoir titled "Greenlights," I knew I absolutely had to get my hands on this book. And so did the rest of the world, as the book began to flood social media.
Truthfully, I would much rather read a fiction book and dive into another world than read a nonfiction book - even if it is one of my favorite celebrities. But I had a feeling this book wouldn't disappoint or bore.
<p>So I not only ordered it, but I went to one of his Zoom book tour events to hype myself up for it even more. I waited about a week before finally getting it in the mail, and when I started reading it, I literally could not put it down.</p><p>I've never read a nonfiction book that had the same effect on me as a fiction book, but McConaughey's exciting life and adventures, optimistic outlook, and determination were inspiring, intriguing, and relatable. I found myself writing down quote after quote after quote in one of my favorite book apps, learning so many lessons and ready to go on so many new adventures. Reading his book really was like being transported to another world. I often wondered if he was living on the same planet as me with all of his risk-taking, experiences, and adventures, which inspired me to make my New Year's resolution of the adventurous spirit. </p><p>At the end of the day, McConaughey's book is all about being relative and finding your frequency, and as the beginning of 2021 begins to round out, I feel like I have started to do just that. I feel like I have a clear idea of my goals and my journey, but my clearest idea yet is that I want to be guided down the path that life - that God - takes me down. To relinquish some of the control I grip so tightly to and to just start "livin." I feel more relative with this world, and with my life, than I did this time last year. And I am almost certain it is because "Greenlights" has helped me to discover my frequency. Hopefully the quotes that have made the biggest impact on my mindset and outlook can help to revolutionize your 2021, as well.</p><p><div class="powrload_9edb92"></div>
<div class="rebellt-item col1" id="rebelltitem1" data-id="1" data-reload-ads="false" data-is-image="False" data-href="https://www.theodysseyonline.com/matthew-mcconaughey-greenlights-quotes/1-sometimes-which-choice-you-make-is-not-as-important-as-making-a-choice-and-committing-to-it" data-basename="1-sometimes-which-choice-you-make-is-not-as-important-as-making-a-choice-and-committing-to-it" data-post-id="2649962483" data-published-at="1610830757" data-use-pagination="False">
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1. "Sometimes which choice you make is not as important as making a choice and committing to it."
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<p>This really hit home with me. I've always been such an indecisive person, and I feel like my struggle to find the "perfect choice" has held me back from experiencing the exciting adventure that the choice is presenting right in front of me. I've had a lot of big life choices come my way recently, but instead of sitting around wondering if they were the rights ones, I'm going to focus on committing to them. Giving them my all. Making them the very best choices instead of searching or waiting for another option.</p>
</div>
<div class="rebellt-item col1" id="rebelltitem2" data-id="2" data-reload-ads="false" data-is-image="False" data-href="https://www.theodysseyonline.com/matthew-mcconaughey-greenlights-quotes/2-life-is-not-a-popularity-contest-be-brave-take-the-hill-but-first-answer-the-question-what-is-my-hill" data-basename="2-life-is-not-a-popularity-contest-be-brave-take-the-hill-but-first-answer-the-question-what-is-my-hill" data-post-id="2649962483" data-published-at="1610830757" data-use-pagination="False">
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2. "Life is not a popularity contest. Be brave, take the hill, but first, answer the question, 'What is my hill?'"
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<p>In our society, we are constantly worried about what others think of us. I've fallen for this trope one too many times. But in reality, life itself is not a popularity contest. Your life is just that - YOUR life. No one else's. Just because you're popular to someone in one moment, doesn't mean you will be in the next. This quote reminds me to live my life for me, but in that process, to not forget what I am living for. To not forget what drives me - and only me.<br></p>
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<div class="rebellt-item col1" id="rebelltitem3" data-id="3" data-reload-ads="false" data-is-image="False" data-href="https://www.theodysseyonline.com/matthew-mcconaughey-greenlights-quotes/3-it-is-not-about-win-or-lose-it-is-about-do-you-accept-the-challenge-when-you-did-that-you-already-won" data-basename="3-it-is-not-about-win-or-lose-it-is-about-do-you-accept-the-challenge-when-you-did-that-you-already-won" data-post-id="2649962483" data-published-at="1610830757" data-use-pagination="False">
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3. "It is not about win or lose, it is about do you accept the challenge. When you did that, you already won."
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<p>I loved this story, and I especially loved this quote from one of the men McConaughey was traveling around Africa with. As a competitive perfectionist at heart, I always want to win. It runs through my blood, but unfortunately, it makes failure much harder. This quote has inspired me to shift my mindset, to feel like a winner for simply taking the challenge on, no matter the outcome.</p>
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<div class="rebellt-item col1" id="rebelltitem4" data-id="4" data-reload-ads="true" data-is-image="False" data-href="https://www.theodysseyonline.com/matthew-mcconaughey-greenlights-quotes/4-i-am-good-at-what-i-love-i-dont-love-all-that-im-good-at" data-basename="4-i-am-good-at-what-i-love-i-dont-love-all-that-im-good-at" data-post-id="2649962483" data-published-at="1610830757" data-use-pagination="False">
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4. "I am good at what I love, I don't love all that I'm good at."
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<p>I related to this a lot. My work, whether it's writing or related to my major, is my passion. I love it, and I think I'm at least halfway decent at it. I believe my abilities and my passion intertwine, that my skills have improved because of my dedication. But there are definitely other things that I'm good at it, or have been throughout my life, that I just did not enjoy doing. I think it's important we focus on our passions and on the things we love - there's no point wasting time on something that makes us unhappy just because we are "good" at it.</p>
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<div class="rebellt-item col1" id="rebelltitem5" data-id="5" data-reload-ads="false" data-is-image="False" data-href="https://www.theodysseyonline.com/matthew-mcconaughey-greenlights-quotes/5-sometimes-we-have-to-leave-what-we-know-to-find-out-what-we-know" data-basename="5-sometimes-we-have-to-leave-what-we-know-to-find-out-what-we-know" data-post-id="2649962483" data-published-at="1610830757" data-use-pagination="False">
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5. "Sometimes we have to leave what we know to find out what we know."
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<p>Wow - POWERFUL. I felt like this quote was speaking to past, present, and future me. When I left for college, I was terrified. The idea scared the living daylights out of me, but I have discovered more about myself in the last few years than in any other chapter of my life. Maybe some of it I already knew about myself and the world, but it took leaving everything I consciously knew to open my eyes to these truths. And I was so amazed by what I found that I traveled to Europe to intern for an entire summer, once again leaving everything I knew. And now, I'm about to head off on another far away adventure. Every time I've been terrified, but every time I've come back to what I know and love eager to discover even more. </p>
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<div class="rebellt-item col1" id="rebelltitem6" data-id="6" data-reload-ads="false" data-is-image="False" data-href="https://www.theodysseyonline.com/matthew-mcconaughey-greenlights-quotes/6-its-really-the-secret-to-why-austin-is-so-cool-all-you-have-to-be-in-austin-is-you-and-austin-appreciates-it-when-you-are" data-basename="6-its-really-the-secret-to-why-austin-is-so-cool-all-you-have-to-be-in-austin-is-you-and-austin-appreciates-it-when-you-are" data-post-id="2649962483" data-published-at="1610830757" data-use-pagination="False">
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6. "It's really the secret to why Austin is so cool; all you have to be in Austin is you, and Austin appreciates it when you are."
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<p>So what is my next adventure to discover more of what I already know? Austin, Texas. I landed a job in the great state of Texas post-graduation, and the idea of moving so far away from what I know and am comfortable with to a city I have never been before has scared me since I accepted the job. But reading this book and seeing this quote was like a personal affirmation - Austin is a great place to build a foundation for my life; it's a place you can be yourself, a place you can find your frequency. This quote helped me get relative and realize I am going on this adventure whether it terrifies me or not. So I better shift my mindset away from fear and towards excitement.</p>
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<div class="rebellt-item col1" id="rebelltitem7" data-id="7" data-reload-ads="false" data-is-image="False" data-href="https://www.theodysseyonline.com/matthew-mcconaughey-greenlights-quotes/7-i-think-thats-what-we-all-want-to-believe-and-be-believed-in-we-must-earn-belief-in-ourselves-first-then-for-each-other-earn-it-with-you-then-earn-it-with-me-then-we-earn-it-for-we" data-basename="7-i-think-thats-what-we-all-want-to-believe-and-be-believed-in-we-must-earn-belief-in-ourselves-first-then-for-each-other-earn-it-with-you-then-earn-it-with-me-then-we-earn-it-for-we" data-post-id="2649962483" data-published-at="1610830757" data-use-pagination="False">
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7. "I think that's what we all want. To believe and be believed in. We must earn belief in ourselves first, then for each other. Earn it with you, then earn it with me, then we earn it for we."
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<p>In a world where the need for validation reigns supreme, this is a great reminder that we must believe in ourselves if we ever hope to have others believe in us. Once we believe in ourselves and are shining with our own confidence, we can believe in each other. We won't need the validation; it will just come naturally.</p>
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<div class="rebellt-item col1" id="rebelltitem8" data-id="8" data-reload-ads="false" data-is-image="False" data-href="https://www.theodysseyonline.com/matthew-mcconaughey-greenlights-quotes/8-it-was-a-crisis-i-just-didnt-give-the-crisis-credit-i-treaded-water-until-i-crossed-the-finish-line" data-basename="8-it-was-a-crisis-i-just-didnt-give-the-crisis-credit-i-treaded-water-until-i-crossed-the-finish-line" data-post-id="2649962483" data-published-at="1610830757" data-use-pagination="False">
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8. "It was a crisis. I just didn't give the crisis credit. I treaded water until I crossed the finish line."
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<p>Talk about a relative quote - this one is a kicker, for sure! Whether it's in my own personal life or in society as a whole, it seems like absolutely everything is a crisis. A meltdown. A ruining. It's hard when something goes wrong or changes to not feel like we are going down. But it's about time we stop giving these crises, whether they are real or overblown, in our personal lives or societal, so much credit. I'm ready to start pushing forward, trampling them on the way to my goals as if they aren't there. I'm ready to stop worrying about the future and to start focusing on the present.</p>
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<div class="rebellt-item col1" id="rebelltitem9" data-id="9" data-reload-ads="false" data-is-image="False" data-href="https://www.theodysseyonline.com/matthew-mcconaughey-greenlights-quotes/9-we-are-going-to-make-mistakes-own-them-make-amends-and-move-on" data-basename="9-we-are-going-to-make-mistakes-own-them-make-amends-and-move-on" data-post-id="2649962483" data-published-at="1610830757" data-use-pagination="False">
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9. "We are going to make mistakes - own them, make amends, and move on."
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<p>As a bonafide perfectionist, mistakes are hard to handle. I regret them, feel guilty for them. Whether it wasn't saying the right thing in the moment or saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, whether it was for getting a B in a class or botching a work-related task, it's hard to accept mistakes that I make with myself and others. But ever since reading this quote, I made one of my many 2021 missions to own my mistakes and move on from them. As McConaughey says, "turn the page."</p>
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<div class="rebellt-item col1" id="rebelltitem10" data-id="10" data-reload-ads="false" data-is-image="False" data-href="https://www.theodysseyonline.com/matthew-mcconaughey-greenlights-quotes/10-the-arrow-doesnt-seek-the-target-the-target-draws-the-arrow-we-must-be-aware-of-what-we-attract-in-life-because-it-is-no-accident-or-coincidence-the-spider-waits-in-his-web-for-dinner-to-come-yes-w" data-basename="10-the-arrow-doesnt-seek-the-target-the-target-draws-the-arrow-we-must-be-aware-of-what-we-attract-in-life-because-it-is-no-accident-or-coincidence-the-spider-waits-in-his-web-for-dinner-to-come-yes-w" data-post-id="2649962483" data-published-at="1610830757" data-use-pagination="False">
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10. "The arrow doesn't seek the target, the target draws the arrow. We must be aware of what we attract in life because it is no accident or coincidence. The spider waits in his web for dinner to come. Yes, we must choose what we want, seek it out, cast our lines in the water, but sometimes we don't need to make things happen. Our souls are infinitely magnetic."
</h2>
<p>As someone longing for a relationship after enjoying some independent, single years, this quote (or rather, passage) brought me so much peace. Instead of being constantly on the search for a boyfriend, like McConaughey was on the search for a wife, I'm ready to let the target draw the arrow. When my soul finds its force, the magnets will collide, no doubt about it. It's something that will happen when I stop trying to make it happen.</p><p>I do love how he mentions that we must still put in effort, still work hard, in our lives. We can't sit around and expect the world to wait on us hand and foot, but we also must accept that some things (like love) are simply out of our control. It's something we can't just make happen. It's something that will fall into place at the right time.</p>
</div>
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<h2 data-role="headline">
11. "The box office failures didn't dampen my love of acting. If anything they made me more feverishly committed to my craft."
</h2>
<p>FAILURES DO NOT DEFINE YOU. (Sorry, yelling that one at myself.) But his experience definitely solidifies this truth - the movie failures do not make him a failed actor nor a failure as a person. Rather, failures should make us more determined and committed to our passion. And while at one point in my life I would've said failures are motivating because of my drive to turn them into successes, now I believe they're motivating because if I fail at doing something I loved - well, at least I loved it! Keep doing what you love and what you are passionate about, and don't let any kind of failure put a damper on it.</p>
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The Armie Hammer Scandal Discourse Is Kink Shaming And Harming Actual Victims
The rumors surrounding Armie Hammer has resulted in some very toxic and harmful discourse.
16 January
5895
Sex is something that occupies a very significant place in our lives. Even asexual people can have an active sex life. With the various types of people that comprise this world, it obviously results in various sexual interests. And unconventional people can engage in some pretty unconventional sex practices. Even the most conventional people on the surface might surprise us with their sexual fantasies.
<p>Armie Hammer's name has been <a href="https://www.glamour.com/story/why-is-armie-hammer-trending-on-twitter" target="_blank">floating around the internet</a> recently. Several screenshots of alleged direct messages were leaked by an anonymous user on Instagram. According to the user, these were screenshots of explicit sexual conversations with Hammer. They detailed various fantasies that were very extreme. The portions of the messages everyone is focusing on is when Hammer allegedly described rape and cannibalism fantasies.</p><p><div id="div-gpt-2649958877-content-ad" class="ad"><script>
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</div></p><p>Hammer has denied these screenshots are real. He has since dropped out of an upcoming romantic comedy with Jennifer Lopez, stating this isn't the right time for him to film a movie. More alleged screenshots were posted, where it appears the Instagram user admits they were fake. However, the user has since denied this and said their admission wasn't real.</p><p>Hammer's ex-girlfriend, Courtney Vucekovich, <a href="https://pagesix.com/2021/01/14/armie-hammers-ex-courtney-vucekovich-he-wanted-to-barbecue-and-eat-me/" target="_blank">has spoken out</a> since the alleged screenshots were posted. She claimed not to know if the messages were real, but said Hammer's sexual interests were in line with the messages. Vucekovich also claimed that Hammer was emotionally abusive and pained him as manipulative. She said the breakup was difficult to recover from and that she suffered PTSD from the relationship.</p><p>It's unclear as to whether Vucekovich is telling the truth or just capitalizing on a big story. What is clear, however, is that she is not accusing him of committing any crimes. The abuse she describes sounds like nothing more than a bad, toxic relationship. That doesn't mean these experiences didn't seriously affect her if true. But it doesn't make Armie Hammer a rapist or a criminal.</p><p>It's also worth noting that the alleged messages don't show any nonconsensual behavior either. Hammer hasn't been accused of sending these messages unsolicited. It sounds like nothing more than two consenting adults "sexting" or talking dirty. It sounds like things you say in the heat of the moment. In fact, <a href="https://twitter.com/tevinauguste/status/1348440437711892480" target="_blank">there's even leaked audio</a> of what sounds like Armie Hammer confirming just that. If this is just fantasy and nothing more, the collective outrage amounts to no more than kink-shaming.</p><p>People have sexual fantasies for very specific reasons. If you go to a sex therapist, you will find there is a root to your sexual thoughts, behaviors, and attractions. It doesn't matter how vanilla or kinky you are. A person's fantasy life is also very different from their reality. Just because someone has a particular fantasy, it doesn't mean they will act out said fantasy in real life. </p><p>Maybe someone went through a traumatic event in their past and their sexual fantasies are their only outlet. They shouldn't be judged for such fantasies, because that is invading their only way of working through their issues. Therefore, they might feel whatever permission and safety they had in their sexual realm is now taken away from them. Such unwelcome comments might make their situation worse.</p><p>So it's important to understand that while Hammer might be describing raping someone and eating their flesh, it's nothing more than role-play between two consenting adults. Sure, it's extreme. It might even be shocking. We may not understand it. But who are we to judge? Some are claiming that Hammer "liked" posts of BDSM porn on social media sites. So what? This is not the same thing as hurting, assaulting, or abusing someone.</p><p>When you read about the Armie Hammer story or listen to the way it's being talked about, it sounds like the public is treating this as another #MeToo story. Vucekovich's story has been picked up by several outlets, almost all of which use her quote about Hammer wanting to "barbeque and eat" her in the headline. In classic clickbait fashion, these sites make Hammer look like an actual cannibal. They completely ignore the context of dirty talk and sexual fantasy.</p><p>Even Hammer's own ex, Jessica Ciencin Henriquez, <a href="https://stylecaster.com/armie-hammer-ex-girlfriend-react-dms-scandal/" target="_blank">said in a tweet</a>, "If you are still questioning whether or not those Armie Hammer DMs are real (and they are) maybe you should start questioning why we live in a culture willing to give abusers the benefit of the doubt instead of victims."</p><p>This doesn't seem like a fair way to approach this story. There is no "victim" or "abuser" in those direct messages. Equating consensual roleplay with sexual assault is so dangerous. It's disrespectful to actual victims of such crimes. This is how the general public starts laughing off actual allegations. This is what leads to victims not wanting to come forward, fearing they won't be taken seriously. In order for rape to be taken seriously, we must be clear on what it is and what it isn't. </p><p>Based on what we currently know, it looks like Hammer is a target due to being a heterosexual man in Hollywood. There are no doubt, actual men, in Hollywood grossly abusing their power. However, the outrage culture has given birth to a zone where anybody can capitalize on it to push a story. Look at what happened to Aziz Ansari. A woman who went on <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/15/opinion/aziz-ansari-babe-sexual-harassment.html" target="_blank">nothing more than a bad date</a> with the actor told a detailed account of the evening, unfairly painting him as some perverted predator.</p><p>We need to think for ourselves and not blindly fall for an angle being pushed on us. It's so easy to fall into that trap with social media, but it's wrong. We also need to rid our society of its prudish nature. It's unhealthy, not only to adults who aren't hurting anybody but to actual victims of sex crimes. If we want to have a culture where victims can feel comfortable coming forward, conflating their experiences with consensual acts isn't helping.</p>
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The Top 10 'Sex and the City' Episodes You Need To Revisit Before The New Series
In anticipation for the upcoming series, "And Just Like That," here are the ten "Sex and the City" episodes you need to revisit.
15 January
3865
HBO
"Sex and the City" has become quite the franchise since its premiere in the late nineties. The series lasted six seasons and even produced two films. Fans of the show were anxiously awaiting a revival, even if their hopes seemed futile. Kim Cattrall, who plays Samantha Jones, recently spoke out saying she would not return to the show. Cattrall explained that she was never friends with her co-stars and even had a difficult relationship with Sarah Jessica Parker.
In the wake of Cattrall's revelation, rumors swirled the series would come back without her. On January 10, a new teaser was posted on social media for the new series, "And Just Like That." Now that a revival is officially confirmed, here are the ten "Sex and the City" episodes you need to revisit.
<p><div class="powrload_9edb92"></div>
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<h2 data-role="headline">
10. "The Turtle and the Hare"
</h2>
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<p>This season one episode was a perfect example of the series' boundary pushing subject matter. Sex toys are a more common occurrence in the bedroom than some people would think. But it's not every day you see them as a storyline in a television series. The girls talk Charlotte into buying a vibrator and pretty soon it becomes clear that she might have a problem.</p>
</div>
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<h2 data-role="headline">
9. "Ghost Town"
</h2>
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<p>Running into an ex is something most people have to deal with at some point. The series captured that moment in several instances, but this episode dealt with those emotions the best. Carrie attends the opening of Steve and Aidan's new bar and spends the entire episode freaking out about it. In the end, she's left with the realization that her feelings for Aidan are still very strong.</p>
</div>
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<h2 data-role="headline">
8. "The Perfect Present"
</h2>
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<p>Charlotte was always a character that seemed to be in love with love. However, when she met her divorce lawyer Harry, she began to feel the real thing. At first, it was hard to tell if her conversion to Judaism was simply out of a desire to get married. However, in this episode, her sincere connection to the faith is extremely apparent.</p>
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7. "All That Glitters"
</h2>
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<p>One of the great things about "Sex and the City" is its incredible portrayal of the fun nightlife in Manhattan. In this episode, the girls go to a gay club after realizing their lifestyles are becoming a bit too domesticated for their liking. This episode also features an early appearance from Australian actor and "Looking" star, Murray Bartlett.</p>
</div>
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<h2 data-role="headline">
6. "My Motherboard, My Self"
</h2>
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<p>When Miranda's mother dies unexpectedly of a heart attack, the rest of the girls rally to be with their grieving friend. While the episode is sad, it stays true to the tone of the show and includes some tasteful humor. This is one of those episodes that shows how strong the girls' bond and friendship is.</p>
</div>
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<h2 data-role="headline">
5. "Plus One is the Loneliest Number"
</h2>
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<p>In this episode, Carrie is getting ready to release a book of her various columns. For its release party, Carrie realizes she is without a plus one. She recruits Samantha, who isn't quite the life of the party following a bad chemical peel. What makes the episode, however, is the very last scene when Carrie is being driven home from the party. It just goes to show how sometimes a stranger can unexpectedly brighten our day (or night).</p>
</div>
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<h2 data-role="headline">
4. "Running with Scissors"
</h2>
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<p>Samantha's sexual escapades and confident personality are the comic relief of the series. That confidence, however, was replaced by a twinge of fear in this episode. While taking an HIV test, Samantha's fears are brilliantly depicted. It offers a relatability to the character and a necessary safe sex message. Not to mention one of the funniest scenes in the show's history.</p>
</div>
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3. "The Real Me"
</h2>
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<p>Carrie was no doubt the star of the show and women everywhere wanted to dress like her. So when she gets selected to walk the runway in a fashion show, her insecurities seem hard to understand at first. But this episode does a great job of showcasing such insecurities in a relatable way. When Carrie trips and falls on the runway, her embarrassment is clear. However, she gets up and keeps walking, while treated to a round of applause. The episode's message is best said by Carrie in the end. "When real people fall down in life, they get right back up and keep on walking."</p>
</div>
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2. "Sex and Another City"
</h2>
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<p>For a show which feels like a love letter to Manhattan, the L.A. episodes were surprisingly enjoyable. In this episode, the girls are enjoying their vacation in Los Angeles and Samantha unexpectedly meets her idol, Hugh Hefner. It results in the girls being invited to the Playboy Mansion and hilarity ensues, particularly when they get kicked out.</p>
</div>
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<h2 data-role="headline">
1. "Anchors Away"
</h2>
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<p>New York City isn't perfect. However, like any great love, it's unconditional. That couldn't be better depicted than in this episode. While Carrie is attempting to enjoy a day in the city, everything that could go wrong does. That night, the girls go to a party for the sailors, since it's Fleet Week. Towards the end of the episode, Carrie is talking to a sailor named Louis who begins bad-mouthing New York. As Carrie walks away, she narrates, "If Louis was right, and you only ever get one great love, than New York may just be mine. And I can't have nobody talking shit about my boyfriend." Amen!</p>
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My New Tattoo Reminds Me To Love Everyone With Intention—And Yes, That Includes Myself
I've realized that love has almost nothing to do with agreeing and almost everything to do with grace.
15 January
11086
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
I'm a big believer that everyone has a story.
<p>I'm a big believer that we all have the option to decide what that story looks like. I'm also a big believer that all too often, we act like we know the full stories of others when we don't. Whether it be someone in the grocery store line, someone at work, or someone in our 8 AM lecture, we often take the time to judge before we take the time to understand. We often think we're loving well when we're not. I set myself on a mission to change that.</p><p><strong>I've made it a goal to make my life look a whole lot more like love. </strong></p><p><strong></strong>I've realized that it's difficult to love if I don't take time to understand. I can't fully love someone's heart until I take time to understand someone's heart. I can't fully be there for someone unless I'm there for myself, too. I've realized that love has almost nothing to do with agreeing and almost everything to do with grace. I've also realized that I don't give myself the grace that I so freely give to others. I was interrupting the narrative of love in my own life without even realizing it.</p><p><div id="div-gpt-2649932281-content-ad" class="ad"><script>
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</div></p><p><strong>Growing up, I swore that I would never get a tattoo.</strong></p><p>As someone terrified of needles and someone overly concerned with pleasing others, it just didn't make sense. Starting college, the idea of getting a tattoo seemed a little more plausible, but it didn't seem likely. My mom had a running joke that I would get one letter tattooed and give up on my goal. To be honest, I thought I wouldn't do it either. It just didn't make sense.</p><p><strong>After some thinking, I realized that some of the best things in life don't quite make sense all the time. I decided to go for it.</strong></p><p>Gradually, I realized that getting a tattoo wouldn't just be a piece of art, but a reminder. It would be a reminder of something close to my heart, yet something that I too often forget. It would also be an exercise of feeling the fear and doing it anyway. It would be an exercise of making a plan and sticking to it. It would be an exercise in realizing what happens when I don't run away. It would be an exercise in doing something and not worrying too much about the opinions of others. To be honest, that last one absolutely terrified me.</p><p><strong>And so, I silenced my fears and got 'beloved' tattooed on my wrist to remind me that everyone is dearly loved—including myself.</strong></p><p>In the days leading up to the tattoo, I did a whole lot of soul-searching. I realized that it's hard for me to receive love without feeling like I've earned it. I've realized that all too often, I believe that I can be loved only if I can give something in return. I've realized how hard it can be for me to love myself. I've realized that I put so much effort into my work that I forget to be loved when I don't have anything to contribute. I've been a major perfectionist my entire life, and it's a daily struggle to take a step back and realize that I am still loved, even when I'm not perfect or don't measure up to my own expectations. When I thought about a word to summarize all my fears, worries, and hopes, I kept coming back to to one word: beloved. This little word reminds me of a whole lot of things.</p><p><strong>This little word reminds me of the power of the Gospel. This little word reminds me of the power of ultimate love.</strong></p><p>In the midst of my brokenness, sin, and unworthiness, Jesus still calls me 'beloved.' He calls me friend. There's nothing that I could do to make Him love me more, and nothing that I could do to make him love me less. I am dearly loved not because of who I am, but because of who He is. I am free to love because I understand the source of ultimate love.</p><p><strong>This little word is a reminder that I am loved, even when I can't do it all.</strong> </p><p>I am loved when I have nothing to bring to the table. I am loved, even when I don't understand. I am loved on the mountain and in the valley. I am dearly loved when I feel less than or worried or confused. I can rest in this truth each and every day.</p><p><strong>This little word is a reminder to show up, both for myself and others.</strong></p><p><strong></strong>It's a reminder to seek a love that is intentional, even when it's hard. It's a reminder to seek a love that is good. It's a reminder to forgive. It's a reminder to move forward. It's a reminder to live out a mission of love, even when it's hard.</p><p><strong>This little word is a reminder that my life should look a whole lot like love each day. </strong></p><p><strong></strong>I intentionally chose to tattoo 'beloved' on my wrist so that it can serve as a regular reminder. A quick glance at my wrist has already caused me to realize that the person who cuts me off in traffic is beloved. The person in front of me at the store is worthy of love. The person in my 8 AM lecture is beloved, and I owe it to them to take the time to get to know them. When I say that I want to get to know them, I want to really know them, even when it's hard. </p><p><strong>The person in the mirror is worthy of love, too.</strong> </p><p>That last one is probably one of the hardest, but one of the most important. Every morning when I wake up, I look at my wrist. I look at my messy hair, and I realize that I am loved. I look at my wrist, and I realize that the number on the scale has little to do with who I am as a person. I look at my wrist, and I realize that my heart is far more important than my appearance. I look at my wrist, and I realize that there's far better things to be than pretty.</p><p><strong>Here's to a 2021 of making this world look a lot more like love.</strong> </p><p>I will forever be a work in progress, but I'm filled with a whole lot of hope for what's to come. Here's to taking what's on my wrist and writing it on my heart, too. I know that we're not all tattoo enthusiasts, and that's OK. Regardless of our stance on tattoos, I hope we all have the courage to tattoo love on our hearts each and every day.</p><p><strong>Here's a reminder for you too, friends.</strong> </p><p>Remember that you are beloved. You are worthy of every good thing. You are enough. I promise.</p>
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27 Things To Carry In Your Purse, Because If 2020 Taught Us Anything, It's You Just Never Know
If you don't keep these 27 items In your purse, what's in there?
14 January
142652
Lum3n
Women are known to lug around heavy purses with unnecessary items inside. How many of these useful items do you keep in your own bag? We need to be prepared with a list of things to have with us whenever we leave the house again.
<h2>1. Money </h2><p>You never know when you will need some cash. Plus, it is always good to carry extra change for paying at parking meters.</p><h2>2. Lip balm </h2><p>We all need a lip balm in our purses that we will eventually lose and not finish. Has anyone ever finished a complete stick of ChapStick? Either way, you never know when you will need to use lip balm. </p><h2>3. Tide sticks</h2><p>Have you ever spilled something on your new blouse? Have you ever notice a spot on your clothes before an important presentation or interview? Carrying a Tide Stick can be handy during these situations. </p><p><div id="div-gpt-2649861359-content-ad" class="ad"><script>
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</div></p><h2>4. Hand sanitizer</h2><p>Now, more than ever before, you should carry some hand sanitizer with you. </p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQzMjI1Ni9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxODg3NjU5NH0.A7wwxv7j--FCj3QC8ICMtikCaR0NJTB4l9qHwHhXilw/img.jpg?width=980" id="b1741" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="d0d49fa8eb535fabfc9f0aab64cab212" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="867" data-height="1300">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels</small></p><h2>5. Extra hair things</h2><p>Like most girls I know, I tend to change my hairstyle at least three times a day. For this reason, it's helpful to have extra scrunchies and hair elastics with you when on the go. </p><h2>6. Umbrella</h2><p>The weather is so unpredictable. Need I say more? </p><h2>7. Healthy snack </h2><p>First of all, food is life. Second of all, having a snack in your bag can be a lifesaver if you are running late in the morning. </p><h2>8. Water bottle</h2><p>Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Filling up a water bottle is cheaper than buying them from local stores. </p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQzMjI1OS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NDQyOTUwN30.ook6JsjJhnpAyEbPOhX1_sheJyMXJzk-R8s3iYr_zPY/img.jpg?width=980" id="4eaaf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8c4d3ffae919f5064807cde308e9ae51" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="1880" data-height="1053">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Photo by Steve Johnson on Pexels</small></p><h2>9. Business cards</h2><p>You never know who you will meet. If you run into a job opportunity, it's always a good idea to have business cards handy. </p><h2>10. Gum & mints</h2><p>Who likes having smelly breath? Plus, chewing gum can help with people's anxiety. </p><h2>11. Medicine (Advil & Tums) </h2><p>Be prepared for any sickness that comes your way!</p><h2>12. Headphones</h2><p>If you have a free moment, why wouldn't you listen to your favorite podcast or television show? </p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQzMjI1OC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1Njg2MzY2MH0.Vupdi226pfqCZaVmrDZ51E645AG56s9usmV5iN-yQAg/img.jpg?width=980" id="d6aea" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="17975678e582ac9c0dfed40fda731480" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="1733" data-height="1300">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Photo by Jess Bailey Design on Pexels</small></p><h2>13. A book </h2><p>While waiting at the doctor's office or a restaurant, whip out your favorite book! It's a great way to whack out a few chapters.</p><h2>14. Portable phone charger</h2><p>My phone always seems to drain so fast. If yours does the same, it's a good thing to carry to help the situation. </p><h2>15. Band-Aids</h2><p>Be prepared for any emergency. </p><h2>16. Sunglasses </h2><p>Sunny days allow you to bust out your fancy sunglasses and pretend you're in a music video monologue. </p><h2>17. Pen & note pad</h2><p>While phones are great for storing information, sometimes writing things allows you to remember information better. Moreover, if you carry your own pen, you won't have to use ones other people touch with their germs hands. </p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQzMjI2MS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyODM2NjU3OX0.lUpQ580KC-7kq_pPpzv-258ij38h3rR1PgJhPFpxc0E/img.jpg?width=980" id="9b67c" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="4385045df7b2e21d7aaeacef4fb6a26c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="867" data-height="1300">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels</small></p><h2>18. Makeup kit</h2><p>You never know when you'll need to touch up your look. </p><h2>19. A planner</h2><p>Life can be hard, but carrying a planner can simply your busy schedules. Sign me up for this solution for less stress. </p><h2>20. Pepper spray</h2><p>You can never be too safe. Pepper spray is a great item to carry around for self-defense. </p><h2>21. Hand lotion</h2><p>During the winter especially, hand lotion can be helpful to carry around. </p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQzMjI2My9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNDE0NDM2NH0.JTIGy7iIIHw7iQDdVG_-y6mn5RnpufN8N-tXSErw--c/img.jpg?width=980" id="613a6" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9177c4ec9b9f1e262a6b612cb8964288" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="868" data-height="1300">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Photo by Shiny Diamond on Pexels</small></p><h2>22. A Swiss Army knife</h2><p>You never know when you will need to open a package!</p><h2>23. Extra feminine products</h2><p>It's better to be safe than sorry.</p><h2>24. A portable manicure set</h2><p>Who would want to deal with a hangnail all day?</p><h2>25. A portable game </h2><p>Having a deck of cards or a portal game with you is a great way to pass the time while bored and waiting for an appointment. </p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQzMjI4NS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNDM2NjUyNH0.H3Jte3I7Z9mwN15KEoS0EZTBYovus9VSbQuTjyZ4vR4/img.jpg?width=980" id="cc87b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8a7d3ea1ba2cd9b974acfa0f7960dd5f" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="1880" data-height="1253">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">Photo by Madison Inouye on Pexels</small></p><h2>26. Kleenex</h2><p>Whether you have the sniffles or seasonal allergies, Kleenex packs are a good item to keep with you. </p><h2>27. Personal attack alarm</h2><p>Are you in a dangerous situation? Pull the personal attack alarm to draw people's attention to the situation. This is a great product to own for self-defense. </p>
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