No one--(I repeat)--no one, is a lover of dining hall food. Most of the time, it's greasy or messy, overcooked or overseasoned, underdone or hastily created, and sometimes all of the above. Somehow, even the easiest of meals becomes so unrecognizable that you have to ask yourself what on earth could've happened to make it so far gone (i.e.: a shard of aluminum foil in my pizza and a piece of chicken skin in my soup. I wish I were exaggerating.)
Hitting the salad bar every day gets a little old--so, whether you're a first-timer or a seasoned pro, here's 10 commandments to follow at the caf on campus. Read wisely and choose carefully out there in the big bad world of dining hall food (...you can do this):
1. Thou shall not eat the mystery meat.
This may be self-explanatory, but "Mystery"="Food Poisoning." Every time. No exceptions. This can never be overstated.
2. Thou shall not take up an entire booth to thyself.
...Or a 10-person table to two people. Don't be that guy.
3. Thou shall take multiple desserts.
Shortcake day? Treat yo self.
4. Thou shall not set thy expectations too high.
Think like Gordon Ramsay, but maybe don't act like Gordon Ramsay.
5. Thou shall use silverware and napkins.
Please. For the love of all things. Just get a bowl.
6. Thou shall not cut in line.
We're all hangry. No one needs that kind of negativity.
7. Thou shall prepare for massive overseasoning.
Even the mac & cheese will have pepper in it. Otherwise it'd probably taste like Q-Tips.
8. Thou shall not leave a mess for the staff to clean up.
There's a conveyer belt and napkins for a reason--have gratitude and don't forget to thank the people working for you!
9. Thou shall not mix all the sodas and juices together.
I watched someone mix orange juice and coke once and nearly had a stroke.
10. Thou shall be willing to get creative.
I.e. Make a pan flute out of vegetables^.
Or...Get two cookies and put some ice cream between them (automatic ice cream sandwich.) Put a scoop of vanilla bean in your root beer (root beer float). Using toppings from the salad bar to spruce up your sandwich. MacGyver your way to a better meal. You got this, kid.
