As you all know, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has spent the last two years under federal investigation over a private email server she was using for work matters while holding the office of Secretary of Defense. Recently the Director of the FBI ordered that the investigation to be closed with "no criminal charges." However, I disagree with the Directors claim that Clintons actions were not criminal. Therefore, I have put together a list of crimes far less pressing than compromising the nation's national defense, that have landed Americans with some time behind bars.
1. Possession of Spaghetti O’s
A woman was searched after being pulled over by a police officer because she carried a spoon covered in a “suspicious” residue, suspected to be methamphetamine. It was later concluded that the substance was Spaghetti O’s and the woman was released.
2. Flicking a cigarette on the ground
An officer in New Mexico watched a man have the audacity to throw his cigarette bud on the ground. He was given the option for cash bail out only if he agreed to go to a mental health facility. He respectfully declined.
3. Jaywalking
If you have ever crossed the road at a place that lacked a stop sign just know that you too could one day find yourself behind bars.
4. Cursing in Public
A man in North Carolina was arrested for dropping the F-bomb in public.
Who would have thought that when your mom washed your mouth out with soap when you were little, she was simply trying to save you from potential arrest.
5. "Possession of Jolly Ranchers"
One police officer was unfamiliar with the hard candy Jolly Ranchers. He arrested a couple for possession of “crystalline rocks of solid material.”
6. Throwing butter at someone
Roommate feuds can turn into sticky situations. Especially when it results in a butter fight, and a call to the local authorities.
7. Terrorizing shoppers with a light saber
This man took Star Wars a little too seriously. Unfortunately, his fellow shoppers at his local shopping mall did not find the game of make believe to be as entertaining as he did.
8. Eating a handful of marijuana
Whether you smoke it, or just chose to eat it by the handful, Marijuana is illegal in all forms.
9. Having an overdue library book.
This is not a drill. Turn. In. your. Books.
10. Farting at a police officer
While being patted down, this man let one slip. Unfortunately, the arresting officer didn’t let that slip, and the man was arrested.
