If there's one item that the world pretty much universally loves, it's chocolate. Chocolate is everywhere: cakes, pies, frosting, cookies, ice cream...even when you think something is chocolate free you're bound to discover that someone snuck some chocolate chips or candy bars or something in places they really don't seem necessary.

So, if you're one of those "insane" people who doesn't like chocolate and never has, these are the things you experience all the time, throughout your entire life. I confess: I am one of these people. I hate chocolate.

1. You don't typically eat dessert at birthday parties

In my experience, many people prefer chocolate cakes/cupcakes for birthday parties. Because, yeah, most people are obsessed with chocolate. It's a pretty rare and thrilling day when a party has non-chocolate-y desserts. However, when you grow up as the kid who doesn't like chocolate, at the very least, your immediate family knows and makes sure to have a small dessert ready for you.

2. People lose their minds when you tell them you don't like chocolate

"WHAT??! Are you serious?! Why? Like *all* chocolate....?? What about ice cream? Truffles? Dark chocolate??? Chocolate covered pretzels?? Strawberries? S'mores!!!?" At this time the person passes out from lack of oxygen and wakes up hoping it was all a bad dream. It's totally unfathomable for so many people that the chocolate world they live in might not be for everyone.

3. People constantly forget for the first year or so that you know them

I don't hold it against them, but after you tell a friend, acquaintance, relative or significant other that you don't like chocolate, chances are that they'll completely forget about that fact for approximately 6 months to 10 years. Then when you remind them it's a new shocking moment all over again. I have many extended family members who have known me for 21 years and still look at me with complete and genuine surprise when they're reminded yet again that I don't eat chocolate.

4. You get a lot of gifts that you'll never eat

Yes, people will still try to give you candy, boxes of chocolates, cookies, and all the other gifts most people love to receive. You learn to politely accept the gift and then find the nearest chocolate lover to re-gift it to.

5. You've given away chocolate before to get people to like you

Especially in school, I would constantly use this tactic to get people on my good side. Picture elementary school...for every kid's birthday there is a special treat their parents bring in for the whole class. Thirty children become thrilled at the prospect of desserts being handed out. Ninety-five percent of those elementary school treats were chocolate loaded.

Very quickly I learned an effective strategy: accept the item kindly, wait for the birthday person to walk away, and then quietly offer your portion to your friend, love interest, or the person you want to like you more. Pro tip: this strategy works just as well, if not better, on adults.

6. When you meet a fellow chocolate-hater, it's a miraculous surprise

It's always the same moment. Someone offers a group some chocolate item and they turn to you. You sigh and say, "actually I don't like chocolate..." Everyone gasps and loses their shit over it. But once in a while, another person in the group gets excited and yells "neither do I!" And then you have an ally for life.

7. People will continually try to convince you that you're wrong and you actually do like chocolate

No, I don't want to "give it another try." Yes, I've tried it many times, and no, I still don't like it. Many peoples' reaction is to try to convince me that I just haven't tried the *right* chocolate and then force feed me some of it to prove that I'm wrong and lying about being a chocolate hating lunatic.

8. For whatever reason, some people will actually be physically upset

I have truly had people say very harsh things when they discover that I don't like chocolate. It's all a passionate chocolate-fueled rage, though, and it dies off fairly quickly. Still, you come to fear the reaction of people when you reveal this apparently horrifying secret.

9. People desperately try to find *some* chocolate item that you like

And yeah, there actually are a few small exceptions for me and some other people. I do like white chocolate ("not real chocolate," as I've been berated about by many) and I like peanut butter with chocolate, as long as the ratio is greatly in favor of the peanut butter.

I'm talking like the standard size Reese's cup with the thin ass layer of chocolate on the peanut butter. I can tolerate that because peanut butter is such a delicious and overpowering taste. But no, for the millionth time, I don't magically enjoy chocolate once it's in the form of cake, ice cream, brownies, pancakes, cookies, or anything else you're trying to convince me to eat.

10. Restaurant dessert menus aren't usually too tempting

"Let's see...chocolate mousse, lava cake, chocolate silk pie...oh! raspberry tart, that sounds great." And then, so many times, that tart arrives only for you to discover that yes, it's covered in or lying on a bed of chocolate sauce. It's a cruel world, everyone.