The picture above is of my beautiful family. Those are my parents, grandmother and sister. When you looked at this picture, you probably made an assumption of our race. We all are black. Throughout my upbringing, I was told to expect people to question my race and that I should just always answer, "I am black." When I was younger that seemed so simple. I figured I would answer the question and then it would be over right? Wrong. I learned the hard way that a simple answer does not satisfy most people. Here are some of the questions that I, and other racially ambiguous people I have talked to, are tired of hearing.

1. "So what are you?"

I am a human being. This can be phrased so much more respectfully. Don't get me wrong – even I have slipped up and said this. It's OK to recognize this and apologize. Say something instead like "So, what is your ethnic background if you do not mind me asking?" Please DO NOT ask someone about their ethnicity if you just met them. We spend our whole lives with our skin color and features as all anyone wants to talk about. Have you ever had to stop your life to answer what you are? No? So then why must I?

2. "So where are you from? No really, though. Your parents? Grandparents?"

OK, so why do you need to know where I am from? If you are not the government or employing me, then I do not see why that is relevant to know in just meeting someone. I am from America, so when I say tell you this, it is not an invitation to keep questioning why my family came over here.

3. "Really, I could have sworn you were (names a very specific country in an ethnic group that you are not).”

No. I know you want to put your stereotypes and judgments on me, but I am not. I get it you see features that you attribute to one culture and just assume I must also be, but the beautiful thing about the world is that everyone is unique. There are naturally darker Asians, Caucasians, and Hispanics. Just like there are naturally lighter black people. The world is full of amazing people that will not always fit what you think they look like, so please don’t limit them because you have never been exposed.

4. “Do you get (names ethnicity) a lot? I am sure I am not the first to say it.”

No, you probably are not. But should that really be a statement? It is like you are trying to validate why you could put your stereotypes and judgments on me. While I may have heard it before, you do not have to be another number and person to add to my list.

5. "I don't think you look ____"

Well it’s a good thing when God created me he did not consider your opinion. Just because you do not think it, does not mean I am not it. Like I said for #3 there are different skin tones attributed to all races.

6. "You are really beautiful for being _______"

I am beautiful, period. In order to compliment me, why must you tear down the rest of my people, which includes my entire family? “Exotic” is not a good word, because it makes me sound like a foreign animal/alien. I am not, I am just me.

7. “Are you sure you aren’t (names ethnicity that you already said you are not).”

Yeah, I am 100 percent sure I am not that race. I just told you. My answer is not going to change because you ask again.

8. If you label yourself a race and then get asked, "but what else are you?"

Not all racially ambiguous people are more than one race. Some just happen to look more mixed. Now in my particular case, I am actually mixed and that is all my business. Not everyone is multi-racial and it is just rude to expect an explanation for my chosen identity.

9. "So then what are your parents? Grandparents?"

I should again not have to justify myself and heritage. If I tell you how I identify and my race, why do you need to know my entire family history to make sure I am telling the whole story? This is not a party topic conversation. If we are friends on that level of a deep, meaningful conversation and you want to understand me, then let’s talk. But if you just met me, then don’t ask me to recite my whole lineage to you.

10. "No, you must be lying"

I credit Rachel Dolezal for my go-to statement, “Why would I lie about being black when they are not even treated right in this country?” It is ignorant and rude to tell someone they are lying because they do not fit into the narrow viewpoint society has created for racial profiles. I see no purpose in lying to you about who I am and how I identify myself. I am a beautiful black woman, end of story.

Now I am an open book of a person so, for me, there are times when I will just tell people I have known for a little while. But when I go to the mall I do not like being stopped to be asked these questions nor did I like growing up and having to argue with the white boys in my school every year about how no, I am not Indian.

So just remember that racially ambiguous people are people too and we would like some more respect!