Something that is super common these days is for two people to be stuck in that awkward limbo between being a little more than friends but a little less than boyfriend/girlfriend. Maybe you’ve gone on a few dates, but aren’t sure if they were actually dates. 

Maybe you want a relationship but you don’t know how the other person feels. The biggest problem is that one person doesn’t know how the other person feels and they don’t want to be the one to bring things up first. This leaves room for all sorts of problems because neither person actually knows what the other person wants. This is why defining the relationship, or “DTRing” is so important. Here are some reasons why you should DTR.

You won’t miss out on any opportunities. This person could potentially be the one for you. But you won’t ever know that unless you determine whether or not you’re actually a thing. If you wait around for the other person to bring up the discussion, it may never happen. You could end up drifting apart or just feeling super awkward because neither of you knows how to act around the other. Things could potentially come to an end since neither one of you actually knows what the other person wants. Don’t miss out on something great because you’re too worried that you’re going to get embarrassed by bringing up the topic first.

You’ll know what you both want and if your plans line up. You probably already know what you want out of the relationship and how you feel about the other person, but you don’t know what you’re potential S/O wants. It’s even more important to know whether or not your desires match. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, but he/she isn’t, then you most likely don’t need to be spending your time dating. I know it’s important to explore all options, but if your plans don’t line up then it isn’t worth it. You need to talk about what you each want, then go from there.

You’ll know what to expect. One of the reasons it’s so important to DTR your relationship is that you’ll know what you can expect from the experience. Maybe he or she wants to date for awhile and then get serious. Maybe, if both parties are ready, you just want to jump into a relationship. DTRing helps you both figure out what you can each expect down the road.

Defining the relationship can be one of the best things you can do with a person you’ve been seeing. It can help to eliminate the awkwardness and turn your relationship into something more. On the flip side, it can also make you realize that you’re just wasting your time. Don’t leave yourself in the weird unknown.