I grew up being told that family is everything--that they are the ones you can always count on. I grew up being taught that the bible says you should always obey your parents, "Thou shall honor thy mother and father." I grew up being told time and time again how important family is. And yet here I am deciding for myself that maybe family is not the most important, and maybe cutting off those who share the same bloodline as I is the best thing I can do right now. Sometimes it is better to love from afar than to continue a toxic cycle of exposure of such negativity and damaging effects.

There comes a time when you realize after years of constant hurt, disappointment, emotional abuse and frustration that maybe your own parents are toxic. Maybe the relationship is too damaging for you to continue to try to fix, and as much as you would wish that they would change, they will not. It is hard to realize that your relationship with toxic family members is fueled with emotional, mental and physical poison that makes you feel like it is slowly killing you. The only antidote for this damage is distance and sometimes that means cutting them out of your life entirely.

Just because they are a part of your family does not give them the right to treat you badly. Just because they raised you does not mean you have to stand by and tolerate the emotionally unhealthy habits they inflict upon you. Just because they are your parents does not give them the right to constantly tear you down and cause turmoil in your life. I love my family to death and care for them deeply, however, I can no longer put their happiness before my own. As family, they are supposed to be caring and supportive, and instead I have only received constant criticism and harsh words that seem to cut deeper than any knife ever will.

A toxic relationship is like someone injecting a poison that rushes through your body--damaging everything in its path every time you affiliate with that person. In the end, you are always the one being harmed and damaged by their poison. This choice has been incredibly painful and heart-wrenching for me to determine, but much needed. I feel as though I had no other choice but to cut ties with those who raised me--my own parents. I had to create space in order to avoid the continuing negativity and blame I was receiving.

I have tried so desperately hard to please my parents and yet everything I do seems to fail. I am having to heal what is broken right now and I cannot fix myself if I am constantly being dragged down by their negativity and unsupported ways. I am the one who is left dealing with the aftermath of every disastrous experience we have together. I am the one who is hurt in the end and I have realized I cannot be that person anymore. I cannot allow the toxins from our relationship to continue to cripple my progress and steps forward into a better self-space. My parents have a tendency of being a bit overbearing and very judgmental towards my life choices and decisions. I can no longer be the human punching bag for their words and criticism. I cannot continue to expose myself to such negativity and bad vibes. I am realizing that my parents are like any other people in my life and that is my choice to determine if I associate with them.

I am realizing it is okay to cut out those people who are not good for me. Though the love is still there and always will be, the communication and actions are not healthy and I need to move forward, even if it means leaving those behind who are I care so deeply about. Society tells us to respect, love and honor our parents, but fails to mention what to do when your own parents fail to respect, love and honor us. I have the choice to allow them into my life or not; I have no obligation to associate with them. I can make the choice of who to allow to be a part of my life and who to give the power to hurt me. It is better for me to remove myself from the toxic poisoning in order to better myself than it is to continue to allow the negative exposure. Continuing to allow their destructive behavior to damage me will not solve anything and only cause myself more harm than good.

I cannot change their toxic behavior and no matter how hard I try, I will not please them. I have realized it is my choice whether to allow them to be apart of my life and I am choosing to not sacrifice my own happiness and well-being for their toxic disapproving ways.