Little known fact: A couple of months ago, an Illuminati angel in the form of Beyoncé’s unborn child (named Red) came to a Brandy Melville buyer in the middle of the night and said to her, “The choker is back.” I had no idea, but we sure as hell listened anyways. 

Now, whether you are walking the Hill late at night, catching a morning cappuccino at The Corner, or just stalking Mimi Elashiry on Instagram, you are going to see the choker, and the choker is going to see you. In fact, the choker is so back on the scene that girls are paying upwards of $10 and waiting for months on back ordered sales to get their hands on one of these tiny pieces of low-grade plastic. 

According to our male counterparts, this new fashion craze is even worse than high-waisted shorts. Whereas high-waisted shorts just make our butts look like Mom’s butt, the choker makes our head appear to be disconnected to the rest of our bodies. In my opinion, this could be a good thing. Nothing screams hot chick better than a floating face with high cheekbones and succulent lips. I won’t dwell on the opposite circumstance, but I think you get the point: the choker isn’t for everyone.

Better yet, it’s not just the choker that’s taking over the world.  Colorful leggings, Catholic schoolgirl miniskirts, matching patterns and the half pony are all killing the game right now. Basically, if you look like you just walked out of the movie Clueless, you are doing it right. It is almost as if our favorite pre-K shopping spot, Gymboree, is now giving style advice to Chanel. As Icona Pop would say, "I'm a 90's b*tch, I don't care, I love it..."

What, if anything, does this all mean? It means that we are freaking old. This is the first time our generation has experienced the revival of a fashion trend. We have all had the extremely annoying experience of listening to our moms say, “Oh my God, you dress just like how I did in the '70s!” But who would have guessed that in college we would be able to tell our roommate: “Holy cow, did you get that two piece from Free People?! I wore that exact outfit for my BFFL’s first communion!”

All I have to say is, "Thank God." Because now we all get to live up to our kindergarten graduation yearbook’s advice to never change.