The zombies are coming.
Are you a skeptic? We have had countless media outlets warning us about the zombie apocalypse. Since 2010, "Walking Dead" has enthralled audiences with its imagined "what-if" sequences of a life after zombies take over the world. Movies like "I Am Legend" and "World War Z" introduced a new type of zombie that did not limp slowly to a victim but rather could sprint after its prey (freaky, right?). Then, Call of Duty gave us the opportunity to fight off zombies ourselves; we scream and shout at television screens across America, honing our skills until the day comes when we are put to the test. Are we ready for the real thing?
You need to be prepared because the apocalypse is coming.
1. Work on your fitness.
Being fit does not mean exercising once a week; it means training like your life depends upon it. In this new year, work out with a trainer, preferably someone who is also preparing for the undead to take over the world. Do not be afraid to make this known to the trainer; he or she may make for a great survival partner in the future.
2. Practice your zombie-fighting.
Many video games now offer an option for zombie-fighting mode, which is the perfect outlet to practice your zombie-killing methods. My brother received "Call of Duty: WWII" for Christmas, and in this particular version, you fight Nazi zombies. Warning: this game is incredibly intense and not for the faint of heart, but then again, neither is the zombie apocalypse.
3. Stash your supplies underground.
Find a location that is remote yet easily accessible, whether you need another can of sweet corn or a case of ammo. Because I live in the desert, I know plenty of spots in the middle of nowhere that are only 15 to 20 minutes from my house. Stash everything from food to air mattresses to unicycles because you never know when you may need this stuff. Make sure that no one else knows where your supplies are hidden; you can't help everyone in the fight.
4. Channel your inner Ron Swanson/ Dwight Schrute.
If you are a fan of "Parks and Rec" or "The Office", then you know that these two men approach survival in somewhat similar ways. Ron Swanson is anti-government, anti-vegetable, and overall anti-nonsense. He buries his gold under trees (or does he?), he hunts for his dinner, and he could definitely survive a zombie apocalypse. Dwight Schrute, though pro-beet, is a no-nonsense farmer/ assistant regional manager who also happens to be a volunteer sheriff's deputy, and he often prepares for the end times at Dunder Mifflin.
If you really want to be ready to fight zombies, follow these two men's models and always have ninja stars, potato shooters, or hand grenades on, well, hand. Practice your fight moves on willing participants, but please do not ninja-star a classmate or co-worker unless they happen to be a zombie.
The key trick to surviving the zombie apocalypse is courage. You must be strong enough, both physically and mentally, in order to fight for your life. Zombies, though lifeless, somehow still have the energy to kill off survivors of the original waves. 2018 may be the year where zombies take over the world. Train for the battle; be prepared for the fight. Are you ready?
(To clarify, I love the intensity of a good zombie survival movie, but I do not believe in zombies. Zombies do not exist.)
