Spark: a trace of a specified quality or intense feeling.
Growing up I was never the girl who had boys flocking to me left and right. Never the girl who got everything she ever wanted. But always the girl who who noticed everything surrounding her. For a long time I knew I was something special, but I never really felt that way. Watching all of my friends get taken out on dates, go out on Friday nights in large groups, become homecoming queens and have a handful of boyfriends. I always felt like the odd ball out. It's not common anymore to be 21 and to never have had a boyfriend (We still exist, but we're very rare).
After awhile of comparing myself to all of my friends, I realized I needed to stop! Yeah, sure we had tons of stuff in common and we enjoyed each others company but we were all different people and all had amazing but different qualities! So instead of comparing, I decided to take that energy and put it towards striving to make myself better than I already was!
I started putting my all into school work, classes and all of my extra curricular activities and clubs! Striving to be the best I could, and eventually making myself capable of holding high leadership roles in most of the clubs. So you are probably curious as to why I am telling you all of this? Well I realized, I was not only doing all of this to make myself feel good and feel important, but really that I was doing all of this stuff and more for someone else I don't even know yet!
I know. This sounds completely crazy. But I want to be everything my future spouse is looking for! Not just for him, but I want to be looked at like "wow." I want him to look at me and feel proud, honored, even lucky! I want you to see what all of those other guys didn't. I want you to look at me and the only thing you can do is smile. I want to be adored! I want to be able to push, challenge and encourage you in all the right ways. I want to be your number one cheerleader who always has your best interest at heart. I want to be your spark! The feeling that happens to your car when it has to be jumped, the feeling that happens to a body when it is shocked with a cardiac defibrillator. I want to be that unique feeling that no one else can give you.
God was saving me for someone like you for my whole life, and I can't wait to see where that journey takes us. The ups the downs, the highs and the lows. I will be there by your side through it all standing strong and tall because that is what life has prepared me for. I have learned to see and live life through a different perspective and that has truly made me the best I can be. Now while I continue to explore the world and live out my dream I just hope I find my spark along the way.
Just follow the light when you get lost on a dark path, and you will find your spark!
