Even in 2016, I still encounter men and boys who will tell me that I am beautiful for a black girl, and what does that even mean?

I have been in a continuous battle with myself for years, because I have experienced colorism, which commenced from time immemorial. I grew up in a household where my mother is of fairer skin and my father is of darker skin, and not one of my of parents is more superior than the other, especially when it comes to something as vain as the complexion of their skin.

Many African-American girls are so pleased to be mistaken for being a different race (Hispanic, Indian, Native American) other than being African-American, and I don’t blame then because they believe being ‘black’ is not enough, as I too believed years ago.

At times, I am discriminated against being an African-American female attending a predominantly caucasian school, but never did I think people of my own race and descent would discriminate against me as well. I cannot blame them for this discrimination, because due to ignorance and conforming to what society’s beliefs of superiority, beauty, importance, authority, and usefulness are they don’t know better. Tracing back to a bit of history, I blame Willie Lynch for this connotation. Initially we were all just ‘blacks,' however, slaves began conceiving children with slave masters and the children were of lighter skin (mixed race).

Lynch delivered a speech on the bank of the James River in the colony of Virginia in 1712, to slave owners for how to treat slaves and I believe this is the reason colorism debate promulgated. Lynch stated, “You must use dark skin slaves versus the light skin slaves” which spearheaded this controversy and the light skin slaves were given promotions such as being slaves in houses, instead of working in the fields like the dark skin slaves.

There have been countless times I have gone out with my friends who were caucasian or of lighter skin, who were acknowledged, but I was not. I have even had instances, where guys have not greeted me, and have told me they “only speak to girls of lighter skin complexions!”

Fortunately, I do not let this get to me because my parents have instilled education. The color of your skin does not dictate your beauty, intelligence, humility, importance, and purpose for this world. When I hear girls tell me that they don’t care to dress up or pamper themselves because no one will admire them due to the complexion of their skin, I am appalled! Any man or any individual who admires you based on the color of your skin is not worth your time in this life.

Light skin or dark skin, we are all beautiful. There is no hierarchy. We as women all have wonderful attributes: we all have curves, dipped in brown sugar, honey, various shades of chocolate, caramel, white sugar, or whatever it may be.

All girls are beautiful, and we need to lift one another up, not tear each other down, and that comes with educating people in our communities, men and women about what is truly important.