When I was in elementary school I began to notice the difference between me and other people. You know, besides my sexual reproduction parts. I noticed that I had just a little more stomach than the average five-year-old. Real talk, kids are devils. In middle school, this is when the words “fat” followed by snickers became attached to my identity. Unlike the other girls who developed breast in sixth grade, mine have always been with me; on my chest and in a bucket of KFC.

You can only imagine what this does to someone’s self-esteem. Fifteen years later and I am still working on myself. Body image to girls is the equivalence of white on rice. When you’re the “fat” friend your weight is always apparent. You ever tried shopping with your thinner friends at even thinner stores? You sit down on the nearest cushion and wait for them in their dressings rooms with the same monotonous reaction when they come out. “Oh, that’s pretty."

You ever tried to shop at Victoria’s Secret when your bra size is almost a 40 DD?

How about Hollister whose “regular” sizes are even too small for “regular” size people?

Most of my prom dresses were from David’s Bridal because they were the only place that carried plus size dresses. What plus size stores are even left?

At the age of thirteen, I refused to wear formal blouses from Lane Bryant. What thirteen-year-old girl wants to look flirty and thirty?

No, thank you.

Lord forbid it’s eighty degrees outside and you would like to wear shorts. Ha! Have fun applying the lotion to your inner thighs after that day of chafing. Those jeans that fit around your thighs but not your stomach or how about those jeans that fit your stomach but not your thighs. My thighs rub together so much that most of the material on the inseam is worn. This is the real reason why many girls just wear leggings.

Now keep in mind this is what being the “fat” friend was like for me in lower school. Looking at myself now I wouldn’t consider myself “fat” nor would I say “thin”. But I’m also not “thicc” nor am I looking like a “snacc”. Honestly, with this terminology in 2018, we need to do better. Body positivity is something all women struggle with. I have the secret to solving these insecurities. You are worth much more than the words that are said to you.

Once you start believing those words, that is when they take control. You are more than just your body. You are all a sack of beautiful people and there’s nobody out there like you. Well, maybe there is but then that’s a doppelganger and those are rare circumstances.