I was looking through sweaters when I heard a faint cry from across the little shop. My eyes shot up to see a loving father, clearly agitated, trying to coax his child into walking like a normal human being. The little boy held his father's hand but used his feet to resist against every step his dad was taking. The boy was crying and the words "I don't wanna be here. I wanna go see the toys right nowww" were being repeated over and over again in between his wailing. The dad looked around to see several passive aggressive mothers giving him a get control of your child face. Instead of allowing that to make him angry, he looked back down at his son and pleaded with him "It's okay buddy, listen. Listen. When we are done, we will go see the toys. Just trust daddy." The father tried again "look at all the Christmas lights and all the warm clothes we could buy for mommy." The little boy let out another cry "I want to see the toys right nowww".

I giggled and thought about my siblings and the many times I've been in that poor man's position.

"That's you." I heard God say.

"Haha I know. I'm always trying to keep My siblings from having emotional breakdowns at the most embarrassing times."

"No," He said, "you're the child."

Then before I could defend myself, He spoke again. "You are just like that child. Why won't you let Me lead you? Do you not trust Me? You are helpless on your own. I offer My hand to guide you and you take it. Yet, you stomp your feet and you cry out. If you would walk with Me instead of wailing, I'd love to show you some amazing things. You're too busy being untrustworthy about the destination to see all the beautiful things I've placed on your path there. Do you not believe that what I say is true? Do you not believe that I have written out every one of your days before a single one of them came into existence? Do you not believe I can provide for My children? Emily, just like the mothers in that store, there are people watching you. They see Me guiding you and they see your discontent. Why would they want Me to lead them if they see you impatient and displeased? I want you to have a childlike faith, but I don't want you to act like a child. How am I supposed to work through you if you're too busy trying to work things out for yourself? I long to fulfill you. Will you stop your fit and get up? I'm trying to show you things. I'm trying to use you. Look to Me for patience, I will equip you. Look to Me for love, I will hold you. Look to Me for joy, I will show you. You said you wanted to follow Me. Now, act like it."

Let's just say I put the sweaters down. I walked out to my car, I shut the door, and then I just sat there.

He is right. I am a child. I'm lucky to even have a chance of knowing my Creator in such a way. The fact that He would offer His hand to guide me, and not only that, but He would speak to me in an effort to pursue me and my heart is absolutely beyond me. I want to be used by Him. I don't know my plans for next semester. I don't know my plans for a year from now. All I know is that my Creator knows them. I don't want to miss anything He wants to do in my life right here and now, being worried about the future the He already has under control.

Walk with Him, and be joyful in doing so. The joy of the Lord is your strength. Have faith that He will finish what He has started in you. His promises are true and His love is never failing. He's waiting for you. Trust your father.