We all see it. People post and talk about their kids non-stop, especially on social media. Some people revolve their whole lives around their children, while other relationships fall apart. They are so busy giving attention to their children, they forget to give attention to their spouses. They forget who helped give life to that child. They forget to invest in their spouses.
Every day we all have a choice to show love. In every situation, you have to choose whether you are going to show love or hostility. Although sometimes difficult, the same two options stand for your children and spouse. Are you going to choose to focus or show more affection towards one or the other? Are you going to forget about your spouse and focus on your child? Are you going to forget about your child and focus on your spouse? Life and unconditional love does not work that way-- you can do both. You can show love to your child by prioritizing your spouse.
If we sat back and looked at our lives, would we regret how much we focused on our children, or would we look back in joy and remember all the times we grossed out our kids by dancing in the kitchen, kissing by the fireplace or cuddling watching a movie? As much as I would prioritize a child, I would always find time to love on my spouse. I would always find time for a kiss or a long hug. It’s about making love a priority in your relationship with your spouse.
There is nothing wrong with prioritizing your children. I am not saying to neglect them or give them the "leftovers" of your love. If anything, it’s quite the contrary. By loving your spouse, you’re loving your children. You’re making home life more enjoyable for everyone, even your kids. You’ll have a house full of love, not just materialistic things, for your whole family- spouse included.
Matthew L. Jacobson once said “Based on how you spoke to (or about) your spouse today, what did you teach your child to look for in a spouse?” If you solely focus on your child and not your spouse, you teach your child a child is more important than a spouse. You are teaching them how not to love someone. You have the opportunity to show your child genuine love— not only to your child, but to your spouse. Psychologists suggest that children are later drawn to the same type of people their parents were. If you and your spouse invest in each other and your love every day, your child will understand what genuine love is and they will search for a relationship like that. If you decide to waste the opportunity and forget about investing in your spouse, you have potentially done the very thing you try to avoid: you taught them how not to love. Even though you have shown your child unconditional love, you did not show your spouse that. They will look for the same thing in a future relationship. After all, your relationship with your spouse is the only relationship they intricately know early on in their lives. They will base all of their relationships off of your relationship with your spouse. Don’t waste your opportunity to show them what a relationship is supposed to look like.
