If romantic comedies have taught us anything, it’s that there’s nothing like our first love. Your first love teaches you a lot. For example, it teaches you how to love someone other than your family. Up until that one person, you’ve only ever said I love you to your parents, siblings, friends, grandparents and maybe a few extended relatives.
The media constantly paints the picture through film and television, that even when you go through a heart-wrenching break-up, one day, somehow your first love will walk back into your life. It may be that you bump into each other at a coffee shop, or ironically sit next to them on an airplane. Now, I’m not saying it’s impossible, but it would be ridiculous to say that it’s realistic. What rom-coms don’t teach us, is that our first loves probably won’t be our last. And that is a harsh realization most of us come by.
That is why the second love deserves just as much credit as the first. Your second love teaches you something a little different than the first, both equally important. The first teaches you how to love someone else. The second teaches you how to love yourself and how to love again after experiencing the pain of a failed relationship.
It can be overwhelming to think about how much hype your first love gets when it really belongs to the person who comes along after. Your second love is the one who comes and chooses you, even with your scars and bruises. You learn from them that you can be treated the way you deserve to be. It’s proof that you were right to end your last relationship because there is actually a better fit out there. With this new relationship, you are able to appreciate the things that were neglected in the previous relationship.
Please understand, moving on and forgetting are to different things. Just like your relationships with your first and your second loves. They are both special for different reasons. The first is special for the obvious, they're your first. The second time you fall in love it’s a little more real and more mature. After ending a relationship, you know more of what you are looking for in a partner. You are no longer blindsided by butterflies, and have a better understanding of what you are looking for.
Not that you can’t feel the butterflies with your second love, it just means that you are no longer deceived by them. Anyway, what is most important, is that your second love is able to love you despite all your “baggage.” It takes quite a lot to get over your first love. Sometimes, during the healing process, you put up a metaphorical wall to keep people from accessing your feelings. It is no small feat to knock this wall down, but your second love is fully prepped.
So here’s a thanks to all those second loves out there! Thank you for teaching us how to be vulnerable again. And most importantly, thank you for teaching us how to love ourselves.
