When you were five or six years old, everything was easier. School was less stressful, decisions were simple, and making friends was effortless. Seriously, you could walk up to any kid and minutes later he or she became your new best friend. Then, adolescence hit and times got tougher.
For some people, making new friends has always been a breeze and no matter how old they get, things remain this way. But for others, making new friends can become one of the toughest battles in life.
Back in my hometown, I have a really close group of friends. Some of these people have been my best friends since preschool, while others I met through sports or random classes in middle school. In high school, I still made new friends and acquaintances, but my main group of friends remained the same. We usually kept to ourselves and were perfectly content with each other’s company. I knew a lot of people and was friendly with others in class or at sports practice, but I didn’t necessarily hang out with many other people outside of school. Weekends and fun trips were typically spent with my few best friends. And to be honest, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Then came college.
Since I was so accustomed to having my close group of best friends, I assumed that’s how my life in college would be as well.
But it wasn’t necessarily like that, not at first anyway. I noticed that people quickly started to form groups and cliques. It happened within the first few days of moving in. I met so many people within the first few days but I didn’t feel like I identified with many of them. I quickly became close with my roommate and a few other girls from my classes, but none of them knew each other. They were all in different friend groups and I didn’t know how to balance my time. At home, all of my best friends were best friends. I was panicked that I wouldn’t find a close group of best friends at college, and I thought making new friends would only get harder as the year progressed.
What I slowly learned over time, is that it’s OK if you don’t meet your best friends the first week of college. It’s OK if you still feel like the only people you’ll remain closest with are your best friends from your childhood. It’s OK if you don’t click with everyone.
One of my good friends from high school helped me understand that fact about life. She told me people only click with five percent. In other words, she heard that generally, everyone will only become really close with "five percent" of a group. Five percent of your senior class. Five percent of your sports team. Five percent of your sorority. Five percent of the people on your floor. Whatever it may be, you don’t have to click with everyone. I would go through break ups or strained friendships and my friend would tell me: “It’s OK! They just weren’t in your five percent!”
Of course, this idea doesn't apply to everyone, but if you are someone who finds it difficult to identify with others, know that you're not alone.
