You Only Want To See Me Drown In My Tears
EntertainmentApr 10, 2017
You Only Want To See Me Drown In My Tears
You Only Want To See Me Drown In My Tears
You Only Want To See Me Drown In My Tears
Dear Old Friend,
I decided we aren’t friends anymore and you may not fully understand why.
I recently read To The Bestfriend Who Decided We Aren't Friends Anymore and it struck a chord with me. I realized that I was that friend who walked away, who gave up. I hurt you and that hurts me. But, the reality is, I decided we aren’t friends anymore because… we just weren’t.
I think about all of the memories we shared, too. I haven’t forgotten all of the years we were never without each other. And if we were apart, we were texting or counting down the minutes until we would be together again. I think about the times when it wasn’t even a question if you were going to celebrate my birthday with me, binge-watch Netflix and eat junk food, or hug me until I stopped crying and forgot his name. Because all that mattered was us. We were like Blair and Serena. Everything would be OK as long as we were together, right?
But we aren’t together.
My heart is broken when I see you post pictures with other friends tagged #bestfriend #rideordie #girlfriend, when I hear one of our songs and you’re not there to sing horribly with me when I am alone or scared and you aren’t there like you’re supposed to be.
You’re just not there anymore and you haven’t been for over a year.
I moved away. I will take responsibility for leaving, for transferring colleges, for making new friends, for growing up. I know I left you, but that didn’t change our friendship for me. I never stopped being your best friend. I know I had to go days at a time without texting you back.
I know I had to go months without visiting. I go to a new college, I have new friends and I don’t live 15 minutes away anymore, but when did that stop me from being there for you? When another jerk broke your heart, I was on the phone with you until you stopped crying. When you experienced loss, I got my shift covered and drove down to you as soon as I could. I never called anyone else my best friend, it was always you; my new friends even knew that. But it was never enough for you.
Maybe I am the one who officially decided we aren’t friends anymore, but you decided too.
You decided we weren’t friends anymore when you stopped being my best friend, but expected me to be yours. You decided we weren’t friends anymore when you intentionally tried to hurt me because you felt justified in doing so.
You decided we weren’t friends anymore when you chose a boy over our friendship — over and over and over again. You decided we weren’t friends anymore when you chose to be jealous instead of happy for me. You decided we weren’t friends anymore when you made our friendship a one-way street.
Friendship, like any relationship I have learned, can’t be a one-way street. It isn’t petty, it isn’t cruel. True friendship is supportive, accepting, understanding and is never less important than a boy. Best friends never, ever intentionally hurt their best friends , no matter what the reason may be. Once you do that, you just aren’t best friends anymore.
Now, I know that when you love someone, you fight. I know that there are going to be rough patches, but I stuck around for longer than I should have. You know this. I know you know this. I forgave you over and over and over again. I forgave you for things that I never in a million years could imagine myself doing to you, or anyone for that matter; because I love you. Even when you did the unspeakable, I still loved you. You were my best friend. That meant the commitment to me. That meant loyalty and unconditional love. Until it didn’t to you.
I kept choosing you when I should have been choosing me. Well, now, I choose me.
I stand by my decision in deciding we aren’t friends anymore, but it will hurt me every day. I just know that it will hurt less than it did desperately try to save our friendship, trying to save you. You have made it clear that to you, our friendship isn’t worth saving. You have made it clear that you don’t want to be saved. So, I have no choice but to let go. I have nothing to hold on to anymore.
Despite how it has ended, I still thank you. Thank you for our years of friendship. Thank you for all of the amazing memories — memories that I, to this day, can’t imagine being topped. Thank you for showing me what true friendship is and what it isn’t. Thank you for teaching me how to be selfless, how to be forgiving and how to be a loyal friend. Most of all, thank you for being the person who finally pushed me to choose myself.
The Best Friend You Pushed Away
Don't miss any of these ideas to make your trip complete!
Whether it's a day trip, an out-of-state journey, or an experience leaving the country, here are some tried and true traveling tips.
Before any trip, we all think about what to pack and what to bring. We may have a strict itinerary, or we may have looser guidelines for what to do when. But we should also consider the following - make them goals:
Even if you're going to a place you've been before, go somewhere you haven't been. That might be a tourist hot spot, a restaurant, a park ... it doesn't matter. Just somewhere new.
It might just be small talk, but meet someone new each day you're away.
Take note of where you've been and what you're doing each day. You never know when you'll want to look back on this - it could be years down the road!
It may sound cliché, but securing some sort of a momento & bringing it home with you is a great way to remember a trip. And part of why we travel in the first place is for the memories.
It doesn't even have to be something physical. It might be a good impression with those you encounter, a bit of advice for someone, or anything else in the "leave it better off than you found it" realm.
You're not even doing it to brag. Think about it as letting people know about a destination you found appealing; making a recommendation; promoting some local tourism. And logging that memory for yourself.
Make time for yourself while traveling. It's easy to forget this but moments of stillness and reflection are key.
As an aspiring author, Hunter knew writing for Odyssey would be a great fit for her.
Response writers are what make the world go round at Odyssey! Using our response button feature, they carry on our mission of sparking positive, productive conversations in a polarized world.
We're excited to highlight one of our top writers on our homepage each month. Our March writer of the month is Hunter Johnstone of Eastern Michigan University. Read on to hear her story of becoming a response writer!
Want to become a response writer? Email us! You’ll get to choose your own topics and write one article a week. Your work will be featured on our homepage and in our weekly Overheard on Odyssey newsletter. Plus, for your first 10 articles, you’ll be compensated by HQ at $10/response.
Hi, my name is Hunter Johnstone and I am a response article writer for The Odyssey. I have been writing articles for the platform since November 2022. I attend Eastern Michigan University majoring in Media Studies and Journalism with a minor in Creative Writing. Last November, my News Writing and Reporting professor sent out an email that had details about working for The Odyssey. I was immediately intrigued as I love to write and I want to be an author one day, so I immediately reached out to Glorie. Not long after, I was offered the position of response writer.
Being a response writer is really interesting because you get to read other people's takes or views and then respond with something that you make your own. That, and your responses can vary in the subject matter. For example, sometimes I post listicles about books or movies while other times I talk about personal experiences. I feel like I can really talk about things that I am opinionated and passionate about without judgment.
Now when it comes to my work being published, I really enjoy that. It is helping me build a writing portfolio and I get such a proud feeling when I see an article written by me and that it is being read by an audience. The feeling of having my voice heard by others is such a gratifying feeling. I also get paid for my articles which is really cool since it's like a reward for writing quality content.
Overall, working for The Odyssey has been an eye-opening experience and an amazing opportunity for myself and my work. I can’t wait to make more content and to further find my voice in my writing.
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4. Why don't people understand the quiet rules of the library? If you want to talk, be on the 1st or 2nd floor....If you want silence, hang out on the 3rd or 4th floor. But for the sake of all things holy, don't complain about the noise on the 2nd floor, and PLEASE don't talk on the upper floors. It's rude.
5. Why did I spend $100 on a textbook, only to get back $4.82? Simple. Greed.
6. Why does the Union Market have limited hours? Sometimes, its 3:30 and you just really want a burger, okay?
7. Why is the coffee different at the SRO and Brewed Awakening? I am a fan of Italian Sodas - At the Brewed Awakening, they come with ice cubes, while at the SRO they come with crushed ice.....Weird.
8. Why is Greek Life so small? Anyone who's anyone has been to a frat party at Sigma Chi or PIKE, and they know there are far more people who are interested in the nightlife scene, than there are in the actual Greek system. MSU has 7 fraternities and 4 sororities - Why so small?!
9. Where are the owls that live in Montana Hall? Maybe it's just me, but I haven't seen the owls in a good year and a half. Did they leave, or am I just blind?
10. WHY ON EARTH IS THERE NO PARKING?!?!? Why the actual hell did we decide a parking garage would be a good idea? I mean, yeah the concept is great - but limiting the type of parking passes who are allowed to park in the garage is ridiculous. Maybe MSU should consider what other Universities do, and not allow freshman to bring their cars. Yeah it would piss a lot of people off, but it would certainly fix our parking problem.
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Cynthia Nixon, a.k.a Miranda from Sex and the City, is running for governor of New York. I think that this would be the best decision that has been made in a while solely based off of the fact that almost no one knows New York like the cast of Sex and the City. This got me thinking about who else would be a good candidate to take over the city of dreams. Then I realized that Blair Waldorf, if she were a real person, would be my number one choice for governor. Here are five reasons why Queen B would be an excellent ruler.
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