You can’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

I have had to learn to use the word no, for I have learned that you cannot make homes out of humans. I can no longer keep allowing myself to be used as a home for people who don’t even deserve to see the deepest parts of who I am.

I pass this on to you, for the ones who are struggling with this just as I am.

Home, such a simple word, but with such a deep, loud meaning. Everyone defines home in a different way and that is okay. To me, home is simply a place where I feel loved, accepted, wanted and valued. I don’t know if this is true for any of you, but I have always been the girl who tried to “save” people. Whether that be in a literal sense, or simply taking their problems upon myself so they would no longer have to suffer. Somewhat of a human “home.” I was always a safe landing place for the people around me. Don’t get me wrong, I love helping the people around me immensely, but at the same time it takes a toll on a person.

As I came to college I had to learn that sometimes I can take priority over others. My health is just as important, and if I want to live up to what God has in store for me then I need to take some time for myself.

It is okay to take time to fix yourself. It is okay to love yourself. It is okay to say no.

Yes, I know you are always supposed to help others, maybe even first, but how can you heal the broken if you yourself are just as broken?

Jesus has taught us to love our neighbors just as he loved us, and I am all for this, but in moments of weakness, I can’t say I have always done this. I hate to admit that I am not always living up to the great potential God has for me, but it’s true. We all make mistakes whether or not we want to admit it to ourselves, or others. I have always had a fear of making mistakes, because that meant that I would end up disappointing someone that I cared about. I feel like all of us have a little bit of this fear with in us. I quickly learned that mistakes happen, either you can deal with it, fix it, apologize if necessary and move on, or it will eat you alive.

Fear, it wakes us up. It makes us think, it makes us feel, it lets us know we are alive. Boy oh boy does it feel good to be alive.

So as I finish up my first year of college I have had to learn that no isn’t always bad, and I can’t keep being a home for people who don’t deserve me. I have had to learn that words hurt, but they don’t define you, and sometimes, the person you thought you knew, turns out to be completely different- whether that be good, or bad. I have come to learn that time away from people can be good, don’t feel bad for needing a break. Explain why you are hurt, because if they don’t know it can’t be fixed. I have ultimately had to learn how to be myself, and love that person just as much as I love everyone else.

I know it can be hard to let down the walls, to say no, to take a leap of faith, but I challenge all of you to do just that. Take that leap of faith, love yourself, and learn that no isn’t always bad. Time to yourself can be the most beneficial thing out that. Because like I said, how are you supposed to help the broken, if you yourself are just as broken?