Since when did men obtain the power in society to decide what constitutes beauty among women? Aren't we the ones who get up an hour earlier every morning to curl or straighten our hair, to apply makeup to hide the little imperfections on our faces, piece together outfit after outfit to make sure the pants match the top just right and then spend another ten minutes just staring at our jewelry trying to decide if we should go necklace or earrings or both? And where are they? Probably still sleeping. Or at work. But regardless, they didn't spend an hour or more primping their hair or covering their blemishes or matching their shoes to their shirt. So why do men get to decide what is beautiful in a woman and what is not?

I'll let you in on a little secret: they don't! If men have any sort of power in deciding what is and is not beautiful in women it is because we have allowed them this power. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why don't we give ourselves credit for the time we spend in the mornings getting ready or for the hours at night we spend putting on lotion and face masks and taking care of our cuticles? If we spend so much time pampering ourselves into what we believe is beautiful, why are we giving men the power to take that away from us?

Your face is beautiful. When you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and see your straggly hair sticking out in all places and you see pimples on your face and dark circles from staying up late the night before, that's beautiful. Your messy hair represents the way you dream at night. The more you dream, the more you move in your sleep. Why wouldn't you want to be a girl with big dreams? The bigger the hair- the bigger the dreams! Those pimples? Your body is being normal. Pimples are natural. They are a reaction to the environments that we thrive in every single day. We'd rather be out and about experiencing everything the world has to offer than staying home with clear skin! So what! Embrace those pimples... they represent your experiences, good and bad. And those dark circles from the night before? You're dedicated. And ambitious. And strong. You were tired but ignoring the exhaustion, you pushed on and you completed what needed to be done. That's inspiring and brave and selfless. That's beautiful.

Your fat is beautiful. Since when does he get to decide what's a perfect weight for you? If you feel comfortable, if you're happy with the way you look and you're still getting to eat the yummy food you love (especially during that time of the month!) then blow him off. Fat is beauty. Women are naturally born with more fat. It's the way we are and rather than being frowned upon for not having flat stomachs, we should be celebrating that there is even more of us to love. And for the girls who are skinny and call themselves "bony"... You're just as beautiful. In fact, we're even closer to seeing the inside beauties of your hearts. Lack of fat, excess fat... That's who you are. Fat is just a word that someone defined a long time ago as excess body weight. That has nothing to do with your beauty.

Your laugh is beautiful. It radiates like sunshine on a cloudy day. There is nothing more beautiful than hearing the true sound of happiness radiating from the insides of someone's heart. Happiness is contagious and when you smile or laugh you bring about a wave of joy that fills up everyone around you.

And no matter what he says, your fears are beautiful too. Everyone has fears, that's what makes us human. It's okay to be afraid. Maybe you are afraid of something many people aren't afraid of, and that's okay. Or maybe you are afraid of something that everyone else is afraid of and that's okay too. Don't ever let someone tell you that fear makes you less of a person or less of a woman. Don't let him make you feel ashamed of what you fear or ashamed of what you feel. Feel deeply and passionately and let your feelings take you to a place beyond your wildest dreams.

We are strong. We are powerful. We are courageous. We are fearful yet fearless. We walk a tight rope every day between what feels like a split second decision and decisions that feel like they will affect eternity. We are brave. We are selfless but can be selfish at times too. We know what we want and we chase it until we grab hold of it. Then we chase something else. We have a voice. That voice has power. You are beautiful. You are brave. You are strong and you can do anything you set your mind to.

I know every woman has been heart broken at least once or twice if not more in their lifetime. You survived that heart break, you overcame it. And even if you're still feeling that heart break right now, even if you feel it shiver through all of your bones as you read this, I want you to know that it doesn't make you any less of a fighter. The experiences you go through and the lessons you learn makes you who you are. They make you your own kind of beautiful. And no one should ever get to define "your beautiful" except for you.

P.S. Men.... you are your own kind of beautiful too. Or handsome, whichever you prefer. You have just as much right to define your own beauty as women do. I hope you choose to take advantage of that as well. Let's strive to create a place where beauty is anything and everything we choose for it to be.