7 Cats That Purr-fectly Sum Up The Worst New Year's Resolutions

7 Cats That Purr-fectly Sum Up The Worst New Year's Resolutions

New year, new me(ow).

With a new year comes new beginnings, new endings and a fresh, hopeful attitude.

We make resolutions so that we can begin a new year feeling like a better version of ourselves, and I think that is an absolutely great way to take on the start of 2018.

But, only in theory are new year’s resolutions a good idea; in practice, resolutions are the beginning of a year of disappointment and failed attempts at a “new year, new me."

If you can actually stick to your resolution to eat better, use that gym membership to its full potential, become a more organized human being and so on, then I am proud and envious of you.

I know myself, though, and how my resolutions have been grossly predictable and unattainable, so I decided to stop making them (that doesn’t count as a resolution, right?).

Here are some of the lies I have told myself to keep my dreaded New Year’s resolutions — and what better way to express such self-deprecating humor than with cats?

1. I am totally going to focus on eating better.

Don’t get me wrong, I do try to focus on a balanced diet, mainly because it makes me feel much better about myself and gives me the energy and focus to get through my days.

But the start of a new year does not make the best excuse to be healthy. I have to work on that all year round.

2. I am going to get the most expensive, unlimited gym membership and go every day.

To go along with the whole “eating healthier” attitude, again, working out should be a daily routine for me, but honestly, it is not. So, how do I expect myself to jump right into 2018 with the notion that I will suddenly realize I am in shape enough to work out every day?

Spoiler alert: I am not in shape for that, and setting those unrealistic goals only makes me frustrated. I will work out when I have the motivation and money to do so.

3. I will stop drinking for a whole year.

This is laughable considering most of the outings my family, friends and I partake in involve some kind of alcohol.

I don’t really drink much anymore, anyway, because I simply enjoy being a hermit in my house and not going out to loud bars to spend too much money on sub-par drinks.

Call me a booze snob, but oh well.

4. I am giving up sugar in 2018.

This is way more laughable than giving up all alcohol. Have you even tried mint cookie crumble ice cream?

That being said, I do hope to cut down on my stress eating (always gravitating to the sweets) but when I damn well please, which could be two years from now. Or tomorrow.

5. I will totally become super organized and love every second of it.

This is the most difficult resolution I make every damn week.

I am an untidy mess most of the time, and an organized, chaotic tornado the rest of the time. I need a better organizational strategy that works for me because the simple solution of just keeping my room and work areas tidy is impossible.

Believe me, I have worked for 26 years to be better at being cleaner, but different things help me, and I am slowly realizing those ideas.

6. I will become a morning person and wake up early every day to get my day going and routine started.

Sometimes I accomplish this, sometimes I don’t, but I certainly do not need to wait until the new year to implement this idea.

I like to let my body tell me certain things, and my sleeping patterns are one of those issues my body can figure out on its own. If I am up too early or sleep too late, I feel it, and it sucks.

7. I am going to volunteer more and give back.

I practice this as much as I can. Sometimes I can afford to give to charities or to the homeless I pass by, other times I am struggling to choose whether to pay my student loans or buy groceries.

I don’t need a resolution to make me give more money to a cause. I try my absolute best to give when I can.

These are great resolutions to have, but I cannot in good conscience use a simple “new year, new me” idea to get these goals accomplished.

If I make a list of what I have to do before the end of the year, then I simply will not fulfill those promises and feel worse for “failing."

So, if resolutions really help you, then, by all means, please go for it, and do what is best for you.

Just remember, you do not need a new year to self-improve, and you certainly shouldn't feel obligated if you like where you're at this year, next year and many years ahead.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

Popular Right Now

37 Drake Lyrics From 'Scorpion' That Will Make Your Next Instagram Caption Go Double Platinum

Side A makes you want to be single, Side B make you want to be boo'd up.


We all knew Scorpion was going to be the summer banger we wanted. However, Drake surprised us with two sides of an album and two sides of himself. Mixing rap and R&B; was genius on his part, so why not dedicate 37 of his lyrics to our Instagram captions?

1. "Don't tell me how knew it would be like this all along" — Emotionless

Definitely a "I'm too good" for you vibe.

2. "My mentions are jokes, but they never give me the facts" — Talk Up

This one's for my haters.

3. "I wanna thank God for workin' way harder than Satan" — Elevate

For when you're feeling blessed.

4. "I promise if I'm not dead then I'm dedicated" — March 14

In Drake's story about his son the world knows about now, we get a lyric of true love and dedication

5. "My Mount Rushmore is me with four different expressions" — Survival

6. "Pinky ring 'til I get a wedding ring" — Nonstop

7. "I gotta breathe in real deep when I catch an attitude" — 8 Out of 10

This first line of the song is about to be spread on the gram like a wildfire

8. "Heard all of the talkin', now it's quiet, now it's shush" — Mob Ties

9. "California girls sweeter than pieces of candy" — Sandra's Rose

This is gonna have every girl who has ever stayed in Cali all hot and heavy, watch it.

10. "I think you're changing your mind, starting to see it in your eyes" — Summer Games

Y'all know how these summer games go

11. "Look the new me is really still the real me" — In My Feelings

When you've got to profess that you've changed 200%

12. "Only beggin' that I do is me beggin' your pardon" — Is There More

13. "Shifted your focus, lens lookin' jaded" — Jaded

14. "Back and forth to Italy, my comment section killin' me" — Can't Take a Joke

Necessary for when you've got people hyping you up already

15. "People are only as tough as they phone allows them to be" — Peak

Y'all can't have this one, I'm stealing it

16. "Work all winter, shine all summer" — That's How You Feel

Put in the work so you can flex on 'em, summer 18

17. "Blue faces, I got blue diamonds, blue tint, yeah" — Blue Tint

18. "I stay busy workin' on me" — Elevate

19. "Ten of us, we movin' as one" — Talk Up

The perfect reason to get the largest group picture you've had on your gram

20. "October baby for irony sake, of course" — March 14

This statistically applies to 1/12 of y'all reading this, so take that as you will (we October babies are the best)

21. "She had an attitude in the summer but now she nice again" — Blue Tint

22. "I know you special girl 'cause I know too many" — In My Feelings

23. "Gotta hit the club like you hit them, hit them, hit them angles" — Nice for What

24. "She said 'Do you love me?' I tell her, 'Only partly,' I only love my ____ and my ____ I'm sorry" — God's Plan

If you haven't used this one yet, get to it

25. "But I'm blessed I just checked, hate me never met me in the flesh" — I'm Upset

26. "It's only good in my city because I said so" — 8 Out of 10

Follow this up with a location and shoutout your hometown

27. "My haters either on they way to work or they arrived" — Can't Take a Joke

28. "I always need a glass of wine by sundown" — Final Fantasy

Has Drake ever been more relatable?

29. "It's your f***in' birthday. Happy birthday" — Ratchet Happy Birthday

Let's go get kicked out of an Applebee's

30. "I move through London with the Eurostep" — Nonstop

31. "I stopped askin' myself and I started feelin' myself" — Survival

Mood all summer 18

32. "They keep tryna' get me for my soul" — I'm Upset

33. "I'm tryna see who's there on the other end of the shade" — Emotionless

34. "Only obligation is to tell it straight" — Elevate

35. "It don't matter to me what you say" — Don't Matter to Me

This line from the King of Pop (MJ) will give you chills. R.I.P.

36. "I'm the chosen one, flowers never pick themselves" — Sandra's Rose

37. "Say you'll never ever leave from beside me" — In My Feelings

Couple goals, amirite?

Cover Image Credit:

@champagnepapi / Instagram

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