When you spend 5 years with someone you can not help but have conversations about the future. Planning a future with someone is an interesting thing to do when you do not really know yourself or what you want. 

The first 4 years we were THAT couple. The couple that everyone saw in public or on social media and thought how prefect we were. We went through some ups and downs, but still found ourselves planning that future I thought we both wanted. Senior year of college rolled around and real life slowly pulls you to reality like a current in the ocean. Going back and forth from trying to live it up in college and planning your next big move in life. Being an education major...life was definitely not what a normal senior year would be. Waking up early to teach a third grade class while also dealing with a knee injury was not what I dreamed my last year in college would be like. I thought I had a support system in this "prefect" relationship that was falling apart with out me even realizing it. Within my last year at Georgia Southern he had broken up with me or tried to break up with me 3 times. I say tired because it would happen and then he would change his mind and I was holding on to what we used to be because it was my life raft in this current of slowly adulting. 

The last month of my senior year I traveled to England to teach before graduation. I got to experience being with out him for the first time in 4 years. I missed him but definitely not how your supposed to miss someone your planning on spending forever with. We talk everyday while I was aboard but they were empty words of just feeling like we had to speak to each other. While I was there I met a guy. He was the first guy that I had talked to since before my relationship that I did not already know or was not a friend of a friend. He was a guy that came into my life for a reason, but I did not know what that reason was at the time. We talked and hung out in big groups when we went out in England and the craziest thing happened. We had real conversations. They were not empty words or interview questions. They were conversations filled with interest and intrigue. These conversations were the first time I forgot about those future plans and the person in them. But as they say all good things must come in an end. I left England to go home and graduate. I returned back to Georgia Southern and felt the "this relationship is hanging on by a string" for the first time, but being that picture prefect couple we pulled it together for our friends and family that we were around for graduation. After graduation I did all the things that makes you look good to a person your planning your future with. I got a teaching job at an elementary school and encouraged him to follow his dream of going to Alabama for grad school and promised we would make it work. 

Over the summer it was the same old same old. I ran a summer camp and he did whatever he wanted. Then the BOMB dropped. The final break up. A week after our 5 year anniversary I got the text message. Yes that is right a text message. I got the text message that summed up said "I think I want to sleep with and date other people to make sure you are the person I am supposed to be with." Looking back that text is laughable. Beside the fact that he is a coward, its laughable to think I could not see the signs of how much we were not meant to be together. I am as they say an old soul, relationship type, ready for the next step. I am a planner. In that moment I thought that my world and what I knew was taken from me in an unfair way. All those plans I made in my head were gone. I was sad and had just received my first heart break. Little did I know that the end of that chapter started a brand new one that would lead to me finding out who I am and what kind of man I really deserve.