It has been almost one year since I decided to pack up and move to the east coast.
It has been almost one year since I mapped out my future and decided that changes needed to be made.
It is crazy how 12 months can change everything, and how one decision can spark a drastic change.
Before this last year, I was at a University doing absolutely nothing with my life. I was taking the required 16/18 credits a semester, participating in school activities and going out three to four nights a week. I was in a haze of continuing through life, just getting by, taking classes I had to take to graduate -- and through it all, hating every second of it. It was amazing to me that something I had looked forward to pursuing was psychologically and mentally killing me inside.
I don't quite remember what sparked in me to apply to an internship program that would take me away from my friends and schooling, but I am so glad I did.
Deciding to move away from school was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. School had become a safety haven for me. Not only would I be risking my degree by leaving for a semester, but I was afraid I would risk the loss of friendships too. I had invested two years into the American Dream, the thing I had planned for years, the dream I had taken multiple SAT tests for; why was I going to risk it all? Taking this internship wasn't necessarily a dream or a career choice for me, however, it was something I finally wanted to do for myself. It was something I had a choice in and something I could control.
I think having control was something I wasn't used to. I was used to being controlled, being told what to do, when to do it and how to do it. I was used to being controlled by media, friends and everyone around me. The continual question throughout your last years of high school like, "Where are you going to college? "What do you want to study?" followed me around everywhere I went. I let these thoughts control me and send me through an abyss of lost time. I let these thoughts captivate me to thinking there was only one pathway to success and a future. I let these thoughts control the fact that even though I hate every class I'm taking, it will help me in my future -- somehow!
Accepting my offer for the Disney College Program, I think, changed everything for me. I had gained a new found freedom in starting new. A complete adventure. I was going in with absolutely no knowledge of anything. However, throughout my six months of living on my own during the program, it was the first time I felt like I was living my life. Not only was I pursuing a goal, but I was spending my time doing things I thoroughly enjoyed. I was taking classes I wanted to take. I was working as much as I wanted to. I was spending nights in watching movies with my roommates. For once, I felt free from the captivity I had put myself in. I realized that I was the only one I needed to please, and I was the only one that could control my future.
Three internships later, a new school, a degree that I actually love learning about and a new outlook on control, I have decided to never let anyone control my thoughts of success vs. failure.
I'm beyond thankful for the opportunities that I have had and the people that support me through every crazy turn in my life.
