I am sitting in a coffee shop surrounded by my friends and sipping on a my favorite drink: a mango smoothie with whipped cream. It's a local coffee shop, one I haven't set foot in since the summer after graduating high school. The last time I was here, I was with my boyfriend at the time. Then I realized, it has been one whole year of singleness. I let that sink in. A whole year. A year of highs, lows, and a lot of GNO's.

As I reflect on the past year, I am AMAZED at the person I am, compared to who I once was. I can't help but credit this transformation to God and the person He is shaping me into. I continue to reflect on this year, hoping to realize how happy my life is, not that I really need convincing anymore. This isn't me trying to brag, I am genuinely just so happy with my life and where I've come. But it did not happen overnight. So, here is my year in review.

The first weekend was arguably the worst in my life. I didn't know a person could be capable of so many tears. I hurt, not just emotionally, but physically. I used to think girls were being dramatic when they said they were heartbroken. Now I know. It felt like I was hit by car, a fast moving car. I barely ate for a week, and when I would force myself to, I end up throwing it all up. I knew a broken heart would make me sad, but not like this. I have never hurt so bad in my life.

The following month was hard, likely really hard. I replayed the event in my head every. Single. day. hoping I could remember some new detail that would give me hope of a redemption. I checked my phone every five minutes, wishing to have a text or call from him. Nothing. I cried myself to sleep almost every night and forced myself to be surrounded by people, otherwise the emotions would come rushing back and I would cry uncontrollably.

I got angry, like really angry. I was determined to prove that I was doing just fine, and some days, I really was. Others were like ripping the band aid off a fresh wound. I channeled all my anger into working out and lost 20 pounds by the end of the semester. It was a good feeling, but just a temporary high to distract from the ache in my heart.

I got lonely, like really lonely. By the end of the semester, I no longer cried or thought of him everyday. I became social and actually started to form my own identity apart from him. It was nice. But sometimes a wave of loneliness swept over me. I found myself questioning if he missed me and or if he ever felt lonely like I did. This was short lived, because thankfully I was moving on, like really moving on. I got amazing opportunities and spent the entire summer doing something I am passionate about. The summer was the turning point.

I was angry with God. "How could you do this?" "I am your devoted child, why would you put me through this?" I blamed God for my broken heart. Boy was I wrong. If there is one thing I've learned in the past year, it's this: It is really easy to say you trust God when things are going great in your life, but the moment your idols are taken away in your life, it become a lot harder to actually trust God.

I've learned deep, genuine trust in the Lord over the past year. And wow, what a difference it has made in my life. I am now running after him with arms wide open and am learning SO much about his love everyday.

A year ago, I could count all my friends on two hands. Now, I cannot keep track of the number of friends I have. And these are not just acquaintances. These a genuine, deep, and loving friendships. I have my dream job, working in children and student ministries at a church, the same church I grew up in. I work with an AMAZING staff and miss them when I'm not in the office. I am involved with a campus ministry and am an ambassador for my university. In fact, I was helping with an open house event on campus this morning and was known as the "campus cheerleader" to all the parents and students because of my energetic and enthusiastic personality. I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging or make my life seem amazing. I still get stressed with an extremely busy schedule and the pressures of responsibilities on my shoulders. But I do say this to point out the difference a year can make in my life when I finally stopped focusing on myself, putting unrealistic expectations on others, and finally let God take control.

I hope my year in review inspired you. I am not inspiring, but the work God has done in me sure is. I often look at the tattoo on my foot when I forget this simple truth or am discouraged of the progress I've made: Let Go and Let God. I used to beat myself up because I wasn't as far in my healing as I was "supposed" to be, but I finally, finally, finally realized that healing happens at its own rate and you just have to let it run its course. Of course, there are things you can do to quicken or prolong the healing on your heart, or any part of your body for that matter, but do NOT be discouraged when it doesn't happen overnight like you want it to. Be reminded of God's sovereignty and trust his timing. I promise, it gets better.