I’m not the person I was a year ago. Heck, I’m not even the person I was 8 months ago. This is a realization that hit me like a truck flying at 85 miles an hour a few weeks back while I was studying old photos hanging on my parents’ wall.

I’ve grown.

I’ve become stronger.

I’ve redefined my values and my priorities.

And I define who I am as a person drastically differently than I used to.

And, irrefutably, the root of the reason this evolution came to be is simply that I moved far from home, all alone... leaving myself with no choice but to build a life that I would wake up in the morning excited to live; because, in building that life, I had to reflect upon not only what I vehemently wanted to accomplish but, more importantly, who I wanted to be and how I wanted to reach those seemingly unfeasible aspirations.

And, being that I did choose to go so far from home, that time to myself seemed boundless in my first several weeks; but, it compelled me to question what I’ve been told the last 18 years of my life and it forced me (though rather uncomfortably) to ask myself what my priorities, values and goals were.

What do I want in life? Why do I want those things?

Are the decisions I’m making for me? Or are they for someone else?

10 years from now, where do I want to be? Are my decisions today assisting me in arriving at that place?

What kind of energy do I want to surround myself with? Does everyone in my life currently meet that standard? If not, why are they still around?

What is important to me? What do I value and prioritize? Do my actions portray those values?

What are the fundamental beliefs I hold to be true? About life? About people?

I spent countless hours walking, sitting in coffee shops and driving pondering not only those questions but so many more. The thing was, for at least the first 4 months, every time I felt I had arrived at a firm conclusion, things would shift in my life and I would be left with no choice but to reevaluate.

Even now, I’m certain my answers to these questions are set to change soon… but, here’s what I’ve ascertained thus far:

Life can have a cruel sense of humor; it never wants to let you get too comfortable. It wants to challenge you, to wants to make you think and it wants you to grow; but, it can’t do any of that if you shut down and cease to see, and think, about the life swirling around you. However, even when you think you’re observing enough, life will come and smack you anyways, just to remind you not to have tunnel vision.

I’ve also concluded that the universe almost undoubtedly fights for moments to occur- for opportunities to come your way, for people to enter your life (both good and bad), for your exposure to new things- but none of that matters if you’re not receptive to it. The moment you decide that your life doesn’t have to be a plan from A to Z (complete with subordinate and coordinate points) and you are open to new ideas and people and places, amazing things will happen.

And I’ve most certainly learned that if karma doesn’t exist, then there are some crazy, unexplainable coincidences that make absolutely no sense. (In other words, I’m a firm believer in karma. If you put good energy into the world, it will be returned to you in some form.)

So, I’m left at this:

I’ve grown. More than anyone who used to know me probably understands. Those that do point it out do so in a negative manner and that’s simply incorrect because my growth isn’t a negative thing; in fact, it’s the farthest thing from it. It’s one of the best phases I have undergone.

I left home in search of more. In search of something that, if I’m honest, I wasn’t really sure of. I didn’t understand what I was looking for... or even what it would look, or feel, like when I finally found it. But I did know that I wanted, or rather needed, more. I needed diversity and inclusion and challenges just as much as I need family and friends and education. I needed a community that would embrace all that I was from the moment I stepped foot inside while never failing to build me into someone more courageous, determined and relentless.

I needed the place I’m now proud to call home; but, that may not be the answer for everyone... so YOU need to be brave and unstoppable in the pursuit of what makes you irrefutably happy.

Ask yourself those difficult questions. Don’t settle for the first answer that appears in your mind. Truly evaluate where you are at and where you want to be, but perhaps more importantly, why you want to get there. Make sure that what you are doing is for yourself and for no one else. And be ambitious, damnit. Don’t stop just because a fool around you is ignorant, or scared, enough to tell you that you’re where “you’re meant to be” or “you’ve gone as far as you can go.” You are in control of your life. No one else. Not your parents, not your professors, not your friends or significant others.

This life is yours. At the end of the day, you have to be happy with the life you’ve built for yourself. Remember that. And have faith that a year from today, if you want it to be, everything can be completely different.

You are in control and you are growing. What do you want to do with that knowledge?