It's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that you've been gone for a year. The whole thing just seems surreal. 365 days without you.
I think I'm still in denial. I still want to pick up the phone and call you. I want to drive over to your house and run in your front door. I want to hold your hand and never let go. I want you here.
All the emotions I felt after you died are back again. I can't control them at this point. My heart is sad without you and my brain can't try to trick or comfort it.
I miss you. I miss you every day.
My mind is so consumed at this point, trying to make sense of how it's been an entire year since I saw you. My person. You forever impacted my life in ways that I will never be able to express.
I just wish I could tell you tell you how much you meant to me. Tell you that you made this world a better place because you did.
It's not the same without you here, It just feels empty.
I try to think to myself be strong, don't cry, they wouldn't want you to cry.
But it's no use because the only emotion I feel is sadness. I feel like I'm grieving all over again.
Watching you slip away from me was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. To know that no matter what I did, it was going to happen. You were going to leave me.
I know you didn't want to go. You would've done anything to stay here.
Life isn't fair.
I just want to look into your eyes again. I'd do anything just to look at your face again. I would study every detail of it so I'd never forget.
I won't ever forget you, I can't.
But my memory of you is starting to fade. I go crazy somedays because I just want to replay your voice in my head, and I can't. It sounds like you, but I know it's not you. Of course, I know what your voice sounded like, I could've picked it out of a stadium of crowded people. But I'm scared that I'll get to the point where I won't be able to hear it anymore.
Know I love you, and I miss you. I think about you every day, not just on the anniversary since you left.
I wish I could say it to you. I wish I could scream it to you. I wish you knew.
I love you.