Usually, I am one to maintain my composure and appearance of happiness regardless of what I am going through. Whether big or small I am notorious for being the kind of person to hold my problems in until they weigh me down too much. And today was that breaking point. This past semester I decided to challenge myself, to be that supersmart, overly occupied student everyone has known and expected me to be. So I decided to take 5 classes and a lab on top (an idiot move...trust me I know), to prove just that.
Overconfident and with a desire to be the best of the best, I decided to make one of those 6 courses Bio2. Self-convinced that when the time comes it would make my application stand out to medical schools and that the challenge would be successful even though I never needed it for my degree nor for medical schools. However, not only did I set myself up for a constant feeling of failure and being overwhelmed, but I placed an unnecessary grade and financial burden on myself over a class I didn't need. I was trying to be and make myself out to seem like a student I was not. I knew my strengths, I knew my weaknesses and I made the terrible decision to ignore them.
As I sat in the pre-Health advising office, I gained some valuable time to think. Why am I rushing? Is it to make my parents proud? Is it to impress my peers? Is it because I am trying to finish fast so there's less time to fail, or am I putting too much pressure on myself? Surprisingly, despite the news of possibly not receiving the best grade in the class, I looked to my mom for support and she delivered just that.
Not only did she remind me of the 2.5 to 3 years left that I have, but she also reminded me that there are options and other classes ahead that will make that one pugnacious grade seem so insignificant and that the only way it would matter is through my GPA.
So as a freshman (technically sophomore credits wise), my advice to incoming freshman Biomed students at any university is to never sign up for more than you can take, and that sometimes being ambitious can skew what could have been a beautiful outcome at the end of a semester. I know the pressure to impress and be successful is impeding on your every thought about school, but trust me, the self-doubt, stress, and sleepless nights are not worth it.
Despite this class knocking me down, I have learned a valuable lesson for myself, that rushed time is never a good time. Always go with your gut and never with the want to impress a school.
As I was told today, professional schools, whether for medicine, law, nursing, etc. look at the big picture, not just one semester, and also at the upward trends, the exams, and the exposure you pursued. I too am struggling with remembering that I am more than just my GPA and even though that may be hard to swallow or believe sometimes, it's just the thing you need to believe in to keep you pushing through in any major.
Trust in your heart and always be honest with yourself and also with your family – it may be scary not wanting to disappoint them, but trust me they know the pressure of college and they are there to help along the way. As Disney says, "Ohana means 'family,'" so let your family be your rock, your guide, and your support whether blood-related or not. And lastly, remember that true friends stick with you through the good and the bad, and if the bad scares them away, then they weren't worth it anyway.
